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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Jennaholt Offline
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It doesn't affect me - June 14th 2019, 04:19 AM

As an early teen, I thought it was wrong to be gay. But I quickly came to accept the that it's okay and was supportive of lbgtq.
A year later I realized I was bisexual. It was just something that had stayed with me for a really long time and I finally realized it. I didn't have a personal struggle with it as I'd fully accepted that being queer is natural long before I realized I was bi.
It's been around 6 years now. I've only told like 10 people. I don't particularly hide it but I also usually keep to myself so it's not very out in the open. I don't feel like I have to tell everyone because this is who I am and I don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone. So people not knowing about me doesn't affect me and since I never struggled with this/was never affected by this, I feel like I'm not a part of lgbtq.
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Re: It doesn't affect me - June 14th 2019, 11:27 PM

Hi, Jenna,

You definitely don't have to have struggled with your sexuality in order to be part of the LGBTQ community! In fact, I think your experience is becoming more and more common as being gay or bi becomes increasingly accepted. Depending on where you live, I think the coming out process can be harder or easier. I live in a state that's very liberal, and so LGBT individuals are generally not looked down upon, while in other areas there might be a lot more hostility. Similarly, some families are very easy to come out to, and others are a lot more resistant to the idea.

I don't think your experience is unusual for a 23-year-old. I am a couple years older than you and know a number of gay people, some of whom were out in high school, and many were and are quite comfortable with it. I have a gay aunt as well, and her partner was telling me that it's so much easier to be gay in this day and age (at least in our state) since other people are so much more open to it and educated about it. The more time passes, the easier and easier it seems to be come out, which is an awesome thing!

I, for one, am so happy that you haven't struggled with your sexuality and accept yourself as is! It's definitely not something you need to feel badly about! I think it's great that being LGBTQ is starting to be considered "normal" among our generation.

I hope this helps a bit!

All the best,
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Re: It doesn't affect me - June 18th 2019, 06:25 PM

I am kind of similar. I've only recently really become vocal with my sexuality. There isn't really a requirement that you have to struggle to be a member of the LGBT+ community though, and you also don't have to share it with everyone if you don't want to. Of course, if someone wants to share it with everyone or does struggle with it that's also valid, but it's definitely not a requirement. Do you identify as not heterosexual or not cis? Then you belong!

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Re: It doesn't affect me - July 15th 2019, 06:25 AM

Everyone's experience with discovering their sexual identity is different. The fact that you simply accepted who you are and didn't struggle with any negative feelings about it doesn't make you any less of a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

Personally, I struggled A LOT when I was first coming to terms with being a lesbian. My wife, on the other hand, just had a moment one day where she went "oh...I guess this is who I am" and carried on living her life with the only change being that she started dating girls instead of guys.

Everyone has a different story to tell. Everyone has different experiences. Sometimes, the more difficult ones are just the ones that are talked about more. At the end of the day, you identifying as bisexual is the only thing that matters and it is exactly what makes you a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
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Re: It doesn't affect me - August 13th 2019, 08:27 AM

Hi there,

I apologies for my late reply.

It's great to hear that you didn't struggle with your sexuality. I know a lot of people who have and others that are pretty open with it. I understand it can be difficult to 'come out' to families and friends for fear of being judged and criticized.

If you ever need anything, please feel free to inbox me.

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Re: It doesn't affect me - August 26th 2019, 05:28 AM

The amount you struggled (or didn't) in no way invalidates your sexuality. However, it is perfectly okay to be bisexual and not identify with the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. Your sexuality and expression of it is entirely your own business, but that doesn't make you insincere.
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