How do I get my mom to let me see her?

[Raylolo]

For a little bit over 7 months now I haven't been able to see my girlfriend. First, it was a mutual decision between both of our parents. Then my girlfriends probabtion banned us to contact each other for a while. Now, probation has been allowing us 100% contact AND the right to see each other again for about the past two months. However, my mother simply won't allow it.

You see, my girlfriend is 20 and I am 16. She highly dislikes the age difference. And although me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and 2 months now, we can't seem to get my mother to understand the love we share for each other. And if she does understand it, she still will not get over her opinion of age mattering.

Now, I am aware of the age of consent law. I'm in New York, so that means I can't have sex until I'm 17. However, there is no law stating that a 16 year old can not date a 20 year old. It's perfectly legal as long as there is no sex involved.

The problem is, although we are allowed to see each other now, my mother won't budge. She refuses to allow me and my girlfriend to see each other. Right now me and my girlfriend are in the process of trying to figure out what's allowed and what isn't according to probation...like if we can even hug, hold hands, kiss, etc. Last I knew, it was no physical contact. However, my girlfriend said she'll find out soon.

I'm really scared to bring up the fact to my mother that me and my girlfriend have been absolutely miserable for the fact she won't allow us to see each other. I really want to be able to convince her to allow me and my girlfriend to see each other, but I have no idea how to go about bringing it up or asking her without making her mad.

My mother could turn around and call probation and tell them not to allow us to contact each other at any moment. Now, I do not think she would if she wasn't given a reason, but what if asking her to see my girlfriend is all the reason she needs? What if she gets mad and says "well, if talking to her isn't enough then you won't talk to her at all"?

My mother is strict with age difference. She always has been. I'm not trying to change her opinion, I just want to be able to see my girlfriend. I want to be happy again...and I want my girlfriend to be happy. I'm sick of I and my girlfriend sitting here day by day in misery just waiting for me to be 17 when my mother nor the law can say or do anything to ruin our relationship.

I know this is a really strong topic and it is a difficult topic as well, but please if you have any advice tell me. In fact, if you have any comments at all about this, please tell me. Everything counts and even if you think what you have to say isn't important, I'm sure that it is! Thank you so much in advance!!!

[topov]

I have no idea what to say in relation to trying to convince your mom to let you see your girlfriend...
But I really hope your birthdays not to far away, so you can get away from all the stupid stuff going on and have a happy normal relationship.
Personally I dont think a 16 - 20 age gap is that big a deal, in fact I don't see it as any deal, but unfortunatly you cant argue with the law.

I wish you and your gf all the best, and hope your mother isn't to harsh and lets you spend at least a little time together.

[Raylolo]

Originally Posted by topov

I have no idea what to say in relation to trying to convince your mom to let you see your girlfriend...
But I really hope your birthdays not to far away, so you can get away from all the stupid stuff going on and have a happy normal relationship.
Personally I dont think a 16 - 20 age gap is that big a deal, in fact I don't see it as any deal, but unfortunatly you cant argue with the law.

I wish you and your gf all the best, and hope your mother isn't to harsh and lets you spend at least a little time together.

Most people don't seem to have a problem with the age gap. It just seems to be the adults who have a problem with it. Perhaps it's the generation they were born in or something...I do not know, but it seems they really care about age differences in realtionships.

My birthday is November 30th...8 months and 28 days. It's a long, yet short wait if you think about it while thinking that the average life span is 80 or more years.

Thank you for posting. =)