The "Gaydar" question

[DamagedKnight]

Ok so I know we have all had this issue before. We begin like a guy/girl but we don't know weather or not they are gay or straight! Last year I had a crush like this and when I finally opened up to him crap hit the fan and he tore me to pieces. It was terrible but now I'm starting to like another guy who is if not just as but even more confusing!

This new guy, does come off as a little bit gay but yet he talks about tons of normal guy stuff and does not have "the gay accent". This confused me a little but the huge thing was that when he found out that I liked him (a friend let it slip) his reaction was: "Travis likes me!?!?!? *walks away looking deeply in thought*" I had no idea she even told him for two weeks until she finally told me! That's how good he was at hiding his reaction, if anything I felt as if we were growing closer because he was asking for my help in class more and we kept making eye contact. This was a few months ago, but now whenever he tries to talk to me I can't hold eye contact because I'm just so confused I don't want to make a wrong move and get hurt like last time. I don't know what to do and I'm so confused so let's ask the question that tons of people have:

How do you tell if a guy/girl that you are attracted to is gay/straight if you are too shy or scared to flat out ask them.

[Maiden]

To be honest, I have no freakin' idea, and I have the exact same problem as you. It'd be a lot easier if people learnt to just say 'sorry, I'm straight', instead of getting agro if you try to make a move. It is very frustrating.

Perhaps you could ask the friend you mentioned to ask this guy if he's gay... I don't know? Would that be useful? Because honestly, unless someone's going around wearing a sign, you can never really tell. Some of the people I've been convinced were gay turned out to be straight, and some of the people I've been convinced were straight turned out to be gay...

[bitesize]

Goddd....I hate it. It's especially annoying for girls because a lot of girls tend to be automatically more affectionate and touchy-feeley and complimenty ANYWAY.... it's so ahrd to tell if they're being flirtatious or just....friendly people. You could ask around a bit, or try and find some of his romantic history..?? Gurr, i wish people wore signs

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

This is definitely a hard question to answer. 'Gaydar' doesn't necessarily work. I think it exists but I think it is never 100% accurate, obviously.

Giving an example, there were these two guys that came into my local hangout. My Gaydar didn't go off but they were hanging around gay guys and looking up some gay thing on the iphone. So, I automatically assumed they were gay. Anyways, a day or so later I found out that they were not gay. Kind of disappointing given the fact that one of them was really cute and sitting really close to me....

Another example, I know this person, he is gay but you would never know it. My 'gaydar' didn't go off with me the first time I met him. The only reason I figured out he was gay was because someone told me.

So, I guess 'gaydar' really sucks! And, can get us into trouble.

Anyways, the best advice I can give you is to talk to him or have your friend talk to him. If he already knows that you like him what is the worse that can happen? You could just casually bring it up. Say something like "So, I know that _____________ told you I like you and I wanted to know how you felt about it. It doesn't make you feel awkward or anything does it..."

That might open things up.

Also, like I said, you could ask your friend to do it again. Maybe ask her to broach the subject with him again.

In the end, there is no definite way you are going to find out who is gay and who isn't. You definitely need to be careful when it comes to asking someone out or what not but in the end sometimes you have to just go for it.

Best of luck,

Jenna

[Pine]

Like some people having stronger senses, I think some people have stronger "gaydars". My girlfriend's cousin seems to have a really strong one, though she's not too sure about this one girl.

I think I may be giving off some vibes to other people though. o_e This one girl I get slight vibes from is always asking me about homework, and always being around me. I don't know if she's just friendly,or no. xD;

But yeah, I think it depends. :3 Some people just don't...seem to have gaydars. And I think one of those people are me.

[DeadlySin]

Eh this is really hard and there is no straight answer.
Unless you ask them or a friend directly.
They may "put out" and give off a "vibe" to being gay or lesbian etc.
But it doesn't always mean they are.
So really there is no way to tell...unless you ask. =/