Coming Out

[Ellen]

After several months of thinking, I have just recently come to the conclusion that I am gay (I personally do not like the word lesbian). I have yet to tell really anyone that I was even questioning and most people think that I am straight. As a result, I am slightly scared of completely coming out. To be honest, I really want to just come out and tell everyone except for my family, but for some reason I just cannot bring myself to do it. I am pretty sure that I would not get picked on too badly at this point, but I think that I am just scared that I would be referred to as the "lesbian lady" or even a fake because I just got out a relationship with a guy.

What do you guys think?

[Boxy]

Hey Ellen,

First of all I just wanna say that coming out is truly a personal thing and that there's not necessarily a right or wrong way to do it.

If you feel it's necessary to come out in order for you to feel 'whole' in a sense, or to feel like you're not hiding (or something similar) then I say go for it! You don't want to have negative feelings all of time just because you're in the closet.

I'd say don't worry too much about how people will treat you because if they are your true friends they won't care that you're gay. You were gay before, you're gay now, and you will be gay in the future. You haven't changed a bit. And if your friends and family think rationally, they should know this too. The only thing that changed is you came to a self realization and want to share it everyone! There's nothing wrong with that.
Coming out is supposed to be a good thing, something used to enlighten yourself, to be free from your own oppression (and others). If you run into anyone trying to hold you back, then you don't need them, and shouldn't want them in your life.

I'd start with maybe a few close friends who you think may take it well, and express to them that you don't want them to tell anyone else. Not out of shame, of course, but because YOU want to be the one to do it. If you want to, and I think it would be a good thing to do, if they are accepting people, you should tell your family. Not necessarily your whole family, but your immediate family at least. Just to get it off your chest.

I hope I covered everything... if not, and if you have any other questions, feel free to PM me

Take care,
hope all goes well,
<3 Boxy