Scared....?

[colie18]

So... I am in the process of coming to terms with being bisexual... but I am scared... very scared to be more specific. I know that one day I want a husband and a family.. a big family maybe 5 to 6 kids... BIG. I know I like guys... i lean towards guys more. I have wanted to be a mom ever since I was a little girl...and I still do! I am putty when it comes to babies... I LOVE THEM!!! My fear is that when I do have kids and I do have a husband.. I know I want a husband my dream since I was little once again. My thing is... what if I'm not bi? Is it possible I could be bicurious? I know i kinda (i say that tightly...im not too sure) that I like girls...

What if my "husband" divorces me... or hates me because I am bi? Im afraid because I am not too sure on what is going to happen... it is really scaring me... I think of me having kids and having a husband and then my child comes out being bi or gay... and I accept of course... but they don't know that I am bi myself... ugggg sooo much!

What if I never tell my husband, kids, or my family (besides my cousin...she is like my sister and already knows) is that a good thing?

I know I am only 16... but I am already thinking of these things... please help me! Am I bi? or do I think I am but I am not... I feel ashamed of myself for thinking of these things!!!

I just know my dream is to have a big family... and a husband... like I said i lean towards guys more!!! Please Please help me!

Also do you think it was stupid of me to tell 11 people (only 11 people know... that includes my 3 best friends....a safe group that has 6 people in it... a reallllly close friend and my cousin who is like a sister to me...) because what if I am not bi and i have to tell them im not.. i would feel really bad!!!

Please help!!!!!

[Soliloquy]

Hey Nicole,

Coming to grips with your sexuality can be a tough thing. I understand your concerns. When I first began to question my sexuality, I was kind of scared too, because I always thought that I would marry a man. It sounds, though, that you're quite confident in your attraction to guys, which is good if that's what you want.

It's up to you whether or not you tell your future boyfriend/husband or children. A lot of people are becoming more accepting of the LGBT community, so I'd say you have a good chance in finding a guy who'd be okay with it. As for divorcing you, if you told him early on in the relationship, then you wouldn't have to worry about him finding out later and leaving you because of it. If you find someone and you are completely devoted to him, then you may not feel it's relevant. However, I also know that keeping it a secret can feel like hiding a part of yourself, and if that is the case, I'd recommend talking to a boyfriend about it earlier in your relationship so that he has time to digest the news.

There are a lot of bi women and men who are happily married in heterosexual relationships. Some people are very open with their spouses about their sexuality. It's okay to be bi and to be married to a man. It doesn't make you any less "bi," if that's what you feel you are.

Try not to be ashamed of yourself for thinking these things. Many teens and adults do. It's not abnormal. As for telling friends, sexuality is a fluid thing and it can change. If you find out later that you don't actually think you're bi, tell them. I'm sure they'll understand. Maybe, though, you should wait to tell some other people until you're absolutely sure of yourself.

I hope this helps! Take care and best of luck!

[colie18]

That clears a lot of things up... I know that I like guys.. I have fallen in love with a guy.. and to tell you the truth... even though we are over... i still think I am in love.. its hard to fall out of love. I haven't fallen in love with a girl.. but you never know. This really helps me! I want to thank you for the help! It really does help!

[evans_x]

You relate to me in so many ways! I know what it's like not being sure if you're bi or not because I was bicurious at one stage. I told my mum and she pointed a lot of things out for me like, she didn't believe I could possibly be bi because I liked guys waaay too much! It's all just a phase really, you need to try it to know I think. And if you want to marry and have kids and everything, all you can do is be honest and they should accept you for who you are (: but I think if you want a huge family and a husband than you may just be bicurious. I hope you figure it all out (: x