my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion?

confusedkid1 · 03:59 AM

My ex and I broke up in February and she told me later she was pregnant. She wanted to keep it from me. Bad things have happened since for her like she just wants me to go away like if I try to claim it's mine she's getting an abortion her parents hate her choice in dating me. She has a new bf he is supposed to be the dad. He's a past senior last year he works in a business with his dad. They're engaged and it's only been a minimum of 2 months. Anyway if I try to have anything to do with it it ruins everything. I don't like abortion she knows that. So I feel like I'm being pushed out of this no matter what. She did say she cheated on me but I did the calculations her due date matches exactly up on the day we had sex. Right now it's something nice to think of I always wanted kids after all. But it's like I feel like I can't even be happy. Idk what to do. She'll use this against my absence anyway... What if he tries to adopt it? They're 18 they could be get married before it's born. And would I lose all rights as a father especially since I'm a lot younger? I have a lot family issues that they don't but me as a person I've done less wrong then they have. Advice??

Harmony♥ · **Re: my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion? -** April 4th 2012, 03:51 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

I know that this is a difficult time for you, and I don't want to be the one to say this, but I will. Abortion isn't an easy decision for anyone, and while you SHOULD have a say in what happens with the child, she doesn't want you to be involved, and ultimately, the decision lies in her hands. It's her body, and she can do what she wants with it.

Now, if you want to have rights as a father to the child, you could always take the situation to court. It's not going to be an easy process, since she can try to say that her fiance is the babies father, but of course, there are ways to prove that you ARE the father of the baby.

Again, I'm sorry to hear about everything, and I hope things get worked out for you.

confusedkid1 · **Re: my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion? -** April 4th 2012, 04:12 AM

but she's doing it just if I try to claim it's mine.She wants me to even send that I don't have any interest in being there for her just so she can use it against me in court. Like if I don't lose it to abortion and if I do everything she says I get my chances cut down to ever be a father it seems. Like my being absent during the pregnancy can really play a role in me haveing rights can't it?

Dr.Bobby · **Re: my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion? -** April 4th 2012, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by confusedkid1

but she's doing it just if I try to claim it's mine.She wants me to even send that I don't have any interest in being there for her just so she can use it against me in court. Like if I don't lose it to abortion and if I do everything she says I get my chances cut down to ever be a father it seems. Like my being absent during the pregnancy can really play a role in me haveing rights can't it?

Unfortunately, as a minor, you also don't have many rights, either.

This in't about you any more as you are no longer a part of her life. If she's made her choice, it sounds like you have to accept it. Try to let go of this and move on.

dani99 · **Re: my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion? -** April 4th 2012, 09:32 PM

I know it's hard for you and this is a sick and twisted thing she is doing. Maybe wait until later on in the pregnancy where it's illegal to abort the child and go to court about it? Or, wait until the baby is born and do a DNA test. Right now, you might need to back off a little or else the baby's life could be at risk. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, and I know you want to be there for your child. The most you can do is lay off a little, and wait until the baby is born. Then, go after her in court or with a DNA test. Then you'll have every right to that baby.

blumemusik♫ · **Re: my ex-gf is trying to threaten an abortion? -** April 5th 2012, 10:51 AM

Like others suggested - you can try to wait a bit longer, until she's far enough gone that she can't abort the baby. Then, if you need to take it to court, you can, and if they asked why you waited so long, you can explain how she was going to abort the child.

Being absent during the pregnancy may affect if you can have rights or not, but given the circumstances, it may work. If you don't back off a little, it may be possible that there won't be a baby at all.

Now, in all fairness, she may be bluffing. She might just want you to clear off, and thinks this is the best way to do it.

Unfortunately, at the moment you have no rights. I know here in England (though it may be different where you are?) the father of the child has no say in whether or not the child is aborted. I hate that law, but that's how it is.

Best of luck, and I hope things work out.