Can I be lesbian?

[PoeticZoe]

Today my eyes were slightly opened kinda of revealing my sexuality. I've always been intrigued by lesbians and after a series of events and thoughts finally clicked in my head, I want to be a lesbian. I'm a guy obviously but I've always been not just mesmerized by woman, but wanting to be one. I find the best in humanity in woman. I don't know if this is some short-term hormonal thing, but it just feels right, loving the most beautiful beings, a girl and being one myself. I could pull it off without revealing my notions but its something that would eventually come up. I want to know peoples thoughts.

[The sad one.]

I dont know about you but for me I always wonder, "Hey I wonder what it would be like if I were the oppisite gender..." Women mesmerize me too but for now the most I'll ever go is Bisexual.

[PoeticZoe]

Garret you're the youngest person Ive met on Teenhelp

[Kaisada]

Whatever feelings you have, they're certainly valid - although you won't know for sure whether or not it's fleeting or something that will be long-standing, without time. Just wait and see how things go; the path will become more clear. All that matters is that however you choose to identify and present yourself, feel comfortable and natural.

I originally joined when I was 12, and met several people who also were, so no age is too young.

[PoeticZoe]

Thank you, even here I felt different. While there was gay, lesbian, bi, and straight, I hadn't met any people like me I think it's called "lesbian identified man" or is it transsexual?

[Kaisada]

If you identify as a female while being biologically male, that would make you a male-to-female transsexual (gender identity), and therefore lesbian (sexuality).

[PoeticZoe]

Then I think that's what I'm aiming for. I'm still confused I already act like a girl but I can't look like one, I want to be one so badly but how can I be when I dont look it.

[ChaosControl]

Hey Zach,

I don't think it matters so much what you look like; it's more about what you feel like. If you want to identify as a lesbian there's nothing stopping you. Biological sex doesn't mean much at all. If you feel you behave as a girl, it makes no difference whether or not you look like one - gender identity and sexuality are defined by your feelings and not your biology.

Take care

[Kyeto-X]

Hey there,

What you are feeling is totally and completly valid. You have no reason to be afriad of it. But I would be cautious about changing your gender identity so quickly. Gender is a whole mess of emotion/cognitive/social schemas that is 5000x more complicated then just swiching organs. If you truely feel more comfortable 'acting like a girl' more then you like 'acting like a guy' I would say try it out for a while. Adolescents is a time to try out different identities and figure out who you are in relation to the rest of the world.

Me personally, I am a Bi-guy, and I am engaged to a bi-girl. But occationally, we have role-played lesbian encounters and I am not at all weirded out by it. Yes, it's a fetish of mine to be a lesbian girl :P . But do I WANT to be girl? certainaly not. I love being a guy and I am a guy, it's just certain times I roleplay my fantasy out with the woman I love and who shares similar interest.

All in all, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling, but take it slow and don't start wearing skirts quit yet

[mIssIng:nO]

Originally Posted by handgrenadeheart

Hey Zach,

I don't think it matters so much what you look like; it's more about what you feel like. If you want to identify as a lesbian there's nothing stopping you. Biological sex doesn't mean much at all. If you feel you behave as a girl, it makes no difference whether or not you look like one - gender identity and sexuality are defined by your feelings and not your biology.

Take care

Gonna have to really disagree here, your biological gender doesn't dictate what your sexuality is, but it does dictate what your gender is.

If your born a male, your a male, if your born female, your female. Can this be changed? Yep, but only to some extent.

[Kyeto-X]

Originally Posted by mIssIng:nO

Gonna have to really disagree here, your biological gender doesn't dictate what your sexuality is, but it does dictate what your gender is.

If your born a male, your a male, if your born female, your female. Can this be changed? Yep, but only to some extent.

As a psych major, I will disagree with you. Sex and Gender are two different ideas.

Sex is the biological differenzation between male and female. The chromosomes and the parts that come with them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biologi..._determination

Gender is social/cognitive aspect of ones identity that dictates social norms, behaviors, and ideals. It the idea of being masculine and feminine. This is NOT tied to biology, although there is a corolation between most males being masculine, and females being feminine, there are outlyers in each catagory. Note, An effeminate man can still identify as masculine, and a tomboy woman can still identify as feminine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender

Sexualilty has to deal with what kinds of people you are attracted to. Part of sexuality has to do with the other person's sex, and part of it has to do with their gender. Sexuality in general is a very complex idea and has many factors that go into it, including your own identity and the other persons identity also

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexuality

[Invert]

Originally Posted by mIssIng:nO

Gonna have to really disagree here, your biological gender doesn't dictate what your sexuality is, but it does dictate what your gender is.

If your born a male, your a male, if your born female, your female. Can this be changed? Yep, but only to some extent.

Wrong. Sex is actually not particularly straight forward, let alone gender being. The medical community even acknowledges gender identities that dont match sex, and sociology amongst other schools of thought have huge theories about gender, such as social construction and such forth. You view is far too simple, and not true to life. Infact, in the social sciences, gender and sex are deemed seperate. Other disciplines may consider it connected, but not restricted to born man, always man, born girl, always girl. And some people aren't even born as straight forward male or female. Sex and gender are very complicated.

Originally Posted by Kyeto-X

As a psych major, I will disagree with you. Sex and Gender are two different ideas.

As a psych graduate, its not quite as simple as you suggest either particularly within the psychology discipline. But nevermind.

To the OP, do you want to be a woman, or do you just like the idea of a lesbian relationship? In the first series of the L Word there was a 'Lesbian identified man', but unless you desire independantly to be a woman, its probably unlikely you are a transsexual.

Not everyone will accept you for it, but other will.

[PoeticZoe]

I just feel like a girl on the inside and I still want to love a girl, is there something wrong with that? I've always been a bit feminist until I finally figured that I just don't support the male species. I don't need to look like a girl, just look more feminine, today I was wearing a new coat I bought and someone told me it looked like a woman's coat, while this was trying to be mean I found it a compliment. I'm not changing my sex because I fear surgery to much to get anything that isn't medically necessary and I don't feel it's right to change your body. You can change your mind and your heart but not your body. I was never comfortable as a guy and I hate when I come to those testosterone filled moments. My feelings for this aren't new but only recently have they started to form into more solid shapes. I want a feminine body and mind yet I'm find with a male body. Oh and I prefer neutral clothes neither guy nor girl. So stop arguing and forgetting who was the person who was looking for understanding.

[Invert]

gender and sexuality are different things. Hence we have gays and lesbians as well as straight people. Gender is about how you are, and how you see yourself, sexual orientation is who you are attracted to.

[PoeticZoe]

FINE IF I MUST MAKE MYSELF FUCKING CLEAR!?

I WANT my GENDER to be FEMALE, NOT my BODY but my MIND and how I see MYSELF! I want my SEXUAL ORIENTATION to stay for woman. Have I made myself clear?

Body: male
Mind and how I want to view myself and want others to view me: female
Who I want to love/who I'm attracted to: female
Clothes: neutral neither guy nor girl

ANY FUCKING QUESTIONS!? I guess only a fraction of people here actually understand...

[kenzie]

If you feel like a girl, then that's how you feel. And if you identify as female, then that's how you identify. And if you like girls and identify as female, then yes, it is entirely possible that you are a lesbian.

And I agree, you can have a male body, be comfortable in that body, and still identify as female. We are talking about gender. Gender isn't your body, it's your mind, it's part of your identity.

I hope I've been able to help, even if just by understanding.

[Invert]

You need to chill out, I don't appriciate being shouted at. I got that from the post before. My response was it's completely possible to have a gender of female and like females.

Saying 'trans' doesn't mean YOU want a sex change. Not all trans people desire or have sex changes. I did not once suggest you wanted to change your body. OK?

[PoeticZoe]

I just want to find understanding of what I'm feeling, I feel like an outcast even here where there's a community of gay, bisexual, and lesbian, but no one understands me...

[kenzie]

I'm sorry if you feel like an outcast and like we don't understand. I think, even when people can't understand your exact situation (and we can't, because we aren't you) they at least try to understand. It might seem like they're saying all the wrong things, but that's just them trying to understand your situation. I don't know exactly how you feel about yourself and your gender identity. And I won't pretend to know. But I will try to respond as best I can, and I think the same can be said about a lot of the people on TH.

[PoeticZoe]

I know I just posted this looking for support or advice.

[Michael~]

Well I have gender identity issues and even people who have gone through gender identity issues like me don't understand. What I've learned is that nobody can understand it unless they think the exact same way. I kind of just started to realize how I felt when I was your age, and by now I understand things a little better. I think maybe it's something you can feel better about with time. I still feel the same but I have different issues than you. I'm still hormonal, too, but I still have figured some things out. Just wait a while and see if you feel the same.

And to be clear, you did ask for people's thoughts.

Good luck!

[Luka]

My friend's friend is a guy and has wanted to be female for a couple of years and is attracted to women. But he/she wants her body changed too. If you are female inside then I guess you are female, so yes you could be lesbian