Crushing on my best friend?

[Seek4Answers]

Hey all,

So up until recently i thought i was straight.. I am female and my best friend came out to me as a lesbian about a year ago. I have always been very accepting and a lot of my friends are gay guys. When she came out to me, absolutely nothing changed. We still hung out like usual, acted like best friends, and neither of us we're uncomfortable. She has a very difficult time accepting her sexuality, so we don't talk about it much.

Anyways, I am a senior in high school, and as you know the year is coming to a close. Lately all I can think about is spending next year without her as my best friend. The thought of going to separate colleges makes me incredibly sad and feel lonely.

Although I do think that she is attractive (I think it's possible to find beauty in both genders) I just can't imagine myself having sex with a woman.. ever. So that makes me think, alright I'm not queer im just lonely. However.. I get jealous when she's with other friends, I am very protective in the sense that i worry about her all the time, i love the the little quirky things about her that not many people know, and the way she can always make me smile and shit like that. I don't want to have sex with her though.. and to me, the only difference between friends and being in a relationship is sex.

Is this normal? Am I in love with her or is this just happening because I don't want to lose my best friend to college?

Also.. I feel like i thought she liked me. But i'm not sure if that's really the case or im imagining things because i know she's gay and nobody else knows. I've considered talking to her.. but even if she does like me, I would be too terrified to be in a relationship with her. And if she doesn't like me I feel like I would be let down for some reason. So.. help?

I'm so confused, if anyone can offer advice please I appreciate it.

[Believe.]

i'm not sure how good my advice can be but i can at least try...

with that said, you already have a type relationship with her YOUR FRIENDSHIP
i think it's natural to miss your friends when you go off to colledge, especially your bestfriend. I can tell you're close.
I tend to get jelous when my friend hangsout with other people, so i don't think that is unusual. and i liked the little things in her two, like her little kid laugh. i think it's normal, very normal! but if you feel like there's more than that, then it probably is more than that. an old friend of mine fell in love with her bestfriend and it just worked, and me and my bestfriend consider eachother sisters and the thoughts of anything more than that have never crossed my mind. You will miss her regardless of in what way you like her, but i'd become her penpal if i were you.

I know you said you hardly talk about her sexuality because she has trouble accepting it but if these thoughts don't go away or change, maybe it'd be a good idea to sit down and talk to her. Afterall she and you are close and i think not even questioning oneselfs sexuallity would end it.

i hope this is helpful to you. GOODLUCK!

[Troubled_Heart]

I think that she is just a really good friend and you can't stand to be away from her. If you don't see her in a sexual way (not just sex but kissing too) then you won't be in love with her. You don't want others around her but that can be explained by the fact you don't want your best friend taken away from you. To be honest though it's how you feel in your heart. If you don't feel right having sex with her then you probably just don't want her to leave your life.