I'm not allowed to see my son...

[BrownSkittles]

I have 3 months old son. When he was born I tried giving him up for adoption so I gave him up to the hospital because I knew I couldn't give him the things he needed. I don't know how or why but CPS ended up calling the father asking him if he wanted to baby to go up for adoption.

So the father came to my city(he lives in a different city) and got our son(he had to take a paternity test first)

Now that I know that my son is in a better home I asked if i could see him. The father told me that I could never see him or look at pictures of him. But he has been sending pictures of my son to my friends and my friends told me that I'm not allowed to look at them because he said I couldn't.

He even sent me an email saying that my son was dead. I called my friend and asked if it was true and it wasn't. The father just wanted me to stop trying to be around our son.

My son was in the hospital for 3 days...i didn't know till 5 days after he got out...and it the fathers little brother who told me.

I was thinking about getting half custody...but I don't know how or anything about custody....

help?

[AmberS9109]

I think the best thing to do would be to contact CPS. There's no reason you can't see your son. You tried giving him up for adoption, yes, but a closed adoption was never agreed upon with anyone. If you need to, you might have to take the father to court.

[Singing to the starlight]

Depending on where you live. If you're in England contact the citizens advice bureau.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
On the phone is better with them as its easier to explain your situation.

[off to a new life]

It sounds like you didn't sign anything that would give away your parental rights, so you should be able to see your son. Definitely talk to CPS to start with. Hopefully this will be simple and once they know you want to see your baby and your boyfriend hears from them, everything will be okay. It could get ugly though and you might need a lawyer. It's usually good to take a custody battle to court, especially when one parent is acting stupid like your boyfriend is, because then you are protected from it happening again in the future. But start with talking to CPS and find out what is going on first.

[thebigmole]

If you do end up going to court, make sure you save that email he sent you. That should definitely help your case. I hope it all turns out well.

[Allons-y!]

Hey. You need to contact CPS, now. And you need to get a lawyer if at all possible. On TH, we don't know the exact details about your situation, so we can't always give you the most accurate and factual advice: we're coming from different countries and talking from different experiences. I'd hate for one of us to tell you something that didn't apply to your situation and have you end up making the wrong move because of it. So, please. Get a lawyer.

As Taylor said, make sure you save any emails or correspondence you have with the father or friends saying anything about your son, whether it's that you're not "allowed" to see him, or worse. While we can't give you precise legal advice, I can tell you that it is always a good idea to save whatever you can when you're dealing with something that may go to court.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Your best bet will be to get a lawyer. Lawyers are not cheap but it is your best bet. As your a minor, it may help in your favor and you may argue that you regretted your actions (you usually have something like three days to petition to get your son back.)

The situation is very sticky and I would begin looking at different lawyers in your area.

[Tara.]

Consequences of Relinquishment

Once the safe haven provider has notified the local child welfare department that an infant has been relinquished, the department assumes custody of the infant as an abandoned child. The department has responsibility for placing the infant, usually in a preadoptive home, and for petitioning the court for termination of the birth parent's parental rights. Before the baby is placed in a preadoptive home, 12 States require the department to request the local law enforcement agency to determine whether the baby has been reported as a missing child.17 In addition, four States (Illinois, Missouri, Utah, and Wyoming) require the department to check the putative father registry before a termination of parental rights petition can be filed.
Approximately 18 States have procedures in place for a parent to reclaim the infant, usually within a specified time period and before any petition to terminate parental rights has been granted.18 Five States (Louisiana, Missouri, Montana, South Dakota, and Tennessee) also have provisions for a nonrelinquishing father to petition for custody of the child. In 12 States and Puerto Rico, the act of surrendering an infant to a safe haven is presumed to be a relinquishment of parental rights to the child, and no further parental consent is required for the child's adoption.19

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwi.../safehaven.cfm

It kinda sounds like you've lost custody. I think there's only two ways you'll get to see the baby.

1. You wait til the child is an adult.

2. If you think the baby is being abused, report it and seek to get your custody returned.

[MisplacedDreamer]

You may still be able to get joint-custody, but you'd probably need a lawyer.