Not understanding bi people

[JustSomeone]

Has anyone ever had an experience of seeing gay people not understanding bi people?

I am a member of an online community where there's a large amount of gay males on there, and recently one gay person on there made a comment saying that he didn't understand bisexuality and that it was just gay people who were "on the fence" too afraid to admit it.

Bisexual people are not accepted by the "straight community" and yet some gay people can't accept it either... how is that fair?

[DeadlySin]

You have a point it's not fair. I will say society is getting a little bit better about accepting it.
Either way, I have known some gay people to date bi people. It just happens. I think it more depends on the people. But yes, it isn't fair for most of society to outcast or judge them. They are who they are and they like who they like, all there is to it.

[Eyes on Fire-Xx]

yeah, it realy isnt fair. some gay people think we're gay and dont want to admit it, and iv heard many strait people say its just a fad, or just a phase, or that we'er just gay. why do they think its so wierd to not only like one sex? :/ its realy not fair...

[Flixxs]

I think it's because there are a lot of straight people that fake being bisexual for popularity or just to get more sex, and it's not fair to people who really are bi.
And a lot of gays also fake being bi, just because they're experimenting and are a bit scared about coming out gay. So they think you're just doing the same thing.
I think the best thing to do is to try and spread the word that bisexuality is real.

[Algernon]

I don't think It's really about being fair, I think It's a misunderstanding. I personally think there are a lot of individuals out there that like to say that they are bi because It's an accessory for them. It's "cool." And if they said they were gay/lesbian than then they wouldn't be able to date who they really like.

[Invert]

The LGBTQ+ community has prejudice and discrimination between the different groups, throughout. E.g. gay men to lesbians, lesbians to gay man, gays to bisexuals, some bisexuals to gays, and than dont even get me started on transphobia

It's a shame, but it comes out of fear, unknown and misunderstanding.

In specifics to gays, I've heard lots of ideas I disagree with, such as 'disease carriers' (in women who sleep with women), all the normal biphobic things from the straight community like 'greedy', 'confused', 'denial', 'easier to get laid', and also some gay people feel bisexuals should effectively be blamed for 'giving hope that one can change their sexuality'. Its ridiculas, and if I'm honest, being bi doesnt make it easier to get laid, perhaps harder if you are out

[Singing to the starlight]

Its not fair indeed. The gay 'scene' do not accept bisexual people as a group, however many individuals do. I actually have a transexual friend who doesn't believe there's such a thing as bisexuaity which I find hard to believe, as surely she has heard that same biggoted opinion about transsexuals?

I am bi and have always noticed this.

[Singing to the starlight]

Originally Posted by Algernon

I don't think It's really about being fair, I think It's a misunderstanding. I personally think there are a lot of individuals out there that like to say that they are bi because It's an accessory for them. It's "cool." And if they said they were gay/lesbian than then they wouldn't be able to date who they really like.

I do agree with this. I hate those stupid little girls who think its sexy for them to make out with the odd girl when they're drunk, just to get attention.

[Algernon]

Originally Posted by Sitting on the shitter

I do agree with this. I hate those stupid little girls who think its sexy for them to make out with the odd girl when they're drunk, just to get attention.

Thank you. I usually get yelled at for this...

I'm glad that even a bisexual female notices this. I think homosexuals get upset at bi because they are serious about their sexuality. And When someone plays around and thinks It's cool and cute It makes them look bad, you know?

[JustSomeone]

Thanks for all the comments.

It really bothered me because I consider myself bisexual but I haven't really come out to anyone yet even online. But I thought as a member of a website where there's a large amount of gay males, people would be more accepting. I don't want to bring it up, since the website actually doesn't have anything to do with LGBTQ+ so it would be kind of weird for me to bring it up... but thanks for everyone's opinions

[Rainbow Dash]

Yep, that really annoys me Loads of people have told me I needed to "grow up and accept if I'm straight or gay" :| I know I'm not either :|

I also agree about people who pretend to be bi to look quirky/cool or whatever >____< I remember this girl I used to talk to in school said to me before "I'm bisexual. I wouldn't shag a girl though" O____O lolwut?

[Melody Pond]

Yeah, my boyfriend is bi and his best friend is gay.
Whenever we are out and we mention my boyfriend bisexuality, normally when we are just joking about and all talking about fit guys we see, his friend straight away jumps in and says stuff like "Your full of s**t."

The other day we were out and someone called my boyfriend gay and I laughed and said "well, half gay" and his friend just said to me "yeah, he wishes"

We aren't sure why he acts like this. We think it is because he came out as gay first and people has guessed anyway so it wasn't a big deal but my boyfriend came out a few months later and it was a bit more of a shock for all of us. It could just be that he feels my boyfriend coming out just after him stole his thunder, especially since he got more attention. Also I think the fact that he is going out with me and has been for 3 years makes him think he is straight.

It doesn't make sense to me, none of us have ever questioned his sexuality since he came out.

[MiriamW]

My mother told me that bisexuality is when you are "greedy"... Which is why I'm never coming out to her..
And two girls at my (all girls) school recently came out with their relationship and they got so much harrassment and gossiping from people who said they were just attention seeking...
One girl told me she was uncomfortable seeing two girls holding hands (she said she had no problem with a girl and boy, but two girls?! ) I got very heated about this...
And another complaining that it was "wrong" they were allowed in the changing rooms with us...
It just makes me angry... and when I came out (by accident) as bisexual to an old friend... she looked surprised, shocked and told me "Wow, but you're not the type!"
"What is the type then?"
"Well, y'know... loud, like you could imagine them being slutty and that.."
Ugh, the attitudes people have towards bisexuals is shocking...

[Superstar]

Honestly, I have found people are going to believe what they want to believe, and it's impossible to change that. There will always be people who think bisexuality is a "fad" for everyone who is bisexual, or that they are "greedy" (like your mom said, or that "it's just a phase you are going through" (like my mom said), or that they are wrong or immoral. You can't change them, and honestly if they don't accept you they aren't worth trying to change in the first place.

What you can do is accept yourself for what and who you are, and not only be okay with it, but be proud of it. And alongside that, you can find the people who accept and support you for who you are and encourage you to be all you can be. Those people are the ones worth sticking around with, and they can provide a great source of strength and support when you are feeling insecure about yourself or your sexuality or anything. I suggest you find your friends who are like that, or else seek out groups and things with people like that so you can meet new ones.

[XbeyondthisworldX]

It really isn't fair! I mean, I remember talking to my cousin, who's gay, and when I told him he's like, "But you're lucky! You can just lie and pretend your straight!" Like it's just that easy to keep a huge part of myself hidden from the whole world. I've also had a gay friend tell me that he thinks bi people are gross(he didn't know I was bi) And I know other people who've experienced it. You just have to learn to accept yourself, no matter what anybody says, and surround yourself with people who care, and try to understand. There will always be people who don't approve of some part of your life, you just need to learn how to comfortably live with that.

[Fanatic]

No, it isn't fair. Being one myself, I'm glad people don't judge me even though there's so many straight I know, but seriously I believe it's a real type of sexuality. People thinking that's it's to get attention and stuff. I honestly totally disagree that it's for attention because I know I don't I happen to like both but girls more. Sometimes people can be in a phase yes but it doesn't mean all are phases. I totally get annoyed when others take sexuality as a joke. I've been told that I was in a phase, but I've been feeling like this liking both but girls more for a while. For 3-4 years already.

[we3monks]

I personally don't see the gay communities reasons for their opinion. We (and I use that term loosely cause I don't agree with alot of what the community says) say things about the other sexualities that we ourselves don't enjoy being called. Some people are hypocritical enough that it sickens me. People are who they are, and no one should judge them for it. If a gay person is bashing on a bi person they're no better than the straight people or anyone who does it as well. I'll admit if there's a bi guy with a girl I might be jealous but that's no reason to dislike someone or bash them. <3 all people and who they care for.

[PyroTy21]

See, the one i hear most is "greedy". It is in fact harder for me to find dates because of the fact that I like guys as well as girls. There isn't more sex. being a whore is not the same thing as being bi. and i dont think people get that.

[Eyes on Fire-Xx]

yeah, my own mom has said itd be fine if i was a lesbian. thats cool and all, but she went on a rant bout how bisexual people are faking it and bisexuality isnt real. so if for some reson i ever wanted to come out to her, id have to be lesbian. and if i dated a guy id be strait again. so shed prefer to think im jumping around confusidly insted of accepting im bisexual. and i hate it when girls do it for attention too. its a bit offensive they just do it for the attention and it makes us all look bad and gives us a bad reputation...i mean if you honestly are bi, go right ahead but if your pretending so you can show off, its realy offensve...