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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Pretty sure I'm a lesbian; mother is pissed - March 23rd 2010, 09:38 AM

I told my mother I was a lesbian. I figured it was the best/only time to tell her because she's never without my step-dad, and this was the only time she wasn't yelling and breaking things. I didn't really want to tell her but... well, let me give you some background.

I am really mentally messed in someway or another. I'm just getting used to the idea of going outside. I want to live my life because although I've always been aware of how short it is, I want to try to do something cool before I kick the bucket (so not too many thoughts of suicide anymore; yay!). I'm trying to get better.

But it's hard. I don't leave the house except for hour long schedulalded activities three times a week, and sometimes that's even too much for me. In short, I want to take baby steps! But everytime I'm around my mother, she always yells at me to get a job or go back to school, which I just can't do right now because that'll kill me. She wants me to have friends, but doesn't want me hanging around a bunch of "fags"; even though one of her best friends is gay, she's incredibly homophobic. Hell knows what would happen if I brought home a non-white girlfriend; she's jam a fork into my throat.

I told her I wasn't a big happy hetreo because I need her assistance to get out of the house. I can't find my way around without her, and she knows that. There is a gay group in our town that I've already gone to with the help of my awesome fucking grandma, and I think I might be a friendly like persun there. Apart from my therapist and my mother, the only other persun I've told face to face is my grandmother, who is a fucking superwomyn.

My mother wants me to be a normal teenager like she was; dress like a stripper, squeal over boys, stop being a vegan and worry about my weight... stop "looking like a freak" (I dress a bit... quirky), stop being a feminist, stop giving a shit about other people, go back to school, get a job, stop being smarter than a crushed rock and her, blah blah blah.

I've almost never been in a relationship with anyone, I've had very few sexy times which I'm not telling my mother about because it's none of her fucking business, so she keeps saying that I'm confused and shit. She keeps thinking I've been looking at porn which pisses me off; with all the abuse that goes on in porn, she thinks I'd watch it? To be honest, my thoughts that are not harmful are not her bloody business and it pisses me off when she thinks they are. I wish she'd be happier for me than acting as though I'm ruining her life. News flash! It's not about her.

I say I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian, because although I am only attracted to girls, it just makes me sad that I have to put that label on myself. I wish it wasn't a big deal, that I could love a womyn and it been seen as a beautiful heart-warming thing. I know that being a lesbian is going to come with a lot of bullshit oppression, but I'm so lonely, I don't want to hide in my room anymore. I want to go out and meet someone who doesn't hate me and try to change me all the time.

Sorry, I know this is a rant. I'm just wondering how to make her stop being such a dick about everything. All she does is complain about money and objects. She doens't feel anything, so why does she think she knows anything about my feelings?


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Re: Pretty sure I'm a lesbian; mother is pissed - March 24th 2010, 12:43 AM

Hey,
I'm kinda in the same stuation too. My mom kinda got mad when I told her to and didn't accept but I'm guessing she just thinks you are too young to decide your sexuality or because of religion. But I don't really care what she says. I am who I am and I think it's none of her business who I choose to love. Same for you. Just don't worry about her opinions and be who you are and yes, getting out to meet someone is the best choice. Hope that helps. Take care.



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Re: Pretty sure I'm a lesbian; mother is pissed - March 24th 2010, 01:49 AM

Hey,
i'm in a similar boat, more physical medical problemz but i have yet to tell my mother because she cbooses to ignore the signs i've given and be blissfully ignorant. Be who your are, she'll have to face that and. Come to terms with it at some point. Just do what feels right when it feels right!


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Re: Pretty sure I'm a lesbian; mother is pissed - March 24th 2010, 02:52 AM

It might be hard for your mom to accept, but don't let that get in the way of being who you are. As your mother, she should be happy for you no matter what, but she might have to take some time to get used to the idea. She'll have to face the fact eventually.


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Re: Pretty sure I'm a lesbian; mother is pissed - March 24th 2010, 10:19 PM

While your mom might not accept it now, she may come around. Just remember she is your mother and she loves you.


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