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Have the urge to self harm?
by Angel January 6th 2009, 10:09 PM

Have the urge to self harm?


So, I see people around here all the time with strong urges to self harm. Let's go over something. The best definition of urge, as in urge to self harm, that I can find, is an "Instinctive Impulse". That does not say, that an urge is when you need to self harm. You never ever need to self harm. Remember it's a want. Like wanting ice cream on a hot day, or hot cocoa when you come in from the cold. Though wanting ice cream and hot cocoa are easier to say no to than self harming, it doesn't mean you can't say no to self harming. In fact, if you get the urge to self harm, tell it out loud, NO. Yell it if it makes you feel better. You are in control of you. You are not going to let self harm take over you, you are so much bigger than it. Yeah yeah, some of you may disagree with that, but it's true.

So you have an urge? I want you to close your eyes, and just breath. Count to ten, or something to just relax your mind for a second. Now why do you want to do this? Why do you want hurt yourself? Did something trigger you? Is it just a random impulse? No matter what it is, you have to find the source of it. At the very least, stop to find the source of why before you make any rash decisions.

Okay, now think about how long it's been since you last self harmed. An hour? A day? A month? Years? No matter how long, you've gone times where you didn't self harm. Why didn't you? And no, I won't take "because I didn't want to self harm" for an answer. There had to be a reason. Can you use that reason now? If not, find a different reason. You don't want scars, you don't want people to find out, because then you'd be in control.

A lot of people self harm for the control in it. But think about how much more control you would have, to not self harm. I admire anyone who can resist the urge, even for a while. It's such a position of control to say no.

Now you've come up with why you want to self harm, why you haven't before, and why you shouldn't now. That's a really big step when you have any urge! So now you need to get the urge to go away. Sometimes finding the motivation is hard, but you can do it!

Find the list of alternatives and distractions here. Hopefully they'll help. Try them! Try one, or two or twenty, or make up your own! Whatever helps you.

Let me make one last thing clear. You have control over what you chose to do for the most part. You can say no to self harm, as you can say no to drugs and sex and all of that. You can say no to anything. So do it! And once you do it once, you'll see how in control you are. It's hard, but when you can say no, you're so far ahead. I've never met a person who couldn't say no, even though to do so does take a lot of effort.

You can do this!!


**Originally posted by Gidig

Last edited by Katrina; March 28th 2009 at 01:39 PM. Reason: Removing signature.
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