In need of assistance/:

[Burn]

Hey
I just found out im pregnant and I know getting an abortion is like, beyond everything i believe in. But from my point of view now it's the most logical thing to do. The father doesn't know and me and him aren't together anymore. I'm with my new boyfriend,who's also my ex, but that's along story. He wants me to get an abortion. The thing is i don't have any money for one and he said that we can save up or somthing to get enough. But theres this little spot in my brain telling me to not get one, and just have the baby. But i'm terrified, i mean, i am only 16. As the saying goes having a baby changes everything. And it would. But then again id have to tell my whole family..and there not the type who would take this well. I would ask my mom for an abortion, but knowing her..she wouldn't get me one. I really want one, but im still skeptical. I don't know what to do..

[off to a new life]

I think you really need to talk to someone. This is a huge decision to make and it could affect the rest of your life. If there is a planned parenthood or a similar organization in your area you could stop by and talk to someone there. If not, try talking with the school counsellor or even a teacher. The best thing about talking to these people is that they don't have biased opinions like your family or friends may have knowing you. You really need to make sure you are doing the right thing for you and that you are very sure about it.

[darkinnocenteyes]

Yeah, I would discuss things with some sort of professional because any way go go this will change your life forever...
Don't let anyone tell you what to do, do what your heart says, what you are prepared for, and what is best for the child... this is a super hard thing to deal with at 16 so I feel for you. Educate yourself on the options and then go from there...

[Pour the Teapot]

Have you considered adoption? That way, you wouldn't have to kill it but you wouldn't Have to be a teen mom. I think that might be a good option for you but it's your call. No one can make this decision but you.

[MisplacedDreamer]

What country do you live in? If you don't want to respond, it's ok. It's just easier to give some advice if I know what services may be offered and some general laws.

I know in the US, some providers won't even consider giving an abortion to someone who may have doubts out of fear of lawsuits. Another situation is that some states limit abortions to a certain amount of weeks and some require a guardian's signature or else the minor has to petition a judge.

Adoption is another option, but depending on your country's health care system, it's not cheap to get the proper care and assistance for delivery. There is something called medicaid in the US that would help pay for it if your family can't afford the services, but in the US you'd be considered a minor so your parents would be expected to contribute.

[Allons-y!]

Hey *hug*

I really think you should talk to your mum, or, if you absolutely can't, just talk to someone who is older. This is not something you should have to deal with on your own; you're sixteen, and pregnancy is not easy at any age. You need someone you can trust, and preferably someone who is not involved in the situation. Talking to your boyfriend is fine, but he knows as well as you do that if you have this baby, he will be affected, and that's going to bias what he wants you to do.

I can't say it enough; you shouldn't have to feel alone right now. You just shouldn't. You need someone to talk to.

IMO, there is nothing wrong with getting an abortion if it's what you want.

[delete]

Originally Posted by SuburbanTiger

Have you considered adoption? That way, you wouldn't have to kill it but you wouldn't Have to be a teen mom. I think that might be a good option for you but it's your call. No one can make this decision but you.

This post is kinda incorrect in my opinion. Saying "killing it" is saying that the fetus can feel pain and people don't always agree with that. Killing is also a harsh word, since this might make the OP feel unreasonably guilty for that. Personally, I do not think people should push their own views, and just give advice. I'm not picking on you, I'm just saying for future reference, try to refrain from referring to abortion in a murderous term.

OP- I'm sure if you go to a clinic or some sort of thing like planned parenthood, they would be willing to finance an abortion, since being 16 and pregnant, not in a stable fincancial, educational, or romantic situation isn't really a good environment for a baby. Plus, there are so many costs and Dr's appointments, stares, and everything involved with being a teen mom. Not to mention it can be potentially dangerous for your health. You would have to have prenatal viatamins also, even if you give the child up for adoption. Adoption can be hard, since you are giving the child to someone else, and many people have a hard time letting the baby go, and then you also have to get consent from the father, and release your parental rights. This decision is up to you, but remember that parenting is hard work you might not be ready for, and you have to do what is right for yourself, and for the fetus/child to ensure it has a wonderful life if you chose not to abort. Look into special women's clinics, since there are ways you can get reduced abortion costs, and abortion may be best in this situation. Be more careful next time, and good luck

[MisplacedDreamer]

If you are in the US, Planned Parenthood is not just an "abortion provider." I want to clarify that as some people have that misconception.

[Lost_InTheStars]

The most important thing to remember is that you need to make this decision for you. It shouldn't matter what your boyfreind wants you to do, or how your family will take it. Make your decision, decide what's right for you, then worry about the outside factors, like your family and the money.

[delete]

Originally Posted by MisplacedDreamer

If you are in the US, Planned Parenthood is not just an "abortion provider." I want to clarify that as some people have that misconception.

Of course it's not an abortion provider. I was stating that I'm sure they have resources and information for expecting teens, and information on various topics. Sorry for the the confusion.

[ashyxanarchy]

In my opinion, you shouldn't care so much about what your boyfriend wants to do with this baby. It's not his baby, if I understand correctly. And if you were to decide to have it, I don't think he would stick around to help you.

This is your child, your choice. I know you're young, but it's a very adult decision you'll have to make, whatever you decide to do.

Depending on where you live, there are different laws regarding abortions. Some states require your parents sign off on it. Others require a parent to be notified, and some, it's all your choice and no one has to know. Here's a list of the states & their requirements: http://parentingteens.about.com/od/t...rtion_laws.htm

Adoption is always admirable, but it's not easy. You could go through with the pregnancy, have the baby, and give someone else some joy. Here's some information on adoption: http://www.gravityteen.com/adoption/news.cfm

Good luck.

[appleberry]

My only advice is, take the time to make a decision that's right for YOU and the baby that's inside you. I know in the beginning of my pregnancy, I went back and forth between keeping my baby and adoption (I never could go through with an abortion). It took a lot of time and soul searching to come to a decision that would be right for both of us.

I know you may feel that your mom won't be supportive, but talking to her or to an adult you trust is really your best option. You have a decision to make, and a parent's (or parent-like) help can go a long way.

You're going to be okay, and you'll pull yourself through this.
With love, Nichole.