Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ellabelly Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
ellabelly's Avatar
Name: Ella Wisse
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Texas, USA

Posts: 49
Join Date: February 16th 2009

secret miscarriage - July 20th 2011, 06:14 AM

I was 17 when I had miscarriage. I was about 3 months along. I'm a lesbian and with the love of my life. She knows I use to be with guys, I'm raised Catholic so I was deep in the closet. I never told anyone I was pregnant much less that I lost him/her. I'm terrified to tell her. It was completely my fault it happened. I think about him/her every time pregnancy comes up; tv, radio, movies, talking about having our own kids some day, I'd be the one to carry.

It's been 3 years and I've never said it out loud not even to a therapist (I've had 3). I don't know if I can. I have selective mutism. I physically can't speak when I get to a certain level of scared.

What do I do? I know if I'm ever going to have a successful relationship I have to tell her. It's too big a part of my life not to.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Stargazed. Offline
Outside, huh?
Stargazed.'s Avatar

Posts: 3,532
Join Date: October 3rd 2010

Re: secret miscarriage - July 20th 2011, 10:56 AM

Hey Ella,
I didn't tell anyone about my miscarriage til months after it happened. It's a scary thing to go through alone.
I suggest talking to her about it even though you may be scared. Take your time with it.
Good luck.
Brit x
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
Proud Military Girlfriend
Jeez, get a life!
Harmony♥'s Avatar
Name: Shannon
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW!

Posts: 5,741
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: secret miscarriage - July 20th 2011, 04:12 PM

Hey Ella,

I went through what you did when I became pregnant at 16. I lost my baby during my 6th week of pregnancy, and it was one of the hardest times of my life. It's been 5 years since then, and I've since become more open about it.

In order to keep your relationship from having any secrets, you'll need to speak to her about it. Instead of telling her face to face, you can write a letter to her and have her read it. Or, you can just tell her straight out. You don't have to open up about every detail right away. It will take some time to be open about it. But, if you're thinking about having children in the future, this is one of the aspects that you need to open up about. It's not going to be easy, but, it does need to be done.

I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant

HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
  Send a message via AIM to Harmony♥  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Tigerlily. Offline
I can't get enough
Tigerlily.'s Avatar
Name: Cheye
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: Nevada

Posts: 2,054
Blog Entries: 27
Join Date: August 22nd 2010

Re: secret miscarriage - July 20th 2011, 11:44 PM

I myself haven't had to deal with the pain of a miscarriage and I wouldn't wish it on anybody either, but I am a select mute, I know how that can feel. It takes time but I think one of the best things for you would be to write a letter to her and hand it to her or leave it where you know she'll see it, or if that's even too forward for you, you can always make some kind of word document on the computer and write the letter there then leave it open for her to read and put at the top "-name here- please read this"

Being a select mute can be difficult, it's not like you want to be so scared you can't talk but it happens. The point is, with perseverance it will get better but until then, letters and notes can help so much.

Resident old person, back from much needed, multiple year hiatus.

HelpLINK Mentor(1/28/11)Live Help Operator(5/28/11)Social Networking Team(2/9/12)Rape and Abuse Forum Moderator(2/11/12)Articles Team(7/17/12)Sex and Puberty Forum Moderator(7/28/12)Fashion and Style Forum Moderator(9/23/12)Chat Mod(10/13/12)Buddy(11/18/12)
  Send a message via MSN to Tigerlily. Send a message via Yahoo to Tigerlily. Send a message via Skype™ to Tigerlily. 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Keysha Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Keysha's Avatar
Name: Keysha Burnley
Gender: Female
Location: U dont need to know

Posts: 27
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: July 21st 2011

Re: secret miscarriage - July 21st 2011, 03:54 AM

Ella You Just Take ur Time and tell whenever u are ready.
Closed Thread


lesbian, miscarriage, secret, telling the truth, terrified

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.