Female Advice Preferred: How does one find a lesbian partner?

[Imaginary]

Hello. I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. I'm also pretty lonely. I haven't told my parents, and I don't really want to until I meet someone and have some experience in any sort of romantic/sexual relationship. I leave the house about three times a week for scheduled activities, and my parents always know where I am. I don't have any friends apart from my interweb pals, and I am basically a hermit.

I am also fairly awkward and disturbed, so how does one not scare off a lesbian partner (or any partner for that matter)? My mother's friend is a gay man and he says there are some ways to tell if a man is gay (something about shoes and tapping); are there any distinguishing signs to signify lesbianism, just so I don't spastically flirt with a heterosexual/married womyn.... again?

Thanks a bunch of bananas!

[Celestial.]

Oh, gee, I'm in the same position! Sorry I can't help much. Just thought I'd let you know you're not alone. Let me know if you get any ideas lol.

[Maiden]

Are there any queer youth groups around in your area? Where do you live? Where I live, there is an organisation called 'Rainbow Youth' and they run youth groups for different aged groups and fun activites to do. That's how I meet people, mostly.

I met my current girlfriend on Bebo (it's like Facebook, if you don't know what it is), and she lived near me so we met up and ended up dating. You could always try that. There are lesbian dating sites around too.

Signs of lesbians... I really don't think there are any. You can go for stereotypes and look for butch women with short hair. But I'm not like that at all, and neither are most of the lesbians I know. I've got mid-length blonde hair and I'm not really much butch at all- I play sports and things but I also do dancing and like to wear skirts. My gf has long blonde hair and is similar. I think the younger generation especially aren't conforming to the stereotypes much at all. In the past, I think, you had to be butch to be lesbian or else other people wouldn't know but now, there are all these groups and places where you can meet people, so you can just be yourself.

Not scaring off a lesbian partner is the same as not scaring off a normal person. We're not a different species, haha!

[Imaginary]

Originally Posted by Maiden

Not scaring off a lesbian partner is the same as not scaring off a normal person. We're not a different species, haha!

Hence I said "so how does one not scare off a lesbian partner (or any partner for that matter)?" I tend to scare off most people, but I just wanted to tie in the lesbian-looking with social charms. Didn't mean to offend.

I'm in the market for some friends as well; I've seen them on the telly and I thought that getting some would be nice. Though of course I've also seen people use drugs on television, so maybe I should be wary.

Where was I? Oh, right! There is a place in my town for "queer teens" but even if I were to sneak out of the house, how would one proposition someone for a date, or outing, or... something of the like?

[aranel05]

Originally Posted by Imaginary

Hence I said "so how does one not scare off a lesbian partner (or any partner for that matter)?" I tend to scare off most people, but I just wanted to tie in the lesbian-looking with social charms. Didn't mean to offend.

I'm in the market for some friends as well; I've seen them on the telly and I thought that getting some would be nice. Though of course I've also seen people use drugs on television, so maybe I should be wary.

Where was I? Oh, right! There is a place in my town for "queer teens" but even if I were to sneak out of the house, how would one proposition someone for a date, or outing, or... something of the like?

Just get to know them and become friendly with them. When you are comfortable with each other ask her if she wants to go to a movie or something. The girl I'm starting to date now found out I was playing in a concert and came and brought flowers. You could do something like that?

Also, don't be too wary about people using drugs from the television. Although some people do use drugs, I would say that the majority of people don't. TV tends to be an exaggeration of real life.

Good luck!

[Maiden]

You just start by getting to know people, finding out things about them, hanging out. You can casually mention that there's a movie you've been wanting to see and would they like to come... Or ask if they want to get coffee another time... Just becoming friends first might be the best way to go, and see what happens from there

[Algernon]

How old are you?

If you're older, I would join some kind of dating site. It seems like wherever someone lives, gays don't come out very ofte. So I'd think that if you joined a dating site you could fine other lesbians. But be careful! Always!

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

I would actually suggest looking into a support group. You can meet friends there and meet people who know where all the events are taking place. From experience other gay people know where a lot of the good gay events are. The events where a person can go and converse and meet people.

I am going to give you a link that might be able to help you find a support group in your area.

GLBT Near Me

Also, if you want type in something like Gay ________ (Name of the city or state you live in). Sometimes websites specifically centered for the gay community will pop up. This might help you find 1) Support groups in your area 2) Clubs/events in your area.

I know that is what I did and it was pretty cool. I learned about all the gay bars in my area and I learned of an event that happens every Wednesday and is centered on 18+.

Hope this helped and if you need anything else feel free to pm me.

Jenna

[Kayla200]

So I may be able to help a lil considering that im bi so I know what your going threw lol so ive found that around my area and people I know and from haveing an experiance dateing a girl a wile back some of the signs are.....girls who are be bi or lesbieans tend to look at girls like up down and what not if you know what I mean lol we well sometimes get along more with guys and can relate to guys more we sometimes wear cloths like that say I love girls lol I actually have a shirt that says that um...most people are open about it at least in my town because here no one cares were usually all friends lol um if you have any questions at all feel free to pm me hope I helped a lil
~Kayla~

[ILoveMayonnaise]

maybe craigslist?? like post a message pr whatever. also try going in bookstores i met my bf in one beucase of TWILIGHT!!!


alsoooo go into Hot topic lots of lesbians and bis shopp there