I kind of feel like I'm missing out.

[thisiscourtney]

I don't know if this goes here. I'm asexual... I think.

A few years ago, when I would date boys in middle school and freshman year, I realized that as soon as we were dating I would instantly want nothing to do with them. I mean, I would want to hang out, but they would want more, and I really felt like I couldn't give them that because I just felt wrong doing it. But I did think they were really cute, and I can still pick out boys I think are cute and really just have "faux" crushes on them. Crushes that truly will never be anything more. I don't think I'm gay, though. I can confidently say that I don't like boys, but I don't think I like girls either. Then again, I find many attractive. It's the same as boys, though. It took me so long to come to terms with this, and I still really don't think I'm there yet.

I think throughout our lives we're put under the impression that love is everything. At least I was. All those little quotes that people would put on their Myspace and all of the sappy romantic movies gave me this idea that the only thing we live for is love. I can tell my parents are expecting me to one day be married, and when I tell people I'm 99.9% sure I'm never getting married (unless it's for fun and one of those lame friend things: "If we're both not married by age 40..."), they laugh and ask, "Well then what are you gonna do when you're old and lonely?" That's the part that gets me. Once you get past going to college, getting married, and having kids, what the heck are you supposed to do, especially if you skip the getting married part? It's around this point in the argument going on in my head that I dislike myself, I dislike what I am, I'm mad that I can't be similar to most other people, and I feel like my life has no purpose. I feel like I'm going to be the old lady with tons of cats...

[That Sullen Piñata]

I totally know how you feel about being worried about missing out; I consider myself asexual with pretty much no interest in either sex/gender but right here and now it doesn't really get to me.
But when I think of the future, the distant future, it really begins to worry me... I'd hate to have to spend the largest portion of my life alone, if I'm honest, but I can't really see myself in any sort of romantic relationship, which sucks because I pretty much live for conversation =\

This probably hasn't really helped a great deal but hopefully it'll reassure you that you're not alone in feeling like this? x

[thisiscourtney]

Originally Posted by suziessoliloquy

I totally know how you feel about being worried about missing out; I consider myself asexual with pretty much no interest in either sex/gender but right here and now it doesn't really get to me.
But when I think of the future, the distant future, it really begins to worry me... I'd hate to have to spend the largest portion of my life alone, if I'm honest, but I can't really see myself in any sort of romantic relationship, which sucks because I pretty much live for conversation =\

This probably hasn't really helped a great deal but hopefully it'll reassure you that you're not alone in feeling like this? x

Yeah, I'm proud of who I am right now and I'm perfectly content not doing anything with anyone, but it does seem like a really huge chunk of my life will be extremely depressing and lonely. Sometimes I just wanna scream, "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LIKE SOMEONE?!"

But thanks. It really does help to know I'm not alone.

[That Sullen Piñata]

Well that's good (: Feel free to PM me at any time about stuff like that 'cause it's probably good to have someone who can relate...

Although no-one ever actually responds when anyone says "Feel free to PM me"... so I don't really know why I said that. Unless it's just me they don't reply to...

But I digress...

Anyway, as it stands, you're only sixteen (if your profile age is to be believed), so there's still time for something to develop (: Nothing is EVER really set in stone... x

[TeenSpirit]

You aren't alone. In fact I feel the very same way, with a few exceptions: 1. with guys I really have never been attracted to them. 2. with girls I find them attractive but have only been in love with one.
I feel the same way...I don't want to spend my life alone because I live for conversation, and everyone talks of love, yet I don't want to marry.
Just wanted to let you know someone else here understands you. (: