I need some help... please!

[ineedhelp12]

Hello, i am just an average, 15 year old male. I really need some help with a couple of things.

First off, right now i currently describe myself as straight. Im pretty much only interested in girls. Let me start off with a little story...

so last year, during the summer in July, i was browsing my formspring. Someone kept asking me if i was gay/whatever and i said no, why do you want to know, etc. but then they tell me something.

"your probably only saying that because you know deep down inside you have gay thoughts." and for some reason it really struck me. i guess sometimes i do (although i dont want to recall them). and even to this day, not one day goes by where i ask myself, "am i bisexual?"

fast forward to about a month ago....

i ordered pizza for my family. wait about an hour... the pizza man comes.
here is where it gets serious.

i look at the pizza man, and for some reason (even though i didnt mean it) i thought, "oh he's cute." and i got really scared, infact i even started to blush. i was so scared i didnt know what was going on. ever since then the thought of being bi almost never escaped me. i mean, i only like girls, but why would i think that a GUY, a GUY was "cute?" i didnt even mean it, but why did i think it? it doesnt bug me much now, but it still really scared me.

fast forward to about now.
there is this girl i kind of liked, but i could always tell she liked me back (or more like she confused me, i couldnt really tell but i thought she didnt).

here's the catch: she wouldve rather hung out with a GAY guy then me, which really struck me. yeah they knew eachother for a while but it still really bugged me.

now, for some reason, i always think of that guy's name. we will call him person A. for the past maybe 2 or 3 days, i always think of his name, and maybe an image of him, for about a second, than it fades. and it scares me, why am i thinking of a gay person so much? in fact once he snook into the school, into my class to talk to 2 of his friends, and for some reason i could feel myself blush a little. i didnt know if it was because of him or what(i surely hope it wasnt....) although i do naturally blush.

so i was wondering if someone could help me with all of this? it really saddens/angers me - a year ago i wouldve NEVER even considered the thought of being bi, and now it never escapes my mind.

i should also note that all my friends pretty much gay/bi bash whenever they hear of those kinds of people, so i havent talked about it to any of them yet. all i want to do is to be able to stop thinking these gay thoughts, about these gay people, about being bi in the first place? i just want to be my straight, normal self again without worrying about all of this. i really hope it's just insane overthinking

[heather_tate19]

I'm straight too, and for me, it's okay to think if someone your own gender is cute/hot as long as you know what you like. Sometimes I see girls and I think they are gorgeous, they have a nice body, etc, but I wouldn't want to date them because I'm not into girls like that, and it's guys/men (like my ochem II professor) who 'charge my batteries' if you know what I mean .

Don't let that one person decide what you are. You know what you are attracted to/what turns you on.

As for the blushing, maybe it's because you couldn't help but think about when you thought he was cute. I think you're thinking too much about this whole thing. Take a step back and relax.

It sounds to me like you are a little insecure with your sexuality, which is perfectly normal, especially around your age. I'm not going to tell you you are straight or gay, because only you know that for sure. I would try to expand your friend network, get to know other people, and most importantly, know that it IS OKAY TO BE GAY. It's just you KNOWING and being able to tell the difference that will make you more comfortable with your sexuality, whatever it may be, because you're the one who will know in the end.

[ineedhelp12]

Originally Posted by heather_tate19

I'm straight too, and for me, it's okay to think if someone your own gender is cute/hot as long as you know what you like. Sometimes I see girls and I think they are gorgeous, they have a nice body, etc, but I wouldn't want to date them because I'm not into girls like that, and it's guys/men (like my ochem II professor) who 'charge my batteries' if you know what I mean .

Don't let that one person decide what you are. You know what you are attracted to/what turns you on.

As for the blushing, maybe it's because you couldn't help but think about when you thought he was cute. I think you're thinking too much about this whole thing. Take a step back and relax.

It sounds to me like you are a little insecure with your sexuality, which is perfectly normal, especially around your age. I'm not going to tell you you are straight or gay, because only you know that for sure. I would try to expand your friend network, get to know other people, and most importantly, know that it IS OKAY TO BE GAY. It's just you KNOWING and being able to tell the difference that will make you more comfortable with your sexuality, whatever it may be, because you're the one who will know in the end.

i didnt really mean it when i though that the person was "cute" rather i just had the thought.

im interested in girls, so its not about being gay, but bisexual. i dont want to
be interested in guys like that.

but it saddens and depresses me to be caught in this situation

i just want to like girls and girls only!

[heather_tate19]

ok...soo...like girls and girls only. talk about girls, think about girls, find out your favorite characteristics of girls and flirt with girls! ...hopefully that helps!

also, just don't think about boys that way. You don't need to like boys (like I said before, it is possible for you to decide. I don't think it's possible to wake up one day and call yourself gay or bisexual. From what I've experienced, it's the people who have been uncomfortable their whole life about their sexuality and it's just the coming out part. You on the other hand, only thought about this a few months ago and you're letting this person get to you), but just remember that they are your friends, people for you to talk to and have something in common with.

Does all that make sense? am I helping at all??? :/

[Sythan]

Sounds like you are Bisexual.

I am sorry that this is not the answer you wanted, but it may very well be who you are. You cannot change it, just like the fact I cannot change being gay even if I wanted to. I was born this way, and I accept it.

As for your friends, you may want a different choice. One because of who you may be, and because they sound like assholes anyway.

If you have any other questions or concerns, I can answer them, just ask.

[ineedhelp12]

Originally Posted by heather_tate19

ok...soo...like girls and girls only. talk about girls, think about girls, find out your favorite characteristics of girls and flirt with girls! ...hopefully that helps!

also, just don't think about boys that way. You don't need to like boys (like I said before, it is possible for you to decide. I don't think it's possible to wake up one day and call yourself gay or bisexual. From what I've experienced, it's the people who have been uncomfortable their whole life about their sexuality and it's just the coming out part. You on the other hand, only thought about this a few months ago and you're letting this person get to you), but just remember that they are your friends, people for you to talk to and have something in common with.

Does all that make sense? am I helping at all??? :/

Yeah i guess. I just have to stop over thinking it right?
I tend to over think a lot of things by the way.

Originally Posted by Sythan

Sounds like you are Bisexual.

I am sorry that this is not the answer you wanted, but it may very well be who you are. You cannot change it, just like the fact I cannot change being gay even if I wanted to. I was born this way, and I accept it.

As for your friends, you may want a different choice. One because of who you may be, and because they sound like assholes anyway.

If you have any other questions or concerns, I can answer them, just ask.

Can you answer why? I would never really date guys and im not sexually interested in them....

I have always wondered if this might just be my hormones messing with me. I mean, i am only 15 and still going through puberty... could it be that? like a bicurious phase? like i just wonder what its like?

[enfantreve]

It might be a bicurious stage. It might be that you are bisexual. There's really no way of knowing for sure until you expand your friend network and start exploring your feelings more. But you seem so wrapped up in the idea that bisexuality is "wrong" or "abnormal" and somehow I get the idea you yourself are a homophobe. If it turns out that you are bisexual, it's OKAY!! Totally natural. Homosexuality exists in over 100 species in the animal kingdom. Homophobia only exists in one.

[ineedhelp12]

Originally Posted by enfantreve

It might be a bicurious stage. It might be that you are bisexual. There's really no way of knowing for sure until you expand your friend network and start exploring your feelings more. But you seem so wrapped up in the idea that bisexuality is "wrong" or "abnormal" and somehow I get the idea you yourself are a homophobe. If it turns out that you are bisexual, it's OKAY!! Totally natural. Homosexuality exists in over 100 species in the animal kingdom. Homophobia only exists in one.

So basically, just make more friends and see how my feelings develop?

That sounds like a good idea...

[Reverie.]

To me, it doesn't sound like you're deffinatly gay or bisexual. It's possible that you could be of course, but many girls will look at another girl and think 'shes really pretty' and not be bi or gay in the slightest. It doesn't mean anything. The thinkign about the gay guy thing just kinda' seems like you're a bit jealous. You like this girl, and she's spending time with another guy, who can blame you for being jealous?

If yuo are bi though, so what? Accept yourself. For now don't worry about titles. Like who you like. After all it's not your choice or falt as to what sexuality you have.

[ineedhelp12]

Originally Posted by Safe-inside-my-head

To me, it doesn't sound like you're deffinatly gay or bisexual. It's possible that you could be of course, but many girls will look at another girl and think 'shes really pretty' and not be bi or gay in the slightest. It doesn't mean anything. The thinkign about the gay guy thing just kinda' seems like you're a bit jealous. You like this girl, and she's spending time with another guy, who can blame you for being jealous?

If yuo are bi though, so what? Accept yourself. For now don't worry about titles. Like who you like. After all it's not your choice or falt as to what sexuality you have.

Yeah i guess im just jealous.
Im very thankful to all of you for your replies! Thank you all very much

[Sythan]

Originally Posted by ineedhelp12

I have always wondered if this might just be my hormones messing with me. I mean, i am only 15 and still going through puberty... could it be that? like a bicurious phase? like i just wonder what its like?

Much like Anthony suggested, expand your network of friends, include everyone Gay, Bisexual, Lesbian, and maybe even Transgender if there are any in your school. This is to make sure of who you are, to see if you have an interest in them.