Triggering (SH): So, that was a double stab today.

[Lost_Confused]

I've known i was bi for about a year now, and i liked my best friend. (Who kissed me several times before.)

Well, my other friend and i were talking and she was talking about a lesbian who was waiting for her girlfriend who passed her in the lobby a few minutes ago, and about how that was disgusting.
Stab number one.
Then i was talking to my best friend about how i thought it was funny that people thought i was the innocent little homeschooled kid. We were talking about me having being kissed before, and she didn't remember any of the times we had kissed, and she called herself a freak for kissing me. (I only mentioned one time, and i didn't mention any of the others but she didn't remember even that one.)
Stab number two.


So now i'm really wanting to cut even though i finally stopped, and am all depressed because i liked her, and she totally forgot about us kissing and thinks she's a freak for kissing a girl.


Great.

[Soliloquy]

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear you had such a tough day. I understand how hurtful it can be to receive negative responses from friends regarding LGBT matters. Please check out the Self-Harm Alternatives thread stickied in the Depression & Suicide forum for alternate coping methods to cutting. Does anyone know that you have struggled with self-harm in the past? If not, it may be a good idea to confide in a trusted adult or friend. Self-harm can be a very difficult thing to deal with alone, and a little support can really go a long way.

Unfortunately, not everyone is overly accepting of homosexual behaviors. I would recommend trying to talk to your friends. I'm not suggesting that you tell them straight out that you are bi, but rather, perhaps you could tell them that you are a supporter of the LGBT community and that it bothers you when they make such negative comments in your presence.

If I may ask, what were the circumstances when your friend kissed you those times? Did she seem to be flirting with you? It could be that she is or was questioning her sexuality but is too nervous about being shunned by her peers to admit it. I cannot tell you for certain, of course, as I do not know her. I can only guess.

Regardless of what anyone says, however, there is nothing wrong with your being bi. Embrace your sexuality and who you are. It is completely normal and natural to be attracted to a member of the same sex!

[facemeetpavement]

Hey there.
I'm sorry to hear about your day.
If you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop a PM and we can chat :]

Self-harm is very difficult to deal with alone.
Have you ever talked to anyone about it?

[Lost_Confused]

If I may ask, what were the circumstances when your friend kissed you those times?

Well, one was because i gave her her favorite stuffed animal when i moved (spurr of the moment, i understand that.) but then another time was on the fourth of july when we were playing in some water, and once at night when we were going to go to sleep.
I'm totally fine with me being bi, but it just really hurt when she said those things.
No one knows about me cutting, i think she might know something happened, but not sure what, and no one knows i'm bi.
I've got quite a few things that i don't tell my friends. Or anybody irl, for that matter.
:/

[mIssIng:nO]

If no one knows your bi, how are either of the things you said a stab?

1) Most people your age are going to think being "gay" is weird, thats just how it goes. I get the fact that it sucks hearing it, as I do all the time, but its something you can't get mad about because its just how things are, and without them knowing your Bisexual, they have no reason to think you'd take any offense to it, even if they were just saying it because they thought thats what they should say around someone who they figure is straight like them, and won't take offense.

2) I know alot of girls that are straight that have kissed eachother, just because she kissed you doesn't mean she likes you, and doesn't mean that the kiss meant anything to her, it may have to you, but she's a straight girl who probably just did it for fun, or spontaneously, but the fact she doesn't know your Bi gives her no reason to think of it as anything other than "a silly kiss", maybe you should tell her your bisexual instead of taking things way out of context, how can you get mad at someone for a "silly little kiss", if they have no reason to think it was any different for you?

I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but you have to look at it from the viewpoint of someone who IS straight, its hard to do, but you gotta understand that to them, its all just "normal" and when you do that, you'll realize that your taking offense over something you really shouldn't be, because they have no reason to think or know it'd offend you.
As for the really wanting to cut, its not worth it, it'll just make things worse when you realize you have another scar over something that you shouldn't be feeling so badly about. check out the self harm board and you can PM me if you like.

[Lost_Confused]

because they have no reason to think or know it'd offend you.

I know, it just hurt when they called gay people disgusting.
And i know that since they don't know they didn't really mean anything by it, i just don't see how it's "disgusting". Even before i was bi, i didn't think being gay was gross.

And i know that since she's probably straight it didn't mean anything to her, but i'm just surprised she didn't remember them at all.