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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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emwilda Offline
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Question Girl questioning sexuality - October 9th 2016, 12:59 AM

So I am a 16 year old girl and I think I might be lesbian. I've never really had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've talked to boys over text and in person and everything but every time it gets close to something like a relationship it feels wrong to me and I back out. I've never been with a girl, so I've thought maybe I just haven't found the right guy. But it's been about 6 guys this has happened with over the course of four years. I live in a pretty conservative small town and I don't personally know any other lesbians that I can talk to. I just don't know what to do, I'd really love to have a relationship. It's just if I like a guy I should be excited and want to see them and hold hands and kiss and all that right? I just don't want to with any of the guys I've met. Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated.
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eeba Offline
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Re: Girl questioning sexuality - October 9th 2016, 04:18 PM

It's possible like you said that you just haven't found the right guy, but it's also possible that you are not attracted to guys in that way which is fine too. Do you feel attracted to girls/have you ever had a crush on a girl? Don't worry if you aren't sure yet, I think it will become clear to you in time.
You said you live in a conservative town, so I think it is quite possible that there are members of the LGBT community there who keep it to themselves because of that, you never know, have hope!!
I'm sorry I'm not very helpful, but feel free to PM me if you need to talk and I will always listen!
All the best.

"All will be well when the day is done"
-Peter, Paul and Mary <3
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Re: Girl questioning sexuality - October 10th 2016, 04:57 AM

Hey there,

It's entirely possible that you haven't found the right guy yet, but it's also possible that the right guy just isn't out there for you because you're just not interested in men. Living in a conservative town can make it more difficult to figure these things out, as any other members of the LGBTQ+ community might be keeping it to themselves.

I'm not sure how easy it is for you to go into a neighboring town, but you might want to check and see if there are any LGBTQ+ groups that meet in your community or one close by. Some places you might be able to find these are at colleges/universities or youth/community centers. If that isn't an option for you, you can also start looking online to see if there are any communities there that you can join to talk about this with other people who are going through the same thing. You've already found a great one by coming to TeenHelp, but I'd like to point out another forum recommended by our Resources page. It's called Empty Closets and is very similar in style to TeenHelp, with most of its members being LGBTQ+ individuals.

Life has a funny way of helping us figure these things out and I'm sure, as time goes on, you'll find a girl to try things out with or a guy that you think might be worth a shot. You're young and have plenty of time to work through the crazy, sometimes intimidating world that is human sexuality. Just try not to stress yourself out over finding a label or the answer right away. It will all fall into place.

If you want to talk about this more, feel free to shoot me a PM. I'd love to help you work through some of the things you're wondering about.

Take care,

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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