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Breaking Up
by MechanicGodCreation May 22nd 2009, 02:51 AM

Breaking Up
By: MechanicGodCreation and Katrina

In the midst of a breakup, we've all felt as though there is no one else out there who has ever experienced such heartbreak. You may feel as though life is forcing you to start over, but reassure yourself that in time, things will be okay - there are people out there who have been through this before and are willing to help.

Though breakups are often very difficult to deal with, time will may not heal you, but it will certainly help you to cope with the loss you are feeling. If nothing else, you will, on the bright side, now be able to say you're one step closer to finding your future spouse.

There are several things you might do when going through a breakup. Though these steps are not mandatory, they might help you to cope with the negative feelings you are currently experiencing.

In the very beginning of a serious breakup, you may be in denial about what has happened. You may not even believe you have broken up with someone or have been broken up with. You may expect for your partner to call you, and you may be asking yourself what might have happened if you had have done or said certain things differently. Though it will be difficult to accept the reality of your situation, please realize that denial is very common in the first steps of a breakup.

Don't be afraid to cry. There are many emotions you may feel at this point: anger, betrayal, hurt, panic, worry. Let out whatever may be on your mind, and cry to your heart's content. Crying is a healthy release of emotions and can often help you to let go of negative feelings previously bottled up inside.

Other means of releasing negative emotion may include but is not limited to:
  • Writing how you feel in a journal or notebook, then ripping out and ripping up the page.
  • Screaming or yelling into a pillow.
  • Hugging a teddy bear or other stuffed animal.
  • Throwing icecubes at a tree outside.
  • Having a pillow fight with the wall.
  • Heading to the gym to run, dance, or exercise.
In the first stages of a break up, you should try to do anything (that isn't self-destructive) that allows you to express your hurt and anger. If you need to, call a hotline or even a trusted friend who you can talk through your feelings with.

Take time for you. Do things YOU enjoy, eat your favourite foods, and watch your favourite movies or TV shows. This is a time in which you don't need to worry about anyone else, so take that energy and focus it back positively on yourself. Relaxing bubble baths and lots of sleep can sometimes help too. Give yourself time to cope and come to terms with the breakup. Though it may seem easier, try not push your feelings aside and assume you are over it.

The above stages take different amounts of time for different people, so don't worry if a friend or family member bounced back from a relationship more quickly than you currently are; everyone deals with breakups differently.

Try to find closure from this. Put away any belongings given to you by your ex or get rid of the things altogether. Though this will undoubtedly be a difficult, huge step, this will help you move on to a new chapter in your life. Another move you may want to make is somehow changing yourself a little bit for the better. For example, if you have any extra cash, buy a new outfit or get a new haircut. Make a change that lets you feel good about yourself, such as trying something you've always wanted to try but never have been able to. Take a risk and go for fresh start: get excited about this new part of your life!

Enjoy being single. Maybe you had a good time with your ex while it lasted, but that doesn't mean being single can't also be fun! One important thing to remember is that you should never use someone has a rebound to your old relationship. While it's fine to be flirty, don't try to take someone new into your life as a potential girlfriend or boyfriend just to fill the gap or void the ex has left behind. Whilst living this new single life, you could hang out with your friends or simply have a girls/guys night for a throwback of the time before you were dating your ex. Always remember that you have all the time in the world to find someone you love, so enjoy the time you have being single by relaxing with your friends or family!

Potentially restart your friendship with your ex. Because the bond you and your ex shared was so unique and different from any other relationship, this step may not apply to you. If you and your ex decide to be friends, you should first try to make sure you're fully over one another. Though many couples attempt to regain friendship after two or so weeks, it usually takes a bit longer to heal from your relationship before you can truly see an ex and not fall back in love with them. As such, be cautious of jealousy and recurring feelings. Both are common in post-breakup friendships and should be avoided as much as possible.

Last edited by Katrina; May 28th 2009 at 05:25 PM.
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