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Storyteller. February 7th 2014 05:28 AM

Shake the first time jitters
 
Shake the first time jitters
by Amy (Ronald Weasley)

Are you worried about your first time having sex? Are you nervous it will be awkward? That you might underperform? Fact: Everyone was nervous their first time. You're not alone.

Instead of worrying yourself with fantasies or about how the extravagant night will unfold, keep your plans simple. Be sure you know a time and place, as well as the type of birth control you will be using. If you and your significant other have already talked about sex and are ready for the next step, having a place where you won't be interrupted for a few hours will be beneficial. Worrying about a parent or sibling walking in can really ruin the mood of the night. Give yourself a good four hours (give or take a little) where you know you will be alone. You might be thinking four hours is a little long, but remember, you're not an expert yet and things will go wrong. Give yourself time to try again or explore options, rather than trying to rush through the process simply because your father is returning from work. Sexual intercourse can vary in length and be quite short, but foreplay can last a good hour. Depending on where you can find this alone time, your location might change. Be realistic for your first time. Having sex in a car isn't easy, or very romantic. Keep it simple and stick to a bed or couch. Having sex in the shower or bathtub takes practice as well, and won't be that passionate when you're still figuring everything out. You want to be sure you have enough space and visibility for your first time. Be sure you have prepared yourself with at least one type of contraception. It’s recommended that both the birth control pill and a condom are used in order to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infection (STI).

Now that a scene has been set, it’s time to begin the physical aspect of the night. Perhaps you’ve watched some pornography and imagine that your body is truly capable of any position in any place. This is most likely not the case. Your mind and body might have trouble working out the details as to what you can physically do. You might want to have sex standing up, but it might just be too hard for the first time. Listen to your body and let it take the lead. Focus on finding pleasure for the both of you. Sometimes your body simply won’t cooperate with what you’d like. Don’t worry: This will happen at times, but you can easily recover and try something else. Don’t let small roadblocks ruin the night. There is no such thing as ‘doing it right’. Having sex is an intimate and personal event shared between two people, so whatever way you find pleasurable and enjoyable for each other is the right way for you as a couple. Have patience with your partner: Remember that you’re both new to this. Having high expectations can cause more trouble and anxiety toward the whole situation.

Throughout intercourse, emotionally and physically, you will be experiencing a great deal of stimulus and sensation. For females, the physical aspect might cause pain and discomfort. This is normal. The vaginal corona in females consists of multiple membrane folds that are located about 1-2cm within the vagina. With penetration, some of the membrane might break or be stretched, which can cause both pain and bleeding. This is why it’s essential to communicate during sex and let your partner know how you’re feeling and what could make it more enjoyable for you. Try using lubrication to help ease the penis into the vaginal opening. If the vagina is too dry, it will become very irritated and hurt when the male begins to thrust. The male at this time might be worried about losing his erection, or finishing too quickly. Relax. The first time will never go according to plan no matter how many times you attempt tomake it perfect. If the female is in too much pain to continue, or if the male loses his erection, it’s okay. You can try having sex at another time. At this point, you could go back to oral sex or other sensual activities. Emotionally, intercourse can be very stimulating. You could have a variety of thoughts and feelings running through your body. Don’t ignore them: Listen to your body and mind and do what’s best for you. If you need to stop, stop. If you feel like crying, cry. Don’t hold anything in. Sex can be a big step in a relationship.

This leads to a very important reminder: You can say “no” or “stop” at any point during sex. Just because you initially agreed and consented to sex does not mean you must continue to participate in intercourse until your partner feels it’s over. You are always in control of yourself and have every right to stop. On the other side, if your partner says they need to stop, respect their wishes. A relationship is based on trust and understanding and must be upheld at all times. You don’t need to explain yourself if you need to stop right then, and you shouldn’t expect an explanation from your partner at the time. Sex can be very emotionally and physically draining. Offer your partner support and patience, rather than scorn and disappointment when intercourse needs to be stopped.

After sex, there can be a lot of emotions running wild as well as physical fatigue. Allow your body time to recuperate. Keep hydrated, eat well and rest. Emotionally, you might be worried or upset. Perhaps you are even feeling regret or a sense of loss. Anything you might be feeling is valid and normal. Talk about it with your partner, friends, siblings, parents, or anyone you trust. You have lost your virginity, which can be a very emotional process for some. Just remember that there are people to talk to if you’re feeling overwhelmed, confused, happy, sad, upset, or anything in between.

Unregistered July 3rd 2018 03:46 AM

Re: Shake the first time jitters
 
[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]thank you bruh[/size][/color][/font]


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