I wish I was pregnant

[TwistofFate_07]

I know this may seem weird since I'm still very young but I wish I was pregnant. I'm serious. Like I wish that I could just meet the love of my life and get pregnant and have a baby. I never had sex before with any of my previous boyfriends since I'm very cautious and worried that if I did get pregnant my family would get mad at me and yell at me and that would make me really upset to the point where I'll just break down and cry. I have bad anxiety and depression and went to crisis twice for saying that I wanted to kill my family and that I wanted to commit suicide and that I wanted to cut. I'm afraid that if I was pregnant that I would be putting my child in danger of losing his/her life because I'm crazy and that I might commit suicide from being in a lot of pressure. But I really really really want to have a baby.

[SexySquirrel]

If your family would be upset with you, then that's a sign you need to wait. You're only 14, you're still in school, right? You may feel like you want a child, but you also need an education. You can't look after a child, and teach a child the necessary lessons, if you yourself have yet to learn them. A lot of the time young girls feel like they want to have a baby, but that feeling usually comes from wanting to mother something, maybe see if you could get a kitten or a dog? You would get almost the same feelings from raising an animal at your age

[TwistofFate_07]

Well I did take care of my brothers when they were babies.

[Always *]

But when you took care of your brothers your parents were still there to support you guys, you wouldn't have been doing all the work then. Helping out your parents with your siblings is not the same thing as being a parent. Knowing your capable of taking care of a child doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to have your own child, ready for the disciplining of the kid, ready to teach how to behave properly, ready to teach to read and speak, ready to take on the financial responsibilities. It doesn't mean you are ready to give up your childhood to raise a child.
I can understand wanting a child, I wish i had a child of my own and i can't wait to be a mom. Most women understand it because many of us have strong maternal instincts. But you are only 14, you deserve to be a teenager, to finish high school, to go to college if that's what you want and to work. It would be very challenging for you to do that, have money and a child.
Having depression doesn't mean you can't be a good mom. I have ADHD and i have often wondered about whether I'd be a good mom. Can I be organized enough to keep another human organized? Would I just be the most spacey pregnant person ever? Could I handle the anxiety that all to often accompanies my ADHD if pregnancy and having a child made it harder to manage issues that having a poorer attention span and all that bring up (such as organization). I think it would. But I understand that ADHD and depression are not the same, but it's a similar challenge in how it might affect you during pregnancy and raising a child. What might help you is talking to a counsellor or finding another way to figure out how manage your depression better so that it will not affect your life so much and so that you are able to stop yourself from having suicidal thoughts. This way when you do get pregnant someday you will not have to be so worried about how having depression will affect you.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to try to enjoy being a teenager. Wanting a child is natural but it is important to be practical about when the best time to have a child is.