Born gay? DEFECTED?

[darkxdreamer13]

i'm secretly bi, no one knows except for my gf and a couple real close friends. i'm a girl btw.
and my mom brought up today, that gay people are born gay, same with lesbians. and i told her that i strongly disagree, because it's just whoever you
are attracted to. it's something you learn/realise while you grow up. and she said no, you're born that way. and they way she and my grandmother
were talking made it sound like people who are gay are defected. they're not homophobes, but they made it sound like a bad thing.
now i feel like they'd hate the real me, idek what that is for sure yet, but now i feel like i'm broken. like a defect. help please?
do you guys think you're born that way though?

[aranel05]

I'm bisexual and I think that for the most part sexuality is pre-determined at birth. I don't believe in the whole being born with a blank slate idea. I have this theory that people are born with certain biological traits and such, like sexuality, eye colour, etc. For example, you know how some people are really good at math, while others are bad at English. I think you are born that way, and through experience these traits open themselves up to you. It's like Beauvoir's idea that humans freedom may be restricted but they always have the ultimate freedom to make decisions, judge and so on. I know I am rambling on a little, but that's what I think.

[falling_x]

I knew a guy who swore he was born gay. I was straight until I started experimenting a little at college, but now I consider myself bi and would really like to experiment with my sexuality a bit more.

I don't think at all that if you are born gay you are defected. I personally think that it's one of those things that is dependant on the person in question.

That's my thoughts on it anyway ...

[Union Of V]

The whole "born gay" debate is mostly a more controversial version of the "nature-nurture" debates that are all the rage at the moment. I've discussed (argued) this with a friend of mine who's convinced that the "gay gene" exists (as in there is a gene that will cause the brain to be wired in a such a way as to cause that person to be attracted to people of the same sex). However my argument is that since it's firmly accepted that there is no such thing as absolutes when it comes to sexuality (think of the Kinsey scale), how can the presence or absence of a gene dictate how hetero- or homosexual a person is? (In other words, how does an on/off switch fly a plane?)

What's more, if you look at things from a genetics point of view their sexuality cannot change, so that means a man who chases skirts for most of his life before finally becoming gay did not experience a change in his sexuality, he was only "repressing" his homosexuality. That's well and good, but what about someone who came out, lived through several gay relationships and then finally settles down with a partner of the other sex. Sticking to genetics, it's impossible to explain this other than by outright insulting the person in question by claiming he/she was merely "acting" gay. In the end of the day, our sexual preferences are informed by our past experiences, and experiences aren't something we're born with.

I do think there's a case for saying that certain people are more predisposed to a certain sexuality, but I don't believe that genetics directly affects it. Rather, I think that a person's personality is a large factor in how they perceive their own sexuality, and as such genetics do play a role. However life never stagnates - couples enter relationships with gusto only to leave when they find they've lost their love for each other; people discover they are attracted to that which previously disgusted them, and conversely many lose their interest in activities which formerly aroused them. Is homosexuality still considered such a taboo subject that we have to write "gay" with a capital G and think of gays as a separate species altogether, or can we demystify sexuality and finally accept that people simply change?

[ashleyellen1637]

i disagree with your mother. Im bi-curious, not entirely sure if im bi or not.. but i think humans can be whoever they want to be, and in just my opinion, i dont think its predetermined. (: