Being Gay is a choice ?

[losing touch.]

i don't think it's a choice.
i'm not sure on the whole 'are people born gay?' nature/nurture argument.. but no, definitely not a choice. you're either gay or you're not.. don't just suddenly decide 'oh i'm gunna be gay.' na.

[Discombobulated]

I think very much that you can't realy help who you fall in love with. I don't think being gay or straight is really something we can control, but obviously we act upon our emotions. I think we are born with it and it develops as we mature.

[TheWhiteTornado]

I don't believe it's a choice. I mean there's Kinsey's spectrum of sexuality which would mean you're not just gay or straight, it's a range and some people choose to act on the heterosexual impulses while knowing they have some homosexual ones so I can understand why you'd think that. I really believe though that you have no choice as to where on the scale you fall, it's all just a matter of what impulses you act on and which ones you ignore.

[Eldora]

Being gay or bisexual or trans isn't a choice.

Look at it this way: Someone makes you a big, lovely fresh-from-the-oven strawberry pie with chocolate crust (or whatever your favorite food is) and sits it on the table in front of you. They cut you a nice slice of the pie and sit it on the table in front of you with a fork and knife, because they know you can't help but eat it.

You pick your fork up, and take a big bite of the pie.

So you're just sitting there, slowly chewing, enjoying it.

...

And someone takes it away from you! They sit it on the counter far away, and say: "Now. See this pie, that you've had a great, glorious taste of? You can't eat it anymore. Because it's a sin to be eating a pie. You have to eat this instead, and never, ever shall you touch that pie again, and you are to eat green beans for dessert every day for the rest of your life. Life will give you many other pies, but you mustn't touch them and most definately should not eat them or even look at them sideways. And you'll go to hell if you don't eat the green beans and ignore the pie. Understood?"

And they give you the green beans, and sit them on the table in front of you. Can you help it that you look longingly at the pie on the counter, when you're choking down the green beans, every day for the rest of your life? Can you help it that you absolutely do not want to eat those green beans, would rather just be their friend and eat the pie instead, because you like strawberry pie and not green beans?

No.

You can't.

And if you choose to stand up from the table, push away the green beans, say: "I'm not eating those," grab the pie, and scurry off to your bedroom to eat the damn thing in peace, then you will have to endure the loss of whoever tried to forcefeed you the pie, the loss of whoever learns that you don't like green beans but happen to like a food they deplore, and the loss of friendships that will never even begin, simply because you happened to be carrying the pie the day they first saw you.

Being gay isn't a choice, and it never will be. To all of you that say you wouldn't wish being gay or bisexual or trans upon anyone: I happen to object. I think every f***ing man and woman (pardon my French) who is homophobic or against gay rights should be struck with such a deep love for someone of the same sex that they can't help themselves.

And then let them try to tell me that I could never marry a girl unless I left the home I loved. And then let them tell me that my chances of adopting a kid or becoming the president of the United States (not that I'd want to be) are next to nothing because I happen to have a girlfriend, and then let them tell me that I can't set foot in a church and thereby run be away from my childhood religion because I'm not going to change who I am. And just let them tell me I can never be in the military and protect the f***ing family who would never except me in the first place because of my sexuality.

*smoothes ruffled feathers*

Let that be a lesson to you: Don't get me started, because I am a very, very longwinded person when riled.

[TheCrowing]

Before I started going out with my now girlfriend.. I hated the fact that I was gay. If it was a choice, I probably wouldn't have gone through the terrible period of self hatred. I tried "choosing" to be with guys, aha.. but that really.. REALLY.. didn't work out.

That's how I always explain it. Why would I have chosen something I hated so very much?

[ShadowDancing]

I'm so glad to see this thread - I hate when people insist that it's a choice. I've heard many straight people say it, and I disagree. Feelings are feelings, not decisions. If falling in love with a person isn't a choice, why is falling in love with a certain gender one?

[ShadowDancing]

Originally Posted by Eldora

Being gay or bisexual or trans isn't a choice.

Look at it this way: Someone makes you a big, lovely fresh-from-the-oven strawberry pie with chocolate crust (or whatever your favorite food is) and sits it on the table in front of you. They cut you a nice slice of the pie and sit it on the table in front of you with a fork and knife, because they know you can't help but eat it.

That's a deliciously accurate metaphor.

[Eldora]

Lol, thanks, Sam. Mainly I was just rattling, though.

[ThePunkAlien]

Being homosexual isn't a choice. Nor is being bisexual, really - but being openly "gay" is kinda a choice for bisexuals since we can go one way or another. I can openly say I'm straight, gay, and proud since it's more true to who I am. Just technically acknowledged that accepting all sides of who I am is a choice.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

I don't think it's black and white.

[Out of the dark.]

It's as much of a choice as being straight is. Which isn't a choice. Of course it's not a choice. If it was a choice, there would be fewer gay people, because no one wants to get beat up, shot at, or worse for being gay.

[Verità]

I don't think you choose to be gay. It's simply who you are. People might act like they're straight to "fit in" better in society, but you cant help who you're attracted to.

[Reverie.]

I think if being gay was a choice, we'd have much fewer gay people. My uncle (who is gay of course) used to get compasses stabbed into his legs, hands and arms because he was gay. I know for sure if this was happening to me and I had the choice to change and be straight, I would. There have been worse attacks on gay people too, and my argument is, why would anyone choose to have violence inflicted upon them, if they could choose to otherwise 'fit in' and have none?

[sassygurlone]

No it is not a choice, not at all. We are born this way.

[Cosmo]

It's biological. Just like there's genes etc. that make us straight, the same applies to being gay.