Planned Parenthood didn't realize...

[dejaentendu0]

I was supposed to have my medical abortion on Saturday. Me and Brandon went downtown and just wanted to get it done with - as this is a hard decision for both of us. After going in and filling out the paperwork, they told me there was a problem.
I'm a minor. And in Pennsylvania, you need atleast ONE parent's consent to have it done. It didn't go through their system that I am, in fact, under 18 until I was down there.
My mother doesn't support abortion. She won't consent. /: Even if she DID give me permission to go through with what I believe is the best option for us, she would need to come down with me. She works when they're open and can't get time off.
I feel stuck once again. /:
Geeze. I wish this was easier. I had myself prepared to go through with it on Saturday. Now I have to figure out how to do it at all.

[Tara.]

Do you know if his parents can provide consent?

[Singing to the starlight]

Wow that really sucks that a girl doesn't even have control over what happens in their own body. Does it have to be your parents or could it be his? Do you know if they ask for ID as proof that they're your parents?

[losing touch.]

if they don't ask for proof then just take a family friend, aunt, uncle, cousin or whatever and they can be your 'parent.'

[Imagine]

I'm sorry your in such a horrible position, and as i don't have any advice i hope things get straightened out. Take care.

[dejaentendu0]

Do you know if his parents can provide consent?

According to the Planned Parenthood I was at, it has to be MY parent. And my father is NOT an option to get consent from. He's barely in my life. /:

Wow that really sucks that a girl doesn't even have control over what happens in their own body. Does it have to be your parents or could it be his? Do you know if they ask for ID as proof that they're your parents?

I agree. I think if you are certain this is the best option for you and - especially if you're in a situation where the only parent you really have will not give you the consent you need, you should be able to decide this for yourself. /: It's not like she needs to handle the cost; it's our responsibility. We caused the child, it's ours, so it's our worry to pay for. They ask for ID. I know that for certain. Me and Brandon were asked for our ID three times and we didn't even leave the lobby.

There's no way I can fake a parent in this situation. They're strict on having IDs to get through and for confirmation. /:
This is so stressful for me. I was prepared for everything to be done with on Saturday and every day that goes by, it's harder for me. The longer I wait, the less options I have.
And I don't have the stability financially or mentally to keep the child.

[udontno]

Since you can't get your abortion done without her consent, then you are left with no other option but tell her. You need to talk to her about this pregnancy and tell her what you want to do. If she won't consent for your abortion (which would epicly suck) then you need to discuss other options, such as adoption or actually raising this child. Time is ticking, the earlier you start talking the more options you will have especially if she comes around to the idea of abortion.

[losing touch.]

so if your mum doesn't agree to sign the papers and come with you, you have no choice but to carry on with the pregnancy? that's ridiculous. you need to speak to your mum and arrange a time when she can come with you. if she's not fully supportive of the abortion then go through with her your reasoning. it sounds to me like you have your head screwed on. you know you can't support this baby and you know you can't go through the 9 months of carrying this baby. it's refreshing to see someone around my age with this maturity when it comes to pregnancy.. i know way too many girls who treat it as one big joke.
i hope you get this sorted out.

[Tara.]

Originally Posted by ultraaviolet

And I don't have the stability financially or mentally to keep the child.

Then if you can't get the consent, it sounds like adoptions is your best option.

[Singing to the starlight]

You can use adoption as a back up option but the fact is it does not need to go so far. I think the only thing you can do is perhaps look for somewhere else that will do a private abortion. A private doctors or someone.

[Tara.]

Have you tried going through a doctors office yet?

[MisplacedDreamer]

On my phone. Look up judicial bypass + abortion + PA. See what it says. ACLU link i posted earlier mentioned it.

Edit: Wifi is sketchy as I use signals that are being broadcasted unprotected into my house. It will be more stable tomorrow.

There is a method called judicial bypass. I should have double checked earlier to see Penn's laws. Basically you are going to have to petition a judge to get the right to an abortion. I am kinda irritated that PP didn't mention it, but they may be cautious because of bad stuff that happened years ago.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pps...s-pa-18389.htm

Private doctors will fall under the needing a judicial bypass requirement in PA or a custodial guardian's consent.

Edit: Ok, stable non-guarded wifi signals are back.

I should have probably mentioned it, I just assumed the site was out of date before. You can still have an abortion without your parents consent or even finding out, it's just harder. Why? I have no idea as the minor girl would be responsible for a future child's health if she carried to term and kept the child and most states would then make her capable of her own medical decisions because she has a dependent minor. It's really messed up.

I don't think you would have an issue for getting a judicial bypass as you know of the other options and have stated time and time again why those situations would not work for you. You also are aware of the possible risks and are already preparing for them. A decision also has to be made in 3 days since you file.

Brandon will not be able to attend the meeting though as it is limited to three or four people (you, your lawyer, judge, and judge's secretary.)

Here's another resource: http://www.womenslawproject.org/NewP...n_FamPlan.html.

I would contact Women's Law Project or Planned Parenthood and see if they can give you advice on getting a lawyer appointed to you.

[J&M's Mommy]

I am sorry this is happening to you, wishing you the best! x

[dejaentendu0]

I should have probably mentioned it, I just assumed the site was out of date before. You can still have an abortion without your parents consent or even finding out, it's just harder. Why? I have no idea as the minor girl would be responsible for a future child's health if she carried to term and kept the child and most states would then make her capable of her own medical decisions because she has a dependent minor. It's really messed up.

I don't think you would have an issue for getting a judicial bypass as you know of the other options and have stated time and time again why those situations would not work for you. You also are aware of the possible risks and are already preparing for them. A decision also has to be made in 3 days since you file.

Brandon will not be able to attend the meeting though as it is limited to three or four people (you, your lawyer, judge, and judge's secretary.)

Here's another resource: http://www.womenslawproject.org/NewP...n_FamPlan.html.

I would contact Women's Law Project or Planned Parenthood and see if they can give you advice on getting a lawyer appointed to you.

Thank you for this. I really wish Planned Parenthood would have told me this, instead of just telling me I need parental consent and telling me to go home. /:
I'm not sure if I'm being stupid for thinking that the law they have enforced is a bit ridiculous. I mean, I understand that I am a minor and my parents are legally responsible for me, but I also have a responsibility of my own now. And I know this is the best option for the time and the situation. I believe I had the right to know this instead of "Oh, we can't do it because you're 16. Go home." when I made it clear to them that my mother will not be giving me the consent - she refuses.

Especially since I'm strained on time. Aspiration abortion scares me beyond belief and every day, I'm losing the chance for a medical. I never thought I'd have to go to court for something like this. I just think I'm being ridiculous, but it bugs me nonetheless.

However, thank you very much. I guess that's the next step I'll have to take. I'll give them a call.
And thank you to everyone else for being so supportive and helping to me. I feel like a burden for all the questions I've been asking, but thank you. I've been getting so much negative feedback because of my age, so it's nice to have some sort of support.

[Eyes on Fire-Xx]

maybe you could give it up for adoption? in the u.s, if you have a baby and your a minor and dont want to keep it, you can leave it at a safe haven, like a hospital or plice department, you dont get in trouble and they dont even know who you are...then you dont have to raise it and someone gets a baby....

[BrokenHeart315]

Honey, I believe everyone has a right to their own opinion, but some of the stuff being said here scares me.
For one thing, a few people have said that it is 'unfair that you don't have control over what happens to your body.' Yes, you do. You could have controlled getting pregnant in the first place.
Another person said that she was 'glad that someone was being mature & having an abortion' because all the girls who let their children live were so immature.
I'm not getting into a battle about how abortion is immoral. I'm just saying it's time that some people need to face the consequences of opening their legs. You knew there was a possibility of getting pregnant. & if you are so determined to not sleep in the bed you made, maybe you should have waited until you were eighteen & could have an abortion without permission.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. But don't take the easy way out. Show the world you're mature enough to carry your child to term & let someone who is able to support it adopt it. You will feel better about this choice in the long run, & this way, your child can live.

[niente_]

Sorry to hear that. I think it's wrong that a parent should basically make that decision for you. It's your body and you deserve that choice. I hope it all works out okay.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Honey, I believe everyone has a right to their own opinion, but some of the stuff being said here scares me.
For one thing, a few people have said that it is 'unfair that you don't have control over what happens to your body.' Yes, you do. You could have controlled getting pregnant in the first place.
Another person said that she was 'glad that someone was being mature & having an abortion' because all the girls who let their children live were so immature.
I'm not getting into a battle about how abortion is immoral. I'm just saying it's time that some people need to face the consequences of opening their legs. You knew there was a possibility of getting pregnant. & if you are so determined to not sleep in the bed you made, maybe you should have waited until you were eighteen & could have an abortion without permission.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. But don't take the easy way out. Show the world you're mature enough to carry your child to term & let someone who is able to support it adopt it. You will feel better about this choice in the long run, & this way, your child can live.

Where did anyone say "glad that someone was being mature & having an abortion' because all the girls who let their children live were so immature." Don't put it into a quote if no one said it. It is paraphrasing or hearsay. No one said it in this thread except for you. And she is taking responsibility so don't try to pull that card. She has thought about her options, which you would know if you read her posts in her threads (over multiple ones), and has come to a conclusion that this is the best one. Honestly, it is pathetic that you are trying to imply she is not accepting the consequences. Not accepting the consequences would be hiding her pregnancy and dumping the kid into a garbage can. Despite your own opinion, getting an abortion is accepting consequences. Go make a thread in the Debate Forum, don't try to belittle people who are seeking support in a support thread. Sitting there and saying it is an "easy way out" shows you are either incapable or not willing to consider putting yourself in her shoes. Although, that kind of skill requires a higher thought that a lot of people don't acquire fully.

Ok, off my rant. I can only guess why they did not tell you about the judicial bypass. I would ask them about it now and I would consider calling the Women's Law Project to see if they can help you. Their web site was surprisingly helpful about Pennsylvania law (I live a state over so I am not that familiar with it.)

I agree the law is ridiculous and I don't think you are stupid for thinking so.

You can IM me if you have any questions or need support. Your situation is very tough and you need to do what is best in your situation. No one can experience your situation exactly and while they may tell you what they think you should do and until they can walk a mile in your shoes, it's not their place.

[dejaentendu0]

For one thing, a few people have said that it is 'unfair that you don't have contro over what happens to your body.' Yes, you do. You could have controlled getting pregnant in the first place Another person said that she was 'glad that someone was being mature & having an abortion' because all the girls who let their children live were so immature I'm not getting into a battle about how abortion is immoral. I'm just saying it's time that some people need to face the consequences of opening their legs. You knew there was a possibility of getting pregnant. & if you are so determined to not sleep in the bed you made, maybe you should have waited until you were eighteen & could have an abortion without permission I'm really sorry you're going through this. But don't take the easy way out. Show the world you're mature enough to carry your child to term & let someone who is able to support it adopt it. You will feel better about this choice in the long run, & this way, your child can live.

I appreciate your opinion. I DID have control over it. I fully understood that sex causes children and I am sixteen. However, I knew I wasn't prepared for a kid at the moment. I have a deep and serious relationship (although I hate saying that at my age) and we both decided it would bring us even closer than we already were. I was on birth control - one that obviously failed me. As soon as I found out about my situation, I accepted responsibility for it. I need to think about what's best for my baby and then what's best for me, as well. And abortion seems like the best option.
I don't think it's the 'easy way out' either. I find it's the hardest decision I'm making so far in my life and probably will remain the hardest. It's not just saying "Oh, damn. I fucked up. Oops." I definitely fell in love with my kid already and it's hard decide on and stick with. I wish I could support my kid, but there's no way of that.
I also thought the quotes from others were taken out of context and NOT meant to be read that way.
But I do appreciate opposite views of mine. They help me think about both sides.

I found out where I have to go to talk to the judge. They're closed right now, so I can't call and talk to them. Tomorrow, I guess.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Are you thinking of asking for a court-appointed attorney to help you file?

Show the world you're mature enough to carry your child to term & let someone who is able to support it adopt it. You will feel better about this choice in the long run, & this way, your child can live.

Honestly, if I said what I had written out a few times, I would be banned. So I'll leave a highly edited version of what I want to say.

Never tell someone that they will be happier about another choice, especially something as significant as this. This is a life changing decision and only they can know what is best for them. To try and tell them that if they choose another choice they will be happy is both disgusting and wrong. This situation is stressful. This situation is hard. No one can know what is best for a person, even if they are in similar situations. The only one who can possibly know what is best for a person is the person. Their world may be widely different from your own world. Maybe it is okay to tell a close personal friend that, but to tell someone on the Internet? No.

[Singing to the starlight]

Originally Posted by BrokenHeart315

Honey, I believe everyone has a right to their own opinion, but some of the stuff being said here scares me.
For one thing, a few people have said that it is 'unfair that you don't have control over what happens to your body.' Yes, you do. You could have controlled getting pregnant in the first place.
Another person said that she was 'glad that someone was being mature & having an abortion' because all the girls who let their children live were so immature.
I'm not getting into a battle about how abortion is immoral. I'm just saying it's time that some people need to face the consequences of opening their legs. You knew there was a possibility of getting pregnant. & if you are so determined to not sleep in the bed you made, maybe you should have waited until you were eighteen & could have an abortion without permission.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. But don't take the easy way out. Show the world you're mature enough to carry your child to term & let someone who is able to support it adopt it. You will feel better about this choice in the long run, & this way, your child can live.

This is your opinion. Other people have other opinions. We are all allowed our own opinions without imposing them on other people. The OP has made her decision and sounds like she's thought about it a lot. I think its our place to respect that instead of trying to change her mind.

[BrokenHeart315]

I'm sorry I judged you so quickly, but I was more annoyed at the comments others had made.
Misplaced Dreamer-I've been thru a lot of this with people at school, & everyone who got an abortion said that they'd regretted it. Most people do regret it. If you're one of the few people who wouldn't regret it, good for you. I probably should have said that in my experience, no one is happy when they choose abortion over life.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Originally Posted by BrokenHeart315

I'm sorry I judged you so quickly, but I was more annoyed at the comments others had made.
Misplaced Dreamer-I've been thru a lot of this with people at school, & everyone who got an abortion said that they'd regretted it. Most people do regret it. If you're one of the few people who wouldn't regret it, good for you. I probably should have said that in my experience, no one is happy when they choose abortion over life.

Personal stories do not constitute evidence. There is an entire web site devoted to stories from women who do not regret their abortions. I have volunteered as a student mentor who helped give information to other pregnant students about choices. I also volunteered and helped walk women to the clinics. Some regret, some don't. Some may regret later on. There is no way to tell.

No one expects a person to be happy that they had to have an abortion, but you still cannot guarantee that she will be happier with adoption. There are lots of people who regret giving their children up for adoption or resent raising their children. No choice is easy and no one can say which one a person will be happier as everyone is an individual. No one should be trying to encourage one choice over another simply because they think a person will be happier. It is an individual decision.

[dejaentendu0]

Are you thinking of asking for a court-appointed attorney to help you file?

Yes, yes, yes. We're low on income and I can't pay for an attorney myself. From what I read and was told by Planned Parenthood when I called about it, I file it and then just go in and explain that I thought of all my options throughly and I'm confident this is the one for me, but I am not being given consent. And that's that. Apparently, they just have to decide if you're mature enough to make this decision on your own/it's in your best interest.

I'm sorry I judged you so quickly, but I was more annoyed at the comments others had made.
Misplaced Dreamer-I've been thru a lot of this with people at school, & everyone who got an abortion said that they'd regretted it. Most people do regret it. If you're one of the few people who wouldn't regret it, good for you. I probably should have said that in my experience, no one is happy when they choose abortion over life.

It's perfectly fine. It was your opinion and there's nothing wrong with what you feel. Thank you for apologizing, nonetheless though. I know I won't be happy about my decision. It's not an easy thing to make and it's going to follow me around for the rest of my life. But I'm strongly certain that it's the best for the time and situation. It's a sad thing, but I think it's best.

[MisplacedDreamer]

If you can file tomorrow, then you would have a decision back by Friday at the latest so I would go as early as possible tomorrow in order to file it as soon as possible.

[Losing_Control]

I've been in this exact situation before, so I know how you're feeling right now. I live in Pennsylvania and I was 17 years old when I got pregnant. I went to Planned Parenthood, and the same thing happened to me. They told me that I was a minor and I would need parental consent. I asked about judicial bypass and they pretty much laughed in my face and said, "that could take weeks", which is totally untrue, but no one was willing to help me. I called every hotline I could find -- and no one was able to help me regarding judicial bypass. I ended up calling the courthouse and after leaving several voicemails I ended up giving up.

Because I was 17, I was of legal age to have an abortion in Delaware. So, I made the appointment and one Saturday I told my parents I had to work all day and I drove myself to Delaware. I also had a medical abortion.

Just as a piece of advice, make sure you eat several hours prior to taking the second set of pills. I ate just prior to taking the pills and ended up throwing up.

Anyways, I'm glad to hear you have the contact for judicial bypass. I'm sure everything will work out for you.

If for some reason judicial bypass doesn't work out for you, New Jersey, District of Columbia, and New York do not require parental permission to have an abortion.

Since you've found out you're pregnant, I'm sure you become connected to your baby -- even though you've probably tried not to. Just be prepared, there will be a grieving process involved. Having an abortion is not the easy way out, you will go through a grieving process. It will take a long time to come to accept your decision. I had my abortion over a year ago -- and some days it is still difficult. I think about my baby often.

Anyways, I hope everything works out for you. If you need anything, feel free to PM me.

[Geb12596]

could you possibly go to a clinic in a different state to get it done?

[Dana]

I just wanted to express my support to you for having the courage to make this difficult decision and my shock that such a law exists. It seems like a real catch 22 because some of the women most in need of abortions are underage and in bad home situations. I think at this point your best option is to find an abortion clinic out of state-- judicial bypass could take a while and you're depending on other people to help you out while the clock is ticking. If you or a friend can't drive, you might be able to by a train ticket out of state (depending on where you live, might only be a 1-2 hour train ride each way and not too expensive).

[Eyes on Fire-Xx]

you said whats best for your baby...i dont think that dieing is best for it...you wouldnt have to support it, you can leave it at the hospital and it will go to a family...you keep saying you cant support it and abortion is best, but if you have it and leave it at a safe haven, you dont raise it, the baby lives, and some couple get to have a baby....i dont mean to stirr up anything, just my 2 cents...

[thebigmole]

@BrokenHeart315 and @Weeping Angel I'm sorry but I believe that you are looking for the debate forum, which this is not. How dare you come on this thread and tell this girl that her decision is immoral or wrong. Obviously you haven't read her other posts because if you have you would see that she has thought very hard about this, and that this is a very hard decision for her and the LAST thing she needs is you two telling her that what she is doing is wrong. You are not in her situation, you are not her. You are welcome to have your opinions, but this thread is not the place for them.

@ultraaviolet I think it's great that you and the baby's father have really thought this through and are not letting any of these ridiculous obstacles you keep running into deter you from what you believe is the right choice. I think that that law is ridiculous, and I can't believe they didn't tell you about it before hand. As others have said I would suggest trying to go to a different state, because if you wait too long you won't be able to have the type of abortion you are comfortable with.

[Jen K]

I want to show my full support to you, Ultraaviolet. Being just barely older than you, even I can realize that you came to this decision after much thought and fact-checking.

While I am one that is against abortion, I am against it for my body, not others. The decision to abort or not should be given to each woman separately, not forced upon us all.

Originally Posted by Weeping Angel

you said whats best for your baby...i dont think that dieing is best for it...you wouldnt have to support it, you can leave it at the hospital and it will go to a family...you keep saying you cant support it and abortion is best, but if you have it and leave it at a safe haven, you dont raise it, the baby lives, and some couple get to have a baby....i dont mean to stirr up anything, just my 2 cents...

While my beliefs lead me one way, they also lead me another. For those that decide on abortion, I can understand that being the best choice for them and the baby. Carrying to term and placing the baby for adoption could mean it spends years in foster care or could end up in a home that is dangerous and unhealthy.

While it is not extremely likely to happen, those kind of things do. Aborting means that, while the child is no longer here, you know for sure that your child is safe and sound. If you believe it heaven, then you know your child is there. If not, then you know your child will never bare the pain of the world we live in and that can be so cruel at times.

[MisplacedDreamer]

Any updates?

[dejaentendu0]

Originally Posted by MisplacedDreamer

Any updates?

I wasn't free today. I had to babysit my niece for the majority of the day. But I have absolutely no plans tomorrow, so I'll be taking a train down to the court to fill out the petition. No real news other than that, so far. I have to be appointed a lawyer (although I don't see why one would be needed for such a non formal thing) and then I have to figure out what I'm actually going to say/try not to cry. /:

I left my phone over Brandon's last night, so me and him have no real communication at the moment. /: We were on facebook a little bit ago and all. It didn't really help me much though. I still feel crappy. I'll include a bit of conversation (put in spoiler, you can read if you want), since it shows how he's feeling about it for once - along with my feelings. I think it's the right decision for me, but it's been getting to me lately... It just sucks. I'm a wreck.

Spoiler:

Him: Well... Do it tomorrow then and I will stop yelling.
So on a more serious note... Do you think I'm being supportive of you in this? =\

Me: Meh. I think you have your moments, but overall, yes. /:

Him: What do you mean i have my moments? explain how i am and am not?

Me: I mean, I think you're trying to be supportive and you want to be involved. And I highly appreciate that. After all, I am only sixteen - I'm young, stressed, scared, and trying to break a huge life changing situation into simple steps and trying to find my way to the end. It hard - especially knowing that you're relatively alone in it. It's a huge thing and it's something that will affect my whole life and will hang over me and to do it alone just sucks. And it's hard when you're NOT okay with it.
As I already told you, your feelings and emotions in this are similar to mine in some way, but they are also very different. And I think you already know this, without me telling you. I think you're trying your best and you have been the most supportive person I have, but you have moments where you just are like "Do this." or you yell at me for something. And, yeah, I know it's important and I have to do it. I'm not okay with it, but I'll get around to it before I run out of time.

Him: I'm sorry if i seem pushy. It's just... You made your decision, and waiting is killing me... So i guess i just want you to get it over with so i don't have to keep thinking about the possibilities... but i am here for you every step of the way.

Me: There's no need to apologize. I understand we made OUR decision. And I strongly believe that it's the best one for the time and situation - although I'm not happy about it and I don't like the idea of doing it. And because I think it's the best option for me and whatever it would end up being, I will go through with it.
I don't like waiting either because every day, I think about it too and I get more attached. And I absolutely hate getting attached to things - especially when I know I can't keep the things I grow attached to. And I've come to the realization that just ridding myself of it won't make me not think of the possibilities. It's going to be on my mind every second - just like it is now - for a long time. I seriously look at myself at night and think about if I'm this much a of wreck already... what am I going to be like after it's done with? It's not like I can just be like "Oh, that's not what I wanted..." and go back. Once it's done, it's over and I have to live with it. That's incredibly hard for me.
But thank you for supporting me. /:

Him: I just want to fast forward to a time when we can both actually do this, and do it for real. I think about this every day as well. Every time i see you it only gets worse. you have no idea the turmoil my stomach is going through with this kind of stress... i feel like i'm going to die every day. every single one of my muscles ache like all hell because i havent slept in almost two weeks. im not saying it'll be much better once the abortion happens, but i do think the stress will be lessened when there is no more choice. or at least i hope... but i know it really wont get better... for either of us. not for a long long long long time.

[Lisa12354]

heyy..i'm sorry, but i don't agree with the whole abortion thing :3 i dunno if you've already gone through with it yet or not but yeah..atleast research it please..it's not as quick and easy as most people make it out to be..it will stay with u..mentally and physically there's lots of side affects..just make sure you REALLY do some research..'cause if you go through with it you're not just harming the baby you're potentially harming yourself..k?..and there's aways the option of adoption..like otehr people have stated..just be careful :3 it may be IN your body but it's not a part of your body..i don't think people really have the right to kill a baby..and that's what it is..not a piece of tissue and yadda yadda but it's a baby..peace doll

[Dana]

She didn't ask for advice about what choice she should make, she asked for advice on how to actually get it done (a very mature move on her part, since presumably she has few other resources). Ignoring the question and simply stating your own opinion is insensitive and rude. She has agonized about the consequences and simply reached the conclusion that is best for her.

Ultraaviolet, have you considered trying to go out of state for a day to get it done? That may be the fastest/easiest way to get it done, considering the court system. I REALLY think that would be a lot easier on everyone involved.

[thebigmole]

Originally Posted by Dana

She didn't ask for advice about what choice she should make, she asked for advice on how to actually get it done (a very mature move on her part, since presumably she has few other resources). Ignoring the question and simply stating your own opinion is insensitive and rude. She has agonized about the consequences and simply reached the conclusion that is best for her.

Thank you! It's obvious that these people haven't read any of the OP's original posts. And I personally find their posts rude and if they were directed towards me I would be really pissed.

Ultraaviolet, I think that it's great that you and the baby's father are continuing to talk this out throughout this entire process. I think that it's going to really help your relationship in the future.

[dejaentendu0]

Ultraaviolet, have you considered trying to go out of state for a day to get it done? That may be the fastest/easiest way to get it done, considering the court system. I REALLY think that would be a lot easier on everyone involved.

I can't drive by myself, legally. /:
However, I did mention to Brandon that both New York and New Jersey have no consent laws on the matter and we could just drive up and drive back down once it's over with. But he's really hoping that the court will be fast and we can do it that way. I think I'll still remind him of it, but if that's the way we need to go, then we need to do it relatively soon. I go back to school on the 24th and it will be a LOT harder to go visit a different state when I'm in school.

[Pandamonium]

I'm going to jump in and make a few points.

A) The OP is asking for advice and support on her CURRENT situation. This doesn't mean you personally will agree or that you will like what she's doing. If you can't respond in an appropriate and respectful manner, don't respond at all. There is not problem with offering alternatives but please be respectful when doing so.

B) This is NOT, I repeat, NOT a debate forum. If inner debate continues I will start deleting posts.

[MisplacedDreamer]

I think it's more highly recommended you have a lawyer look over the paperwork and help you to file it. I don't think it's required, but a single mistake could cost you your case. You might be able to get Brandon to get the paperwork for you, but I think you would have to be the one to request the attorney. The appointing an attorney is a different process so I am not sure how long it would take, but it shouldn't be long.

One thing to be concerned about is that I don't think Brandon can drive you legally without your parents permission over state's lines. I assume that is what you are referring to legally drive yourself. I don't know if your parents will become angry and try to press kidnapping charges on him or not. I also don't know if they can if they discover it happened after he had already brought you home again.

[dejaentendu0]

I think it's more highly recommended you have a lawyer look over the paperwork and help you to file it. I don't think it's required, but a single mistake could cost you your case. You might be able to get Brandon to get the paperwork for you, but I think you would have to be the one to request the attorney. The appointing an attorney is a different process so I am not sure how long it would take, but it shouldn't be long.

One thing to be concerned about is that I don't think Brandon can drive you legally without your parents permission over state's lines. I assume that is what you are referring to legally drive yourself. I don't know if your parents will become angry and try to press kidnapping charges on him or not. I also don't know if they can if they discover it happened after he had already brought you home again.

I might let them get me a lawyer then. I didn't think about how he can review what I filed to make sure it's how it's supposed to be. The only thing that's worrying me about the whole judicial bypass thing IS time. The more time I spend, the more attached I get. And that'll just make it harder for me when I finally can go through with it. /:

And driving across the state line no longer bothers my mother. A few months ago, I was surprised with a date to get cheese steaks... in Philadelphia. We crossed state lines quite a few times in going and spent the night in New Jersey. My mother wasn't angry, so I can't see why she'd be mad about a return visit. I mean, she joked about me getting her a cake from the Cake Boss next time I went, sooo.... :P