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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Mr_Awesome Offline
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Name: John Smith
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Unhappy Would Appreciate Any Feedback... - December 30th 2013, 04:23 AM

Alright, It's me again. This time to give you more of a honest and open truth, and some questions as well. First, I'll begin with what is going on:

I have recently joined the amazing life of high school, and I am enrolled in the IB program at my school. My Family consists of Me, Mom, Brother, Grandpa, Grandma, and other close relatives. The whole of my family are extremely homophobic and expect me to be married and have a girlfriend. Oh! I also forgot to mention the family friend who (maybe by coincidence) is a Pastor...So, I knew I was gay at around the age of ...7~12 ( Male). I ignored my feelings constantly telling myself that they would go away.At around 7 I was playfully browsing on the computer and found a certain website...(Yes, If your thinking what i'm thinking you are on the right track). Anyway, My mother found out and pulled me into the bathroom and interrogated the HELL out of me. Then, she hit the big question : Are you gay? Huh? Are you? I knew I was gay but, I thought it was wrong at the time. My answer was no. She doesn't know I who I am. On another instance I told her that kids at school were calling me gay. I told her this just to hint her about my sexuality, she was cool for 2 minutes and the exploded in a rage of anger. While on the phone she said suicidal things which made me feel bad. The funny part was that I didn't tell her I was gay. Me and my mom are close. My father left my mom when she was 7 Months pregnant with me. The only father figure in my life was my grandfather and he wasn't that involved.I was always into Beyonce, Hated Toy Cars and Loved to Hold Babies. I have been called gay all of my life. I just want to know; Will it be worth hurting my family's feelings if I come out? Should I come out? Should I pretend to be someone I am not? Will the world/god hate me?What should I watch out for? and lastly and most important to me. How do I love and accept myself with no remorse as to who I am, and how it will affect me in the future? ~X0X0X0X0

Sincerely, Mr_Awesome

P.S: I am 14 and scared out of my wits, someone, ANYONE, HELP!!! Also please feel free to ask questions.I will be glad to answer them.
   
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Re: Would Appreciate Any Feedback... - December 30th 2013, 04:36 AM

Hey there,

I just want to say that if you DO come out, make sure that you are going to be safe. I don't think you should have to pretend to be someone you aren't forever because you don't deserve to hide. You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin, not suppressed. That causes a lot of pressure. But, if you do come out, just make sure you are safe in your own home or have somewhere you'd be able to stay if not. It seems as if your family isn't that accepting, but would you be safe to be home if you told? If the answer is no, then it may be best to wait until a time where you will be safe or will have somewhere to go if not.

While you may encounter some others who won't be accepting, remember that the whole world won't hate you. There are people of every religion who accept people in the LGBT+ community, and even though you'll meet people who won't accept you, there will be loads who WILL accept you and WILL support you. Remember that not everyone needs to know your sexuality. Only tell those you feel comfortable telling. The whole world doesn't need to know.

I don't think God will hate you either. Personally, if He created all of you and is supposed to love and forgive everyone, he will forgive this and won't hate you at all.

I'm not sure what you mean by what should you watch out for? If you meant for people-wise, just make sure that if anyone ever puts you in a dangerous situation, report it. Otherwise, those who don't accept you simply aren't worth the time of day.

Accepting yourself is something that will take time, but I think that you will be able to with time.

Is there an LGBT+ club or group in your school or area? A lot of them keep it anonymous who is a member, so they won't tell your family. But, they can offer you a lot of support.

Remind yourself that this doesn't change who you are at all. This is a part of you, but this doesn't change your personality in any way. This doesn't change your goals and your ability to accomplish them. This doesn't change your positive attributes. This doesn't change the fact that people care about you and there will always BE people who realizes there is more to you than who you love.

As far as affecting your future, you still deserve to enter a romantic relationship with someone and I bet it will happen. You will still be able to get an education and a job if you wish, and you should be able to lead a relatively normal life.

You can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: Would Appreciate Any Feedback... - December 30th 2013, 05:16 AM

I sincerely appreciate the feedback. I do not think it is safe to come out now, but maybe in college or +? But, for now I am looking for people like you to give me a helping hand, and support so I don't feel horrible about who I am or what is a part of me. I fear many things, this is why I don't really share my feelings with others. I am willing to to help the LGBT+ community anyway I can, but first and foremost acceptance is key. Thank You! For your aid, I deeply appreciate it...
   
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