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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
2The Doctor2 Offline
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"the talk" - April 16th 2012, 11:44 AM

My dad never gave me the sex talk so I learned everything off the internet and over hearing kids at school. I don't want my brother to have to learn the same way so I was wondering, should I give it to him or should I just let him figure things out on his own? if I should when should I. he is 10 I'm 13

p.s. I don't feel any resentment towards my dad for not giving me the talk
   
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Re: "the talk" - April 16th 2012, 12:28 PM

Honestly, you can give it to him if you want. Most teens/kids feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their parents. So, he may be more comfortable talking to you. But, since he's 10.. I would at least wait until he's 11/12; He'll be a little more mature about it. lol


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: "the talk" - April 16th 2012, 01:56 PM

I've actually known cases where the sibling gave the other sibling "the talk." It is really embarrassing to discuss it with your parents sometimes, and it's better to learn it from you than the internet and friends. I say he's about the right age for it. He's going to learn it from friends soon enough anyway, if he hasn't already, so when you feel ready, broach the subject.


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Re: "the talk" - April 16th 2012, 03:48 PM

Chances are he already has some idea what sex is. Kids these days aren't stupid, but considering the fact that he's 10, I would wait until he was around your age to find out the real truth.











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Re: "the talk" - April 16th 2012, 04:53 PM

No, no, no....You're making an assumption about his needs based on your own (unfulfilled) ones.

You answer any relevant questions that are presented to you. In the absence of that, you don't. And you redirect him to dad for further info. You're the brother, he's the dad. Brothers answer questions, Dad's bring up relevant topics, regardless how awkward they might be.

You're making a special point at the end there that you don't resent your dad for not providing you with the info you felt you needed about puberty and sex, yet your concern that your brother not learn as you did really indicates otherwise. What you might do is talk with your dad and ask him why he never told you about puberty (at 13, it's still not too late for him to do so), and express concern about his delay, for you and your brother. That way, you're addressing the real issue here, which isn't getting that info...it's how (or who) presents it. Parents really are much better sources for this than the internet, even if it sometimes seems awkward.


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Thumbs down Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 01:11 AM

Dr.Bobby so far you are the only one who feels this way so I'm going with the others
   
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Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 01:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by trogdor View Post
Dr.Bobby so far you are the only one who feels this way so I'm going with the others
As you wish..but please take note that my post was not at all based on something as subjective and error prone as 'My feelings'....


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Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by trogdor View Post
Dr.Bobby so far you are the only one who feels this way so I'm going with the others
So you asked for advice on being a brother, and then you took advice from some teenage girls, and then you took advice from two adult males (Myself being the second, I back Doc on this one)... and you think the teenage girls know what they're talking about more-so than the blokes?

Yeah. Okay. Go with whatever you want to do bro.

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Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 03:09 AM

I didnt really know til I was 18
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Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 03:54 AM

Id say listen to dr bobby. hes the one with the degree in these matters.


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Re: "the talk" - April 17th 2012, 05:00 AM

If his father never explained it to him, there is a good chance he wont explain it too his brother either. Its better he knows about sex, and safe sex before something happens ( like he gets a girl pregnant), it would be better to hear it from the father but if he has information and knows that all his information is correct, its not a bad thing to learn it from an older sibling. although i do agree talking to your dad about why he never talked to you and ask if he plans on talking to your brother is a good idea, if he doesnt do it, it would be a good idea to talk to your brother about it before its too late. My older brother and me taught my younger brother ( hes almost 13) everything he knows about sex and puberty, had we not, he wouldnt know anything and he would have been left confused and full of questions. My father and step mother never taught him anything, so it was our job as his older siblings to help him, chances are we will have to do the same for my other younger brother. bottom line is, hearing it from your dad would be better but if he doesnt, it is a good thing to help out your younger brother and help him with this.


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Re: "the talk" - April 18th 2012, 08:17 AM

No, don't defile him yet.

I learned when I was 10 - 12. If you don't know about sex, then no longer are you the persuer. Girls know you're not looking for anything in a relationship you may have with them.

In fact, she might even instigate it. By that time you should know, or else you may reject her and she'll certainly get offended.
   
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