Just a phase? If not what to do?

[lmk]

So for the first 15 (and a half) years of my life I've been straight. Then I met this girl and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a crush for months but I finally had to accept that I really liked her. Since that first crush I've started to find myself attracted to girls in ways that I used to be attracted to boys. I haven't had any real crushes except that one girl but I have been attracted to other girls. I think I still find boys attractive but not as much as girls. So yeah i'm kind of wondering what the hell happened? I know that many people experiment with the other side especially as a teenager, but is this more than a phase? I am honestly so confused. I didn't think you could become gay after like 16 years? Anyhow if it is not just a phase and I really am lesbian I don't know what to do. I play hockey on all girls hockey teams, and I know that If I came out people would act super awkward around me and be creeped out. And probably would be mean to me about it. Also I am involved in a Christian group, where a ton of my friends are from, and they are all hard core christians who fully believe being gay is wrong, so I could never come out without losing so many good friends. So I don't know what to do. Please anyone had any experiences like this or any advice? Thanks so much I know this is a long post.

[Jaguar]

So many people have experiences like you that it's considered normal. I ran some polls a couple of years ago and of people who identify themselves as straight more than half the females and a little less than half the males reported having had a sexual encounter with someone of the same sex. I didn't poll this, but I'm sure many more crushed on someone of the same sex at one time or another. From those whom I've been able to interview, I've found that they nearly always had only the one partner of the same sex and moved on to be straight after that. HTH.

I wouldn't let someone else's interpretation of scripture bother me so much. There are gay Christians, and Christians who are accepting of gays, and those who are extremely intolerant to the extent their attitudes are flatly contradicted by Jesus' teachings. But I think it's premature to jump to defining yourself as gay since so many people have your experience. You may have this one experience and get married and have kids and be completely straight for the rest or your life. Or not. It's good to be accepting or yourself and of other people.

[bassclef]

A couple observations:

1. I don't believe you can "become" gay, but realizing it over time is very believable.

2. Coming out doesn't have to happen on a certain schedule. You can wait until you're ready, or until you're feeling more confident in explaining, or until you feel like keeping it a secret is harder than taking the risk, or until you're sure you've got plenty of supportive friends around you. I didn't come out until I was 18, and I didn't tell my parents until I was done with college and supporting myself.

3. If I had a friend whose friendship was conditional - if they'd only be my friend if I were straight - then I wouldn't consider them to be a very good friend. For two reasons: first, because my real friends love me for who I am, and second, because the kinds of people I want in my life are the kinds who aren't prejudiced. I would personally rather lose a friend than have to pretend to be someone I'm not to get that person to like me.

4. There are open-minded Christians. You know your friends and I don't, so I trust you know what you're talking about when you say they'd react badly, but I know plenty of people who have come to grips with both their sexuality and their religion and are surrounded by people of all faiths who love them as they are.