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Pregnancy and Childcare If you're pregnant, a young parent, or have questions related to either, ask them here!

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I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 08:32 AM

I don't know if I should tell the father or not..
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 01:32 PM

Why wouldn't you tell the father? My personal opinion is, unless he poses some sort of risk to you or your baby, I think he has a right to know.


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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 01:58 PM

I agree with Angel.

If he is no danger, then yes you should. He can choose on his own what he wants to do then.

Last edited by escape_thereal_world; August 22nd 2011 at 06:36 PM.
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 03:30 PM

Your choice. If you think he might not agree with your decisions, or be angry about it, I personally wouldn't tell him. But it's your decision to tell or not tell, keep or not, etc.
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 06:28 PM

I believe that, unless there is a history of violence or he poses some kind of threat to you or the baby, then he has a right to know that you are carrying his child.
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 06:43 PM

I agree with the others. Unless he poses a risk to you and the baby, he has a right to know. If he has been violent in the past, you don't have to tell him. But, he does have the right to know that he fathered a child. He could make his decision to be a part of the babies life then, or to back out.











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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 07:11 PM

While I agree with the others who posted before me, I'd like to ask why you don't want to tell the father? Are you just afraid of how he will react or is it something more than that?

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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 07:15 PM

If you don't tell him, then he won't have a chance to be in this child's life.

That might be fine for the first few years, but what about when the child goes to nursery and realises that they don't have a daddy like most of the other children?

Even if you substitute him with another male, when the child gets older they may want to track down their real father. How awkward is that going to be, when a teenager turns up on the door of this guy and says, "I believe you're my father"?

I think he deserves to know now. Not only will it save him from being shocked in years to come, but it will give this child the opportunity to have their father around. This will help you too, as bringing up a baby isn't cheap and he would be required to help you financially. After all, he helped make him/her.


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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 22nd 2011, 09:16 PM

My personal opinion is you should tell him about the baby. He has every right to know and he can pay up to his responsibilities even if he doesn't want to be a part of the child's life, he can pay child support. However, if he is a risk factor to you or your child, then definitely don't tell him.
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 23rd 2011, 11:28 AM

I agree with the others, that unless the father poses a threat to you or the baby then he has every right to know. He should be there to support you and your baby.


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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 23rd 2011, 01:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeve View Post
Your choice. If you think he might not agree with your decisions, or be angry about it, I personally wouldn't tell him. But it's your decision to tell or not tell, keep or not, etc.
It doesn't matter if he'd agree or disagree. He has a right to know. Unless he poses an immediate threat to the child, he NEEDS to know. If I impregnated a girl and she didn't tell me, I'd be furious.

The father has every right to make his own decision as to his involvement in the child's life. You both played an equal part in the pregnancy.


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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 23rd 2011, 02:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas_TGT View Post
It doesn't matter if he'd agree or disagree. He has a right to know. Unless he poses an immediate threat to the child, he NEEDS to know. If I impregnated a girl and she didn't tell me, I'd be furious.

The father has every right to make his own decision as to his involvement in the child's life. You both played an equal part in the pregnancy.
Personal opinion. I'm entitled to it, so are you. She asked for my advice, and yours, and everyone else's, but not for a debate.

(And why single me out? I wasn't the only one who said something along those lines.)
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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 23rd 2011, 04:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeve View Post
Personal opinion. I'm entitled to it, so are you. She asked for my advice, and yours, and everyone else's, but not for a debate.

(And why single me out? I wasn't the only one who said something along those lines.)
Yours happened to be the one I read. Nothing personal.

And there IS such a thing as right and wrong, especially in this case. The kid has a right to know his father, just as the father as a right to know his kid. Can you imagine what it would be like without your father ever being a part in your life in some way/shape/form? I know my life would be a lot different without mine.

AllTimeSierra, you NEED to tell him.

EDIT: Just read all the posts. You are the only one who said not to tell him if he'd disagree with her choice.


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Re: I need help. I am 16 and pregnant and I am deciding if I should tell the father - August 23rd 2011, 05:30 PM

Let's not break into a fight

She asked for opinions, you both gave yours. Let's move on now, yes?
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