Dude, what's a gaydar and how do I get one?

[CageCardinal]

Because I've been aware of my...not being straightness for the past four/five years and my gaydar hasn't seemed to improve very much from what it was before. Last year it was so bad that this lesbian at my school got all hostile and said "You're not bisexual. You can't even detect who in our school is gay." It had hurt me so much that now as an effect from that experience I don't feel I fit in with anyone - gay, straight or bi...but that's another story...

Today I was just chillin' after rehearsal and I look over and two of my cast mates, boys, kiss. Now, this isn't the first time I've seen them close. They've sat on eachother's laps and cuddled...yet for whatever reason I always dismissed this and thought they were just messing around. One of them would always play flamboyant/trannylike characters in school presentations but I thought that was just because he was funny and secure enough to do such a thing...not because it was connected to his own orientation. So now I feel so ashamed. I was pretty much the last person to figure it out...

[Boxy]

"Every gay person knows every other gay person" is a myth. I have a lot of gay friends who have terrible gaydar.
Gaydar isn't even really an actual thing... It's only based off of sterotypes.
Just b/c you don't have gaydar doesn't mean you aren't gay/bi/etc.
Also... straight people can have gaydar too... so... yeah

<3 Boxy

[ThePunkAlien]

I'm a bi guy - I usually know that the overly flamboyant guys are gay/bi (though I've oddly met some straight guys like this too - thus it's not that big of an indicator, just the odds). While it's more difficult to tell straight from gay/bi for those who act like typical guys and just have a different or mixed preference (the group I fall into). My sister claims to have a gaydar but I fall nowhere on it.

Basically gaydar doesn't really exist. It does if you look at the stereotypes - but still, that could be wrong. Many gay/bi guys go straight on by undetected. Probably the same with girls, unsure. Though two guys flirting and acting like a couple - would seem like a give away... note: 100% straight guys would not do that. Bi/gay guys would want to gravitate toward introducing themselves on that one.

[mae_kas]

I think a 'gaydar' is prolly what turns out the mix of observation, knowledge of people, help form stereotypes (we must remember stereotypes are based in real patterns whether later on being exaggerated) and of lots intuition -and maybe you can add experience-. So basically it's not something everybody uses or thinks about when observing, or meeting people or are not aware of. And everybody includes anyone whether straight or not, so you can learn and try to observe more but but you shouldn't feel bad at not being able to tell.

[Ellen]

Gaydar is a myth brought about by various stereotypes about homosexuals. I do not think it is fair to anyone to assume that anyone is straight or gay without hearing it from them first.

[Guile]

I have a rather good Gaydar, I can always spot them out, I see where they are... ^^