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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
kittysmiles Offline
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trying to recover from breakup but progressively gets worse - January 4th 2017, 02:39 AM

i had a girlfriend. she was my stars and my sky but for the sake of this let's call her x

we had a very smooth and healthy relationship, of course there were a few bumps in the road but we were very happy together

we were together for 7 months.

until she left me . she explained how her parents would kill her. and in the world we live in i guess it's reasonable.

we are still very close friends and everyone thinks we will be together again eventually

but ever since she left me i started self harming and my depression got worse

any advice?

(i can't tell parent about what happened, they seem homophobic)
   
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Re: trying to recover from breakup but progressively gets worse - January 5th 2017, 12:09 AM

Hey!

I'm sorry you're going through this right now, it sounds hard. It's awful that you and your girlfriend had to break up because of that.

I know that things are really hard for you right now, but keep in mind that you'll get over the breakup eventually. You can make things work without your girlfriend, and you still have her as a friend to support you. Not being with her most likely isn't the only cause of your depression, so you can get better without being in a relationship.

I know you said you can't talk to a parent because of homophobia, but you could consider telling them just about your depression and self harm. They would be able to get you help, and I don't think they would need to know about the relationship and breakup in order to do that. You could also talk to you school counselor, though they're required to tell your parents if they find out you're self harming.

You can also check out the list on the site of alternatives to self harm. That has a bunch of options you can try instead of hurting yourself, and it can be really useful.

Hope that helped! Shoot me a message if you want to talk more or if you have any questions, my inbox is always open.



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Ambedo. Offline
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Re: trying to recover from breakup but progressively gets worse - January 8th 2017, 04:10 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. There's no denying that breakups are incredibly painful. I know this isn't what you want to hear but, in all honesty, it's going to hurt for a while. But, in time, it will get better. It's possible that it just isn't the right time for the two of you to be together and that you'll be able to make things work in the future. But, even if things don't work out in the future with this particular girl, remember that there are other girls out there and you'll find someone who will be a perfect fit for you!

It's understandable that you don't feel like you can talk to your parents, especially if you think they might be homophobic. However, it is important that you talk to someone about what you're feeling. Perhaps you could confide in a friend, a trusted teacher, or your school counselor. Going through difficult times with someone on your side can make it a lot easier to handle while you're working through everything.

As a quick side note, if your ex truly feels that she is in danger, it might be wise to encourage her to reach out to an adult she trusts, such as a teacher, a coach, or a counselor. They'll be able to help her take the necessary steps to ensure her safety.

Keep your head up - it really will get better!

Take care,
Sammi


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she had a gypsy soul
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Re: trying to recover from breakup but progressively gets worse - January 13th 2017, 07:10 AM

I am sorry you are so severely depressed. Has this been going on for a while? I see you are 13. Has your life been stressful? Or have you get isolated for a long time, with difficulty finding friends?

You're entering what's been called the hardest years of life.

I could suggest look for a book called WRAP Wellness Recovery Action Plan.

Does depression run in your family? Is a parent an alcoholic or addicted?

Anyway for depression as severe as you have there are antidepressant medications any doctor can prescribe. Finding the one that works for you may take trying a lot of them out. I tried numerous ones and none of them really worked but I kept trying different ones until I found one that worked tremendously well for me. I slowly got better and now I'm fine. I still need to make sure I get enough socializing so I feel connected and not isolated.

There is hope you won't have to suffer like this forever. The brain can heal once it's given a chance and the right environment. Hopefully you can find someone who understands this stuff who knows how to be supportive.

And please keep us updated.
   
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