Feelings on the word "dyke"

[Beth.]

Every since I came out as being bi, whenever I've had a fight with anyone they throw this word at me. No matter what. And not only am I sick of it because it offends me, but I like guys. The word seems so offending to me, I don't know why. I know les girls who call themselves this or their friends and its no big deal. So how do you feel about it? Maybe state your orientation cause I'd like to see how it pans out but you don't have to obviously.

[her_beautiful_mistake]

I use it all the time. But to me it doesn't describe a lesbian, it describes a certain type of lesbian..

Shane from the L word.



Or, if I google image "stereotypical lesbian", I think I'll probably get a dyke:



(I also got Justin Bieber, mega lol)

Typically short hair, possibly dyed some random colour like pink or purple, tomboy-esque dress.

It's used within (at least my) LGBT community to describe a certain type of lesbian girl, and certainly not as an insult. I don't consider the word an insult, however, I would be annoyed if someone called me "dyke" (within my community) because I am not that type of lesbian (also, not a lesbian, but bah people do assume when you have a girlfriend) -- not because they're calling me a lesbian. I think they do it to wind it up because they know it's not only not my look but also reallllly not what is attractive for me. I'm never going to live down the quote "nothing wrong with being a lesbian, everything wrong with looking like one" lol, considering 80% of my LGBT friends are dyke-ey lesbians, thankfully they have a sense of humour!

The other word used to describe lesbians is femme (best describes me, although I don't particularly like the word 'femme'. I just don't like how it sounds. Also don't like the word lesbian. But I'm just strange). Or lipstick lesbian. I know the terminology can get tedious and pointless but meh, useful to know. Femme - normally a feminine lesbian who likes dykes. Lipstick lesbian - feminine lesbian who likes other feminine lesbians. Often used interchangeably though.

Normally the type of lesbians you can't tell are gay, whereas really you can spot a "dyke" a mile off.

like Dana from the l word



Or Helena.




So no I don't consider the word an insult. It's thrown around a lot within my LGBT circles. as with everything of course it depends on the way the word is used and who is using it. If it is random people at school shouting "DYKE" at you then yeah I can see why that would be upsetting -- its being used as an insult.

[originalcyn]

in short, i agree with rachel. "dyke" isn't supposed to be used as an insulting word, but most people outside of the LGBT community don't understand the terminology. i'm sorry that people are so ignorant as to use this in a fight with you.

(oh, and i'm straight, but a big supporter of the LGBT community!)

[Reverie.]

I'm straight, but I don't agree with words such as 'dyke' and such being used against people as an insult. I don't think it's meant in that particular way a lot of the time, but the fact people use it against your sexuality makes it a bad word. It's like faggot, in my opinion. I can't stand it when people call gay people faggots, it gets me worked up over it.

I guess its a matter of opinion though.

[TheCrowing]

A lot of lesbians I know use the word more or less to stop it from hurting them. Kind of like.. Chubby kids always make fun of themselves a bit and get laughs out of being chubby, when it might actually hurt them coming from the wrong people. I happen to do both. =P

[Sythan]

Well, it is meant as a derogatory term for Lesbian, but a lot of Lesbians use the term, ever hear of "Dykes on Bikes"? They are a bunch of butch lesbians (AKA: Dykes) that ride motorcycles in the Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco every year.

[Beth.]

I realize the links that Rachel made. I know that there are femme and "dyke" lesbians. But I think overall, whether its being used in a joke, casually with friends, or in my case as an insult it all sounds wrong. But I see where you guys are coming from. And I've seen what your talking about too Courtney.

[Celestial.]

Personally, I think it all depends on context, and how the term is meant. As some of the others have pointed out, while it can be used in a derogatory sense, many lesbians have claimed it as their own and given it a positive connotation for that. So, if it's used deliberately as an insult, I don't like it, but if it's meant in a light-hearted way, particularly by self-confessed 'dykes', then I think it's okay.

[LittleMissOneBigMess]

I find it to be the female version of "faggot", i find the word faggot abosultly disgusting, so I really don't like the word dyke. but i think it depends how you use it, one my lesbian friends uses it all the time to describe herself, i really only don't like the word dyke if you are using it to insult/hurt/humilate someone else.

[Soliloquy]

Personally, I don't like it, and I wouldn't use it to describe myself or others. I understand that some lesbians have no qualms with using it, just as long as it's not an insult, but to me personally, it sounds rather crude and distasteful.