TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
pregnantandlost11's Avatar
 
Name: mike
Age: 30
Gender: female mostly used to feel somewhat like androgenous or something.

Posts: 11
Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Join Date: July 29th 2011

I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 02:27 AM

I'm 21 wks pregnant. I have been with my exbf for years. We were friends and then we dated. I did oral sex for him and he pressured me to do it again. And he made me have sex with him. I was intoxicated and he had just pinned me down. I had just taken despite I said no and blamed myself. Then he apologized and we were back to hanging getting high togeher going together. He violently raped me months later. I never came to his house. But I got pregnant from it. He told me that he's been molested by his step dad all this time and he has bipolar. He found out I'm having his baby. He wants me to give him another chance. He's the only who's supportive of me keeping it. I have my own issues with drugs we both do. I don't what do you think?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Coffee.'s Avatar
 
Name: Traci
Age: 31
Pronouns: she/her/hers

Posts: 7,405
Points: 95,373, Level: 44
Points: 95,373, Level: 44 Points: 95,373, Level: 44 Points: 95,373, Level: 44
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 02:40 AM

Let me first say I am very sorry for what has happened to you. Rape is hard enough to deal with, and I wish you luck for you and your unborn child.
This is obviously your own decision, since it is your life, your body, and your child. However, in my own opinion, I would forgive him because forgiveness helps yourself, and helps bring peace to your own soul, however, I would not date him nor would I trust him with my body or my child's body until he gets help. You had said he has problems with both drugs, a mental disorder, and the fact that he had been molested: He needs to be seeing a counselor before I would trust him with my child. He obviously has a past of violence, and I would not trust him until he can help himself.
However, like I said, it is your decision, and there is no right or wrong decision. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck for you and your baby!


something burning?
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
pregnantandlost11's Avatar
 
Name: mike
Age: 30
Gender: female mostly used to feel somewhat like androgenous or something.

Posts: 11
Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Join Date: July 29th 2011

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 03:02 AM

he has been actually getting help. I have a new bf and I would never dated him. More as our relationship as parents idk.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Coffee.'s Avatar
 
Name: Traci
Age: 31
Pronouns: she/her/hers

Posts: 7,405
Points: 95,373, Level: 44
Points: 95,373, Level: 44 Points: 95,373, Level: 44 Points: 95,373, Level: 44
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 03:05 AM

I think having a relationship as parents would be a mature, great decision. I'm very glad he's getting help, for the sake of you and your child.
PM me if you ever need more help.


something burning?
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Ambiance Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Ambiance's Avatar
 

Posts: 627
Points: 16,100, Level: 18
Points: 16,100, Level: 18 Points: 16,100, Level: 18 Points: 16,100, Level: 18
Join Date: August 27th 2009

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 03:59 AM

As great as all that therapy and change sounds for him, I don't think he sounds like a positive influence in your child's life.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Kitty. Offline
Member
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Kitty.'s Avatar
 
Name: Kitty
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,660
Points: 46,375, Level: 30
Points: 46,375, Level: 30 Points: 46,375, Level: 30 Points: 46,375, Level: 30
Join Date: January 23rd 2010

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 03:10 PM

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. The fact that he was molested is not an excuse for him raping you. You need to report him so that he can get the appropriate help.
It is in your best interest to forgive him. Refusing to forgive him will only hurt you in the long run. Forgiving him will also help you deal with what has happened. Forgiving him does not mean that you have to get back together with him. I don't think you should ever get back together with him. However, it is good to have a relationship as parents so that both of you can be in the child's life. I'm glad to hear that you have a new bf. I hope that he is supportive of you.
I'm here if you need anything.
PM me anytime.

Take care,
Kitty.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
pregnantandlost11's Avatar
 
Name: mike
Age: 30
Gender: female mostly used to feel somewhat like androgenous or something.

Posts: 11
Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13 Points: 7,959, Level: 13
Join Date: July 29th 2011

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 29th 2011, 04:42 PM

I know but what else can he do to show he's on the right path?

he was being raped while the acts of rape were happening I know it wasn't acceptablr.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Stargazed. Offline
I can't get enough
*********
 
Stargazed.'s Avatar
 

Posts: 2,633
Points: 37,460, Level: 27
Points: 37,460, Level: 27 Points: 37,460, Level: 27 Points: 37,460, Level: 27
Join Date: October 3rd 2010

Re: I was raped and and am pregnant should I forgive? - July 30th 2011, 12:42 AM

Being molested is absolutely no excuse to rape you. I really think you need to tell someone about this. However, I'm glad he's getting help for his own issues for the sake of your child. Just be careful and stay safe.
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
forgive, pregnant, raped

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Rob
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.