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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Question Questioning.... - April 9th 2019, 10:28 PM

I canít pin point when it started, but for awhile I been questioning my gender.

Now people Iíve tried to talk to about it have said itís a phase and idk maybe it is?

I also know that people experience gender dysphoria differently. So maybe what Iím feeling is the start of that? I mean I have said for years that if I could I would get surgery to make my chest flatter.

I also really canít talk to my family about this because they are very judge-mental.....idk I need advice or people to talk to, to figure this out


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Re: Questioning.... - April 10th 2019, 02:20 PM

You're quite right, not everyone experiences gender or gender dysphoria the same way. I have a friend who identifies as somewhere between non-binary trans, has had top surgery but wants to keep their vagina and still wears makeup but mostly dresses like an artsy guy. They don't fit into the "normal" stereotypes, and not all of us will and that's ok.

Have you done much research on this? I know that massively helped my friends who are trans or nonbinary. And I think trans is the identity we all know the most about, you might be non-binary or gender fluid. Sorry to say I don't know of many online resources, but the Harry Potter Alliance made beautiful resources for a transgender awareness campaign that might be helpful as a launching pad https://www.thehpalliance.org/protego and here this one too https://www.thehpalliance.org/success_stories_protego

Look, you don't have to do anything dramatic, just learn about gender, try to find online communities (e.g. on facebook) where you can meet other transfolks (or other gender non-conforming folks), meet people in your community if you can, start socially transitioning if you can (e.g. wearing more masculine clothing, or at least dumping the lace and pink if you're not into it, or cutting your hear if you want short hear).

Do you know who Ruby Rose is? She was in Orange is the New Black and she's sexy as hell but definitely not classically feminine and identifies as gender fluid. Look up Laverne Cox, she's transgender and very open about her experiences. Jazz Jennings, Amanda Stenberg, and Tyler Ford are some others.

I feel like seeing other peoples stories helps, so look up those people, hear/read their stories, and do other research. I think in time it'll come clear to you. It's a hard path to walk if you're doing something outside of the "norm" and there's no rule book, but I promise it can happen. I for one am pansexual and I was about 21 before I finally even accepted being bisexual. So just take you're time, figure it out, it'll be ok Message me if you need someone to talk to.
   
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Re: Questioning.... - April 30th 2019, 03:37 AM

First off, just acknowledging the feelings you have is the first step into making progress in any direction. I know it’s hard now, but recognizing those feelings is already setting your future self up for success!

I know you referenced that telling your family isnt an option, is there any friends you can tell? I know they can’t help when taking action, but they can help you talk out your feelings. It sounds like to me that you may only be questioning your feelings because others have put you down for what you believe for your own body. So maybe talking to a friend, or really anyone you trust, can help you decipher whether these feelings are what you think they are.

Have you also tried therapy? I’m not sure if your family would be accepting of it, but in the long run therapy can help a lot when dealing with gender identity and figuring out what you want for yourself. I’m not sure how old you are, but if therapy is an option in any way I think it would be highly beneficial. But I get it can be very expensive and if your family isn’t accepting, it can be very hard to reach out. In that case, know I am always here to talk and listen to what you have to say You can power through this!


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Re: Questioning.... - May 26th 2019, 05:48 AM

I think questioning gender is normal. Sometimes you find out if you're in the wrong body. And if you are in the right body,direction that's also okay. I've spent time questioning my gender. Dressing like boy and chopping my hair off to see what happens. Discovered Im not a boy.
Feel free to just play around with things. Different clothes or shorter hair. Take your time, you'll know soon enough. No one can tell you who you are except you.

It's probably a bit difficult to experiment if your family is judgemental.

Do your best to make yourself happy. Who knows? Maybe you are Transgender. Maybe not.



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