Being Gay is a choice ?

[colorherworldxo]

I'm sorry but is it just me or are straight people the only people that say this ?
I'm a lesbian and it is not a choice. I just hate it when people argue with me and say I could change it. I can't I love who I love and I don't love who I don't love. If being gay is an option than the other option is being straight. So wouldn't that make being straight an option too, therefore making it a choice ?

Any thoughts ?

Do you believe having a different sexual orientation other than straight is a choice ?

[alixthetree]

I don't believe it is a choice. Just the way you are. True you have the choice on whether or not to act on the feelings you have or just ignore them and basically "conform to other's standards" but those feelings don't go away and it doesn't make the others true.

lol if that made any sense.

[colorherworldxo]

Originally Posted by alixthetree

I don't believe it is a choice. Just the way you are. True you have the choice on whether or not to act on the feelings you have or just ignore them and basically "conform to other's standards" but those feelings don't go away and it doesn't make the others true.

lol if that made any sense.

Yeah it made sense. I just wish everyone could see it like that.

[Celestial.]

If being gay is an option than the other option is being straight. So wouldn't that make being straight an option too, therefore making it a choice ?

I'd actually never thought of it like that before, but it's a good point.

I don't believe sexual orientation is a choice. Just like you can't choose which person you're attracted to, you can't choose which gender/s you're attracted to.

[colorherworldxo]

Originally Posted by Sidhe.

I'd actually never thought of it like that before, but it's a good point.

I don't believe sexual orientation is a choice. Just like you can't choose which person you're attracted to, you can't choose which gender/s you're attracted to.

Thank you ! A lot of people have never thought of it like that and that's why I'm trying to get thoughts across on it. Sometimes when two people are looking at the same exact situation they see two different things until they hear what the other person see's and they start to look at it in a whole other way. If that made sense (:

[alixthetree]

It made sense and that is a good way of thinking about it.

[Kaisada]

I don't honestly understand why this question even exists, except to illustrate the conditions of ignorance which pervades too many minds to count. At some point, the same few unoriginal arguments become quite amusing - ah, another one. Is that all? Moving on!

Who cares if being gay is a choice or not? Who cares if being or doing anything is a choice or not? We all have the right to live our own lives according to us, because it's our life, not anyone else's. So long as we don't infringe upon anyone else's equal right to live their lives, it's really none of other people's business. And being gay in itself certainly doesn't harm anyone, or force anyone into anything they're not comfortable with. Mainstream society has attempted to argue against this point, but goodness knows how badly they fail at that.

[colorherworldxo]

Originally Posted by Kaisada

I don't honestly understand why this question even exists, except to illustrate the conditions of ignorance which pervades too many minds to count. At some point, the same few unoriginal arguments become quite amusing - ah, another one. Is that all? Moving on!

Who cares if being gay is a choice or not? Who cares if being or doing anything is a choice or not? We all have the right to live our own lives according to us, because it's our life, not anyone else's. So long as we don't infringe upon anyone else's equal right to live their lives, it's really none of other people's business. And being gay in itself certainly doesn't harm anyone, or force anyone into anything they're not comfortable with. Mainstream society has attempted to argue against this point, but goodness knows how badly they fail at that.

I totally agree. I don't ask this question on a normal basis and I felt kind of stupid asking it. But the truth is, my life is being changed by people who do believe it's a choice. I can't get married where I live. I couldn't take my girlfriend to prom. I get looked at weird when I hold a girls hand. I get told too often that I can and need to change and be who "I'm supposed to be." But you're right. It shouldn't matter. I really wish it didn't matter.

[enfantreve]

Choice my booty! We love who we love. That's like saying I CHOOSE to like Chinese food! xD

[LostTeen011]

Oh my gosh, thank you for making this thread. I am so tired of straight girls who have dated numerous amount of guys and who clearly had the most strongest attraction to guys say, "Oh I'm bi or gay now because guys don't know how to treat me." What kind of shit is that? So you want to be gay not because your attracted to girls, but because your tired of going out with loser guys? Be gay because you have an attraction to the same sex not just because the opposite isn't satisfying you. In my opinion that's like forcing yourself to like the same sex.

[Kitty.]

You can't choose who you are attracted to. Simple as that.

[ChrisB]

Last semester I talked about this in one of my psychology classes. I kinda shocked everyone.
Well I am openly transgender, Female to Male. Open to everyone seriously just ask questions.
So we were talking and out of nowhere I just spoke (i tend to be quiet sometimes) and I was just saying. How I do not choose to be like this and everyone looked at me and my professor (who knows im trans) asked me if I was willing to share. And of course I was so I got up and walked to the front of my class of 30 people (college) and I was like well I am transgendered and trust me when I tell you I do NOT choose this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Some people do not understand how hard it can be and how discouraging it can deff get.
I went on saying that I do not chose to get beat up
I do not chose to get abandoned by my friends and family
I do not chose to fight an emotional battle with myself every day when I wake up.
I do not chose to get bullied, pushed down kicked and spat on.
I do not chose to get a boot in my side because I went in the mens bathroom
But what I said I did chose to do.
I DID chose to be honest and truthful to myself and everyone around me. I chose to be who i REALLY am and not what im not. that I DID chose. And honestly its not something thats easy.
Being gay,bisexual, lesbian, or transgendered is NOT a choice. Its not something that someone wakes up from sleeping and says to them selves "oh well today seems like a good day to decide to be gay" no It does not work like that, we are born this way, we chose to accept it or not
We chose to live as ourselves or not.
but we DO NOT chose to be gay/bisexual/lesbian/trans
I am sick of ignorant people telling me that I chose to live this way, its almost like I want to slap them and then say please just walk a day in my shoes. A lot of people do not understand how hard it is to be me some days. Like it really is not easy (i mean there are days where its a heck of a lot easier) but there are days where my dysphoria is just so bad where i dont want to get out of bed.
I wear about 5-6 layers a day just to bind my chest sometimes less it all depends on how i feel, but that makes it nearly impossible to breath. I have cracked ribs from binding.
I did not chose to have to crack a rib to look the way i should
Then there is packing dont even get me started, the embarssement if it falls out.
I dont chose that either, i should have been born a male.
And the emotional pain of having to wake up every morning and know that you were born in the wrong body sometimes is just mind blowing.

But my whole point here is that its not a choice this is who you (we) are we are born this way and we love who we love. its just how it is, we can either choose to live with it and accept it and move on with life or we can choose to ignore it and most likley live a life of regret and pain.
now THAT is what we choose.




sorry for the trans rant I wanted to get that in there since it was on the poll

[Guile]

Nope, it's a genetic disorder, who would choose to be gay, that's silly.

[MegaMadness]

No, it's not a choice. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot.

[NinjaChick]

I'm glad to see people who understand that we were born this way. I'm bisexual and my school is suprisingly enough the place I feel safest. I've been rejected by family and some friends but the friends that I have now have proven to be true friends. MY school is very accepting of people with differing sexual and gender identities/orientations. We are a high school that has gender neutral bathrooms. The only school in this area that has gender neutral bathrooms. All at my school who are LGBT are open and accepted.

[Anatidaephobia]

No, i don't think it is a choice. You cannot help who you are attracted to after all

[Soliloquy]

I do not believe that it is a choice at all. Many, many people struggle with their sexuality and gender identity. I've seen a lot say that they wish that they could change it so that they could be "normal." If it were as simple as making a choice, I have to say that I think the LGBT community would be a bit smaller. Obviously, there isn't anything wrong with being LGBT, but some people would choose not to endure all the hardship we can sometimes face. I might have been one of these people in my earlier years, as I had a very hard time accepting the fact that I was gay when it first crossed my mind when I was 13.

[Marguerite]

Who cares?

No, of course being gay is not a choice. That's silly. But I'm confused as to why this is always such a huge issue.

So what if it was a choice? No rights, no respect, no tolerence, no nothing? I find that hard to believe that gay rights hinder on whether someone wakes up in the morning and feels like it would be a good day to go kiss a dude or not.

I think it's pretty irrelevent. We're at a point now when we realize that sexuality isn't something you just pick and choose. Still, I don't think it would matter if it did. It always blows my mind how much energy and time people put into debating this.

Choice, no choice, who gives? People are just people.

[Melody Pond]

I say it's not.

I think genetics plays a big part in it.

I know when Guile says "Who would choose to be gay?" he probably means it in a different way but I know a lot of gay people who have said this because of the amount of abuse they go though for being gay they don't understand why people say it is a choice because who would choose to put themselves through that abuse.

[Sythan]

Originally Posted by Guile

Nope, it's a genetic disorder, who would choose to be gay, that's silly.

You enjoy making the most racist and discriminatory remarks, don't you?

[Ali Baba]

Yes, it is a choice - 0%
No, it's not a choice - 100%.
That answers that question then!
Simple as!!

[Awakening]

Originally Posted by Eblouie

I do not believe that it is a choice at all. Many, many people struggle with their sexuality and gender identity. I've seen a lot say that they wish that they could change it so that they could be "normal." If it were as simple as making a choice, I have to say that I think the LGBT community would be a bit smaller. Obviously, there isn't anything wrong with being LGBT, but some people would choose not to endure all the hardship we can sometimes face. I might have been one of these people in my earlier years, as I had a very hard time accepting the fact that I was gay when it first crossed my mind when I was 13.

I agree with Kylie. Not a choice. You can choose if you're going to act on it but you can't choose who you like.

[Rainbow Dash]

Of course it's not a choice. Why would a Muslim with Muslim parents with strong ethics against homosexuality choose to be homosexual? They wouldn't want to be dis-owed by their parents. If a sexuality was a choice I would choose to be straight, it would make my life somewhat easier.

You don't choose which colour is you favourite colour, you don't choose what genre of music you like or you don't choose who you fall in love with/are attracted to.

[luvflamingos]

Originally Posted by Fierce

You can't choose who you are attracted to. Simple as that.

Agreed....

[Kate*]

Originally Posted by Guile

Nope, it's a genetic disorder, who would choose to be gay, that's silly.

Actually, it's not considered a disorder anymore, at least not in the psychological sense.

I'm straight and for the record, I NEVER believed that being gay was a choice, I think it's just an excuse for people to discriminate and (sorry) to make the Bible make sense. If God says it's wrong and people are still gay, then it's a choice and we don't have to agree with it. That just makes me mad, aside from the fact that using religious beliefs as an excuse to discriminate is counterintuitive.

[firecracker]

Originally Posted by Guile

Nope, it's a genetic disorder, who would choose to be gay, that's silly.

So, you're saying people who are gay are basically diseased?

[ChrisB]

Originally Posted by Kate*

If God says it's wrong and people are still gay, then it's a choice and we don't have to agree with it. That just makes me mad,

Just like to point out bible was not physically written by God.
It too makes me mad when people throw the bible in my face
I am religious I know what it says
I went to catholic school for 7 years.
So it too just makes me angry

[Kira-Kira]

i dont think its a choice it just happens u fall in love with the same sex and whats done is done some ppl just refuse to believe they are and some pretend they are cuz they want to be gay i met someone like this or just to mess with ones who are but i think it just happens

[colorherworldxo]

Originally Posted by ChrisB

Last semester I talked about this in one of my psychology classes. I kinda shocked everyone.
Well I am openly transgender, Female to Male. Open to everyone seriously just ask questions.
So we were talking and out of nowhere I just spoke (i tend to be quiet sometimes) and I was just saying. How I do not choose to be like this and everyone looked at me and my professor (who knows im trans) asked me if I was willing to share. And of course I was so I got up and walked to the front of my class of 30 people (college) and I was like well I am transgendered and trust me when I tell you I do NOT choose this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. Some people do not understand how hard it can be and how discouraging it can deff get.
I went on saying that I do not chose to get beat up
I do not chose to get abandoned by my friends and family
I do not chose to fight an emotional battle with myself every day when I wake up.
I do not chose to get bullied, pushed down kicked and spat on.
I do not chose to get a boot in my side because I went in the mens bathroom
But what I said I did chose to do.
I DID chose to be honest and truthful to myself and everyone around me. I chose to be who i REALLY am and not what im not. that I DID chose. And honestly its not something thats easy.
Being gay,bisexual, lesbian, or transgendered is NOT a choice. Its not something that someone wakes up from sleeping and says to them selves "oh well today seems like a good day to decide to be gay" no It does not work like that, we are born this way, we chose to accept it or not
We chose to live as ourselves or not.
but we DO NOT chose to be gay/bisexual/lesbian/trans
I am sick of ignorant people telling me that I chose to live this way, its almost like I want to slap them and then say please just walk a day in my shoes. A lot of people do not understand how hard it is to be me some days. Like it really is not easy (i mean there are days where its a heck of a lot easier) but there are days where my dysphoria is just so bad where i dont want to get out of bed.
I wear about 5-6 layers a day just to bind my chest sometimes less it all depends on how i feel, but that makes it nearly impossible to breath. I have cracked ribs from binding.
I did not chose to have to crack a rib to look the way i should
Then there is packing dont even get me started, the embarssement if it falls out.
I dont chose that either, i should have been born a male.
And the emotional pain of having to wake up every morning and know that you were born in the wrong body sometimes is just mind blowing.

But my whole point here is that its not a choice this is who you (we) are we are born this way and we love who we love. its just how it is, we can either choose to live with it and accept it and move on with life or we can choose to ignore it and most likley live a life of regret and pain.
now THAT is what we choose.




sorry for the trans rant I wanted to get that in there since it was on the poll

I totally understand. I mean of course I don't understand the transgendered part fully but I have trans friends and I can just see how painful it can be sometimes. KNOWING that you aren't who you're supposed to be. People that haven't experienced it or haven't known anyone who has experienced it just don't get it. They don't get the fact that we Don't want to be like this. I mean don't get me wrong I love my lifestyle and I love being a lesbian; but sometimes (on the hard days) i just wish to be "normal". I've been harassed and put down and just told I was worthless from people who don't even know me ? So I'm worthless because I can't help who I love, who I'm attracted to ? I wrote a blog on trans people and I don't know what happened but it didn't get published. But it basically said that trans people whether they're mtf or ftm have it the hardest. They aren't only being hurt by other people but they are also hard on themselves. That's a hard way to live. Every trans person out there has my respect and has my heart because they get up every day and face the world that just keeps pushing them down. And anyone who can do that and STILL keep being who they are deserves every single person in this worlds respect and love.

[colorherworldxo]

Originally Posted by ChrisB

Just like to point out bible was not physically written by God.
It too makes me mad when people throw the bible in my face
I am religious I know what it says
I went to catholic school for 7 years.
So it too just makes me angry

The bible/religion v.s lgbt is a whole other fight.

I got kicked out of my church for it. I know the bible very well. The people against gay marriage say that same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage so it's illegal. But in the bible it says that divorce is a sin unless your spouse dies. But divorce is legal. There is NO limit on how many divorces you can get either. So, same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity or marriage ? No, I'm pretty sure divorce does.

[allyouneedislove]

It feels like a slap in the face when people say that lgbt people choose to be this way, I'm bisexual and a Ftm and I didn't choose to be this at any point in my life their wasn't a random day where I woke up and that hmm I think I'm going to kiss a girl or hmm I think I'm going to tell my mom I trans just to scare her sh*tless.

People who say what we go through is a chocie has no idea what their saying because their not going to magically be in that person's body the next day like freaky friday and have this completely new outlook on that person. Who are they to judge a persons lifestyle when they dont even know them in the first place? Me being this way isn't a choice the only thing that I chose to do like christopher said is to be honest with myself and not live a lie.

[Loving Linux Penguin]

It's a preference. I don't choose to like the Mac over Windows. I simply prefer the software that Apple offers. In the same way I don't choose to be attracted to guys, I simply have a sexual preference for guys. Simple as that. It's like liking vanilla or chocolate ice cream!

[Guile]

Originally Posted by Kate*

Actually, it's not considered a disorder anymore, at least not in the psychological sense.

I'm straight and for the record, I NEVER believed that being gay was a choice, I think it's just an excuse for people to discriminate and (sorry) to make the Bible make sense. If God says it's wrong and people are still gay, then it's a choice and we don't have to agree with it. That just makes me mad, aside from the fact that using religious beliefs as an excuse to discriminate is counterintuitive.

My opinion there has nothing to do with religion, Insay it because I feel that way for political, and by the waym to the person above, when have I ever said anything bad about another person, for the sheer reason of their skin color? I have never once stated I dislike someone because of the color of their skin, I have said I feel that a nation made up of too many cultures is doomed to fail eventually, but that's just because of internal differences, I never said, "I hate other cultures", Hell, I am an avid anime fdan, enjoy Russian Folk music, and like French cooking, not to mention I have always wanted to visit Egypt. If anyone's being biggoted, it's you people.

[Speechless]

With all the stigma surrounding homosexuality, and the discrimination individuals are subjected to as a result of it, people would have to be stupid to think that anyone would want to choose that for themselves. I am absolutely disgusted by anyone and everyone who has discriminated against a person for their sexuality. I don't see how being 'straight' gives you any more of a right to be with the person you like. We're all people, and we all deserve to be able to like the people we do.

[Sythan]

Originally Posted by Guile

and by the waym to the person above, when have I ever said anything bad about another person, for the sheer reason of their skin color? I have never once stated I dislike someone because of the color of their skin, I have said I feel that a nation made up of too many cultures is doomed to fail eventually, but that's just because of internal differences, I never said, "I hate other cultures", Hell, I am an avid anime fdan, enjoy Russian Folk music, and like French cooking, not to mention I have always wanted to visit Egypt. If anyone's being biggoted, it's you people.

You are correct, racist was not the correct term, so let me rephrase.

You enjoy making the most discriminatory remarks dont you?

[Celestial.]

Just a warning, guys: stay on topic. This isn't the place for debates or arguments. If the discussion gets too heated, I may have to close this thread.

[Skeleton]

I love the fact that Born This Way is playing while I reply to this thread..

I honestly don't think it's a choice and the fact that people think it is, is ridiculous. I mean, you don't wake up one morning and decide "you know what, I'm going to be gay today" and I highly doubt anyone would willing decide to have to deal with homophobia and all the other things like coming out to parents and stuff. I believe that you're born that way, there is no choice about it.

[the.real]

Originally Posted by Sythan

You enjoy making the most racist and discriminatory remarks, don't you?

'tis an incorrect use of the word 'racist', my friend. But anyway, I'm totally straight, and I don't know why people think being gay is a choice. I couldn't imagine "choosing" to be gay one day. No. I was born straight and others were born gay. Some people are just ridiculous.

[Lost_Confused]

No, it is not a choice.
Hell, i liked girls and boys ever since i was a little, little girl.
But i didn't realize that they were both romantic feelings until a couple years later, and that it was "wrong" until i was told by my mom that liking someone from the same sex was wrong.
Which is utter bullshit. Then when i was 15 i found out that that was called bisexual, so i was just like OHHHH. Cool. Guess i'm bisexual. :3

But it's not a choice, we're born with it. It develops over time, but we're BORN WITH IT.

[Alicia.C]

It's far from being a choice! I'm sure some people would love to be able to say they're straight and mean it in fear of rejection from family, friends, church, etc. But it's not like that, it's not a choice. It's who you are, what you like, love is love.