Decision

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

So, I have come to the conclusion that I am Lesbian.

This is probably the hardest thing I have ever come to terms with. I have always kind of known it but I denied it over and over again but now I am past that point and I want to embrace it.

This weekend the first real step I came to acknowledging it was by telling my dad and some of his friends that I like woman a lot (they are all gay as well so it felt safe). It was scary because I thought they would look down upon me or something but they didn't. Instead they embraced it and told me that when I turn 21 we are going to paint the town red.

Well, their acceptance really helped and I am glad I did it. The next step I want to take is to tell my friend about it. I already told him once but then IDK I kind of had other stuff to deal with and quit embracing it. My friend is very understanding of this and he is, I think, just waiting for me to come to him about it again. Problem is I don't know how to tell him. I don't know how to bring it up. Could anyone help with that?

Something else I want to do, maybe, is go to a LGBT youth meeting but I cannot seem to walk in. I thought about going all last friday but then I chickened out. I have gone to the meeting once before but then I quit going and now I am scared to just walk in again. Stupid I know.

I was thinking of asking my friend to go but I don't think he gets off work till 830 and the meeting ends then. I know I need to go to these meetings but I am scared shitless. I really really am.

The next problem I have is telling my family. I know I don't have to do that for a bit but I know the minute I tell them they are going to say that living with my dad tainted me (even though I have been struggling with this since I was at least 12). See, my dad came out of the closet a year ago and idk ever since then people have been acting weird towards him and I don't want them to blame him when this is something I have been struggling with for ages. It is almost like they will be minimizing my coming out.

Umm, I need people to talk to and I am going to work on finding people in real life but right now I just need some support from here.

I just idk I don't want to hate myself anymore and I think if I were able to come to terms with this I would be one step closer to really loving myself.

[greekchick]

PM me and we'll talk.

Just tell your friend hey i need to talk to you.....You don't need any flint to start that fire. And as far as the meeting, Just go!! Their job is to make you feel comfortable )). The great thing here is that your dad is fine with it, as long as you have support from his side, Don't be scared!!!