:-/

[FriendZoneMayor]

:-/ I think I might be a lesbian...
I've known I'm bi for a while, but as more time passes, I find I'm less attracted to guys and WAY more attracted to girls...
I'm not okay with this...
:-/

[Heartlines.]

Aww hun. I know exactly what you're feeling because I know for a fact i'm Bi, but I lean more towards girls. I know that it is super tough to be LGBT, but you just have to accept it...You can't change how you feel. And you're going to go through points in your life where your attraction to girls is stronger then your attraction to boy. And vice-versa. You're not expected to figure it all out right now. There is no rush.
PM me if you need me

[FriendZoneMayor]

:/ thanks... I just have issues with all of this cuz my whole life I've been taught to believe that gays are horrible people and I know my parents would kick me out if they found out...

[meganlzbth]

gays are not horrible...just horribly misunderstood...
i'm kinda going through the same thing...it is strange to change from one mindset to the total opposite.

don't think you're a horrible person for feeling the way you do. you can't really help it. the only advice i have is embrace who you are, you'll be happier than if you try to be something you're not. there's a lot of support groups and whatnot you can turn to, too, and i'm a good listener if you ever want to talk :]

don't worry too much about it, you're still pretty young. you have a lot of time to really figure out what you want

[Ryan1]

Unfortunately you don’t get to pick and chose your feeling. However this could be just a faze your going through, the reason for me saying that is simple you’re only 16. I don’t mean that in a bad way, although your hormones are changing and your sexual emotions are just craving a change. Just experiment with guys and girls see which you like more.

[FriendZoneMayor]

I've done stuff with guys and enjoyed it at the time (never past 2nd base), but everytime I think about that stuff it disgusts me a little bit more...

[Dorkzilla!]

Perhaps it disgusts you because you were not ready for it, even though you thought you were. I'm not saying this to offend you in any way, but that can happen. It happend with me. I lost my virginity at 14, and for many many years I was repulsed by men. I am a bisexual and for a long time I didn't want to touch men. But, I found a man who I can have a sexually healthy relationship with and I married him. You are only 16, and teenage years can be very confusing. I think you should wait a bit before you do anything else with anyone else, and instead of focusing on sexual relationships focus on emotional ones. By doing sexual acts so young sometimes you're not emotionally prepared for it, even if you are positive that's what you want. Things affect us in ways we never really realize.

So, maybe you are a lesbian, maybe you aren't. Right now, I'd focus on the emotional side of things when it comes to relationships. Try to have healthy relationships with guys WITHOUT sexual acts of any kind, and make sure you tell them you don't want to. By getting that sense of emotional security maybe then you'll feel more sexually attracted males.

But, if you find that you really cannot be with a man, then you need to accept that is how you are. There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian, contrary to your parents beliefs. Remember, what they believe was formed from their parents and an older society, so they may not see things the way the world sees them now. Also, religion is a big factor- you may want to go that route and see if it helps at all. Find the reasons why your particular religion does not accept homosexuality and see if you can understand it in that way.

If you ever want to talk about this more in depth, please feel free to PM me. I'm always available.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey,

Jess made some good points . I think that sometimes when we do sexual things that we were not ready for our body can react in a certain way. A way that allows it to ensure that we will not do it again.

I think forming emotional bonds with people is a very important thing because it can help with any romantic relationship you get into. For the longest time I have been wanting a relationship but I was always afraid because I didn't think I connected with people etc. Then, I started making friends and really forming bonds with them and I started realizing that I am good with people and I can connect. This has helped me realize that when a romantic relationship comes along I will be prepared.

So, I definitely suggest forming emotional bonds with people because it can help quite a bit.

Now, as for your sexuality, you do have lots of time to decide about it so please try not to stress. For so many years I let the thoughts about my sexuality consume me and it had a very negative effect on my life.

The best thing to do is to take it slowly and don't force yourself into making a decision. If you are bi or lesbian you will figure it out with time. Until then try to enjoy what life has to offer.

One thing you could consider doing is joining the GSA at your school or trying to find a support group in your area. It always helps to have people around who can truly understand what you are going through.

Here is a link that might help you find a support group in your area.

GLBT Near Me

Please hang in there and if you ever feel like chatting don't hesitate to pm me.

[FriendZoneMayor]

Thanks Jess, you have some really good points. And Jenna, I'm actually in my school's GSA, but I can never go to the meetings cuz I have show choir practices at the same time...
As for more healthy relationships, every guy I meet tends to just want sex from me right away and then ditches me as soon as I tell him no... Guys seem to think I'm easy or something... damn boobs...

[Imagine]

Don't worry about what others think.
I'm actually with you on this. I'm not so much attracted to guys anymore.
Probably because the only person i can see myself with is my girlfriend.
Just take time. Don't rush anything.
Things will fall into place.
PM me if you need.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey again ,

I think it is great that you are in GSA but given the fact that you cannot go to it do you think you could look into finding a support group near you? I know that would be scary to do because the people there might not be your classmates etc but it can be really helpful.

As for guys; some guys are like that but if you let them know what you will and will not do they will either respect that or leave. And, by friendships with guys I just met classmates and stuff. And, TBH, I misstated my point. I think before anyone can/should get into a relationship they should form really good emotional bonds with friends, male or female.

And, being able to form good emotional bonds with males might help you come to some type of decision about your sexuality. Maybe the reason you are having such strong thoughts toward woman is because of all the mistreatment you have received from boys in the past.

I know that I thought that the mistreatment I suffered at the hands of boys was the reason I liked girls. Then I formed friendships with guys and I knew that that wasn't it at all. The same thing might happen for you.

Because when you come to the realization that there are some guys out there that you trust you might come to the realization that those feelings were due to the fact that you felt a man wouldn't ever respect you. However, maybe forming close emotional bonds with a male will help open your eyes to the fact that woman are your thing

Either way, I swear it does not matter and in the end you will come to figure it out.

Please hang in there and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[greekchick]

Hey Hey,

Just thought I'd throw a thought out there, Bi is not that much different from being a lesbian, I mean imagine you are bi but end up with a girl, same thing. So It really wouldn't be much of a change, I think accepting the initial girl on girl attraction is the hardest part, just give it time.

Also, I TOTALLY understand, take the advice of these ppl though and don't be scared, It's your life you have to do what makes YOU happy, not the 'rents.