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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 1st 2014, 09:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Before anyone says anything, I am fully aware that I made a stupid decision and I'm beyond depressed. Its been a few months now since I last got my period. I went through a horrible break up and I was suicidal. I attempted suicide a few times. I was really depressed to the point that I resorted to drinking, smoking cigarretes and marijuana. I learned that your mental state can affect your hormonal balance and stuff like that so I didn't really care. Anyways, the break up happened when I was on vacation, when I got back home my ex and I talked. He threatened to beat me and forced unprotected sex upon me. It happened a few more times before i couldnt do it anymore. I cut all ties with him. So hes not in my life and theres no way he would help me in any way given the fact that he doesn't care about me. He is a minor if that does anything.. Anyways, I have never gotten any side effects that pregnant people would get. I never got sick, never thrown up besides from a night of heavy drinking but its been a few months. Recently I have found a new source of happiness, music as cheesy as it sounds and my sister and friends cheered me up and I'm a lot happier now. So Ive been expecting my period to get back on track... Which hasnt happened. I'm about to go to planned parenthood later on this week and consult a specialist. If i am pregnant, there is absolutely no way I could keep this child. I am Asian and as stereotypical this will sound, my parents are STRICT. They would kick me out and never bother giving me a second chance. Basically they would abandon me. I have little to no money at all. Im starting to save up for an abortion procedure. If i am pregnant, I don't know how far along I am given the fact that Ive never had side effects and my mental state. I am applying for a job at every place that is hiring in hopes of getting money for this procedure. If i am far along, I know the procedure will cost more. Would planned parenthood accept monthly payments? My grandparents will send me money to help me out but its only a limited amount. 200 at most. Is there a way I can get help with payment? If planned parenthood cant work with me with my money issue, I will take my own life without hesitation. I cannot bring a child into my life at this point in time. i am not mentally stable. There is no father figure for this child. I cannot give it up for adoption because in the end it will cost me more money for everything to be done. I cannot get help from my parents. They would rather see me suffer than help me out in a situation like this. Please if theres anything you know of that will help, please let me know. I am having an anxiety attack right now

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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 1st 2014, 02:55 PM

I think you need to try to mentally prepare yourself for the fact that you may be too far along for an abortion. Every place is different, but if you are months along there is a strong possibility you have missed the window to terminate the pregnancy. I'm not saying this to upset you, but to inform you so that you can start thinking about an alternative plan such as adoption. The center that you will see will be able to go over your opitions with you. Just because you don't get an abortion does not mean you have to parent the child. There are many couples out there looking to adopt a baby. So please don't feel like abortion is the only opition or you will hurt yourself. Because I am concerned about how far along you are. Also, with adoptions, the couple getting the baby will pay your medical expenses. So you don't need to worry about that.

Let us know how your appointment goes. And feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 1st 2014, 08:47 PM

The conservative perspective (which sounds like an oxymoron, since I said conservatice) of Date of Viability is 24 weeks or six months. The earliest baby was born at 5 months, 1 week (or 21 weeks, 5 days) but that doesn't mean that's the latest point in which you can have an abortion. You can have one up to 23 weeks, otherwise you will have to wait it out. Have the OB/GYN ask routine questions, don't try to figure out conception yourself. They've studied for this stuff, and with the proper testing and scanning, they can tell you how far along you are... and whether or not you can have an abortion.

Like Lizzie said, we're concerned about you now because we don't want you to hurt yourself. Getting pregnant isn't the end of your life or the world, no matter how conservative or strict your parents are. Plus, you were raped, and you can only do so much to prevent that from happening. If they can't accept you were raped, don't want this baby, and you are planning on killing yourself, then they're not meant to be in your life. Find people who are more supportive of you, more caring, more willing to stand by your side and stop you from hurting yourself.

As Lizzie said, the family adopting your child will be the ones to pay for the medical expenses. You don't have to worry about paying for anything.
   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 12:42 AM

All areas are different and age of viability is not common law, at least not in America. So take for example in North Dakota, you can not get an abortion if you are more than 6 weeks pregnant. In Arkansas you can not get an abortion if you are more than 12 weeks pregnant. And in some places like Colorado you can technically get an abortion at 40 weeks pregnant, as there are no laws that specify. Some states require that a parent gives consent.

So it really depends on where you live on what your options are. At your appointment they will be able to explain everything to you.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 01:11 AM

Hi there,

There are many reasons why your period may have stopped. Take a breath and get your pregnancy test first. Only take action when you know that you're pregnant- Planned Parenthood will work with you no matter what the outcome is.



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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 02:40 AM

Please know I am praying for you.

Please seek help before you end a babies life.
















   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 09:09 AM

I've been losing so much sleep and haven't been able to eat for the past few days. I really don't know what to do. I'm scared. I was raped. I don't want this child. I would love to give it up for adoption but what am I going to do until the baby comes out? My parents will kick me out without a doubt. They wouldn't care. I don't have a job and I can't even support myself. I will be homeless if I can't get an abortion. I don't know why this has to happen to me. I want to die
   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 10:40 AM

Hey there,

Maybe I'm missing something, but I personally cannot find where you said your last period is. If you can give us that information, along with potentially the country/state you live in (if you're comfortable!) it would be a lot easier to give you specific advice. At this point, I would say that you still have time to go to Planned Parenthood or your local clinic and at least get an opinion and to be given options-and you still may have time! The longer you wait, the more time you lose. No matter what, you have options, and the people that work in those clinics want to help you deal with what has happened to you.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 01:40 PM

If you go through with adoption the agency center that you go through with help you. They would never let you be homeless. They want you to be OK. So being homeless is not going to happen. Just try to relax the best that you can. Too much stress is not good for you right now.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 05:33 PM

Sounds to me like you're still unsure whether or not you're pregnant. Have you taken a pregnancy test at all?


   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 2nd 2014, 07:02 PM

I am really sorry to hear that you are so scared and struggling so much.

First things first - Have you taken a pregnancy test? You need to do this first. Your body can actually shut down certain functions (especially your period) under cases of extreme stress, which could be happening here, because your body says "ok, you cannot have a baby right now" so it stops ovulating - you might not be pregnant. You need to confirm that you are, in fact, pregnant, before you make a decision.

Next, I want to know how many weeks it has been since your last period (or months) - 1 month, 2, 3? In Canada, you can get an abortion at any point during the pregnancy - however, most doctors are unwilling to perform one after 12 weeks because by then the fetus is to developed, and will only perform an abortion if it is a matter of life and death. If you are to far along, it might be to late to reasonably get an abortion.

However, there are services that can help you - Planned Parenthood can help with the procedure if need be, they might be able to help pay or set up some kind of credit system in which you can pay them back in amounts that work for you.

If you keep the baby, you can get adoption. There are counselling services that can help you with your mental stability and there are places you can go if your parents cut you out. Finally, many adoption services can help you out if you are in such a dire case that you are homeless, (ex. finding you a safe, stable place to live)




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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 3rd 2014, 01:06 AM

First thing is first: take a pregnancy test. If you are pregnant your results would certainly show by now. By not taking a pregnancy test and continuing to worry you are causing yourself a great deal of unnecessary anxiety. Take things one step at a time, and step one is actually confirming you are pregnant.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 3rd 2014, 02:52 AM

Hey there,

I agree with the above poster, the first thing you need to do is confirm that you are pregnant. You are causing yourself a lot of stress by wondering if you are pregnant of not. A pregnancy test would be able to tell you if you are pregnant or not and from there you can make a decision. If you are pregnant then I think you should definitely schedule something with planned parenthood to discuss your options. They will be able to tell you how far along you are and if you are able to have an abortion or not. They will also be able to discuss things like payment options and stuff like that.

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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 4th 2014, 03:10 PM

First, I would start with a test if possible. Without an exact time frame and what state you are in, the laws differ. The cost will also differ too but I think it usually is a lot more than just 200. Do they work with payment plans? I don't know. Some may consider a sliding scale. A lot of planned parenthood sites do not provide abortion onsite and instead pair with another clinic to provide services.


Sometimes mental health can come into the picture. Some providers have done an abortion based on the mother's mental health but it is not common.

Quote:
The conservative perspective (which sounds like an oxymoron, since I said conservatice) of Date of Viability is 24 weeks or six months. The earliest baby was born at 5 months, 1 week (or 21 weeks, 5 days) but that doesn't mean that's the latest point in which you can have an abortion. You can have one up to 23 weeks, otherwise you will have to wait it out. Have the OB/GYN ask routine questions, don't try to figure out conception yourself. They've studied for this stuff, and with the proper testing and scanning, they can tell you how far along you are... and whether or not you can have an abortion.
A baby born at 21 weeks isn't the same as a baby born full-term. Suggesting that it is unfair to the women. One reason why the US's infant mortality rate is so high is that they include very early preemies that survive for even a day into the vital statistics whereas other countries will not include them because it'll bump the infant death rate higher. Any baby born at 21 weeks would be in an intensive care unit possibly on a vent with an ng tube down to provide it with milk. Then there is increased risk for internal organ complications and infection. It's not a pretty picture. Any baby born early is at risk for developmental complications.
   
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December 4th 2014, 05:03 PM

The thing is, I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I just started putting on weight within the last two or three weeks. Nothing else has happened. Still not pregnancy symptoms. I want to take the test but if I take it alone, and the test comes out positive, I will certainly without a doubt lose myself and kill myself right then and there. I don't want anyone in my family to know and I don't want my friends to know. That's why I want to find out for sure at planned parenthood because someone will be there for me. A medical professional. Someone who will help me cope and stop me if I try to do anything. Is it possible if I take a lot of plan b pills, like over 10 or something will it kill the baby?

Or idk it might sound stupid but is there a way to take out the baby? Deliver it early or something.. and give it up for adoption? The thought of being pregnant and carrying a child I got from someone who tortured me for months scares me. I hate it. I would rather be dead.

Last edited by Lizzie; December 4th 2014 at 06:23 PM. Reason: merge consecutive posts
   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 4th 2014, 05:08 PM

Hi there,

No, taking 10 Plan-B pills will not be effective. Trying to force a delivery would also be ill-advised- many women face criminal charges for doing this, depending how far along the baby is.

How about going to Planned Parenthood and taking a test? This is their job- to help women going through similar situations. They will NOT judge you- they only want you to be okay!

There are so many reasons for needing to give up a baby, and you need to do what is responsible and best for you.

Let's not take ANY steps until you get your pregnancy test. Let's not grab the fire extinguisher unless we see the fire.

We're here for you.



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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 4th 2014, 06:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by crybaby View Post
The thing is, I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I just started putting on weight within the last two or three weeks. Nothing else has happened. Still not pregnancy symptoms. I want to take the test but if I take it alone, and the test comes out positive, I will certainly without a doubt lose myself and kill myself right then and there. I don't want anyone in my family to know and I don't want my friends to know. That's why I want to find out for sure at planned parenthood because someone will be there for me. A medical professional. Someone who will help me cope and stop me if I try to do anything. Is it possible if I take a lot of plan b pills, like over 10 or something will it kill the baby?

Or idk it might sound stupid but is there a way to take out the baby? Deliver it early or something.. and give it up for adoption? The thought of being pregnant and carrying a child I got from someone who tortured me for months scares me. I hate it. I would rather be dead.
I think you have a good plan and you should go to the clinic as soon as possible. You know yourself well enough that you want someone with you and that is completely normal.

No one will give you ten plan b pills, a lot of places require you to speak to a doctor and get a prescription. Some places just require you to speak to the pharmacists. Some places mandate you have an adult with you. It just depends on your location. No one will give you ten because it would make you violently ill. So that's not even a possibility you need to be thinking about.

You need to keep in mind, if you are passed the point of legally having an abortion if you do anything to intentionally harm the fetus and the baby ends up dying, you will be, without a doubt, facing murder charges. Besides being morally awful, it would ruin your life.

Your best plan, is like you said, to go to a clinic and talk to someone. They can help you through this. Just because you are pregnant does not mean that your life is over, or that you have to become a parent. They can help you with that. Just please don't do anything until you talk to them.


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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 4th 2014, 08:14 PM

Feticide, murder of a fetus, is a criminal offense.

We're not saying these things to give you more reasons to kill yourself. It would be a murder-suicide if you did it, so please don't. Go to Planned Parenthood and get help for yourself and the fetus. That fetus deserves a long, happy, and healthy life. So do you!
   
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Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 4th 2014, 10:11 PM

Hey there,

I know you are struggling with this because you really don't want to be pregnant and this pregnancy (if in fact you are) was forced on you. If you feel more comfortable go to Planned parenthood to find out the results then do that. When is your appointment with them scheduled. You need to get one scheduled as soon as possible so that the chances of you getting an abortion (which is what you want) are not limited even further.

You keep saying your mental health is not stable so is there anyway that you could try seeking counseling to deal with everything that has been going on? I know that might seem like the least of your problems at this point in time but if you had a counselor to help you deal with everything that has been going on you might end up feeling a tad bit better about things and they might be able to help give you support while you are dealing with things. And, it seems as though you are lacking in the support department at the moment.

If you need anything please feel free to message me and please get in with planned parenthood asap so you can get this all worked out.



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Post Re: Most likely pregnant... Really scared - December 7th 2014, 01:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by crybaby View Post
The thing is, I haven't taken a pregnancy test. I just started putting on weight within the last two or three weeks. Nothing else has happened. Still not pregnancy symptoms. I want to take the test but if I take it alone, and the test comes out positive, I will certainly without a doubt lose myself and kill myself right then and there. I don't want anyone in my family to know and I don't want my friends to know. That's why I want to find out for sure at planned parenthood because someone will be there for me. A medical professional. Someone who will help me cope and stop me if I try to do anything. Is it possible if I take a lot of plan b pills, like over 10 or something will it kill the baby?

Or idk it might sound stupid but is there a way to take out the baby? Deliver it early or something.. and give it up for adoption? The thought of being pregnant and carrying a child I got from someone who tortured me for months scares me. I hate it. I would rather be dead.
If you're really that worried, you need to go to your local Planned Parenthood. If you don't know where your local Planned Parenthood is at, you can find the nearest location on their website.


   
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