confused..

[haveXhope]

So two weeks ago, my boyfriend told me about something he did three years ago, with a guy. Then he told me he was confused about his sexuality and wasn't sure whether he wanted to be with a girl or a guy. So he took his time thinking about it, then he told me he was 95% sure he wanted to be with a guy.. This broke my heart but I am 100% supportive and now we are trying to be friends, I know that is what he needs, a good friend to help him through this, because no one else knows. Except me because I'm in the same exact boat so he trusted me enough to tell me this... Point is... I feel like he used that as an excuse to get rid of me... and I feel terrible about myself. Like I know I'm a good person and all but I don't know... What do I do?

[DeadlySin]

Awww don't think like that.
I don't think a guy would risk being out'd as gay to break up with you.
Since society is still sketchy about it.
Therefore I think he was honest with you.
And it really is great that you are going to support him through it.
He'll appreciate your freindship and support a lot!
But still don't think he was trying to get rid of you, i'm sure he wasn't he just had a change of heart.

[Soliloquy]

Hi there,

I agree with Bridget when she says she doesn't believe a guy would risk being outed as gay if he wasn't really. Therefore, I do think he was probably being genuine. Try not to feel badly about yourself! Know that this has nothing to do with you but with your ex wanting to uncover his sexuality once and for all. You are a wonderful person, and where you said you are 'in the same boat,' does this mean that perhaps you are questioning your own sexuality? If this is the case, then you probably understand what it's like to want to experiment and unravel that mystery within yourself. The simple fact that he is making the effort to remain friends with you tells me that he truly cares for you as a person!

It honestly is extremely mature and sweet of you to want to support him through this. I give you a lot of credit, as I understand how much this realization must have hurt you. Do your best to be there for him as much as you can, but remember to take care and distance yourself slightly if it starts to become too much. It is perfectly natural that you might need some time to mend after ending a relationship, and seeing him with someone else at this point in time might do more harm than good. If this is the case, I would let him know. You could say something along the lines of, "I really want to be supportive of you in the future, but in order to do this, I need to take some time out for myself now to recover from our break-up." However, make it clear to him that you are not bitter towards his decision.

Take care!

[haveXhope]

Thanks so much. I appreciate it, I really do.

I know he cares about me as a person and I really love being his friend and helping him through this, it's what I do. And I know that if I asked him for some time to heal myself from the break up, he would do it. But I would hate that soo much. I'd rather have him in my life. :-)

Yes, when I said that we are in the same boat, I meant exactly that. I'm not too sure right now though. I mean, I want to experiment. I have in the past and I always went back to guys because I thought that was what's right. And I'm a Christian, and I'm scared of what may happen. I don't know, I'm not sure. I know I keep saying that. :-/ It's soo confusing.

I really am proud of myself for staying friends with him though, like usually, I wouldn't do that. But I am because I truly do care for him; and I understand.

Thanks for listening, it means so much!

Take care. :-)