...wait, what?

[Euphoria]

Ok Thursday I went on a "lady date" with my friend from work. (N). It was fabulous. It was just us two. Then we went back to her house to kill time before we had to be at work. O. M. F. G. I had thoughts running through my head 100 mph! Gahh!!!! And she's 100% STRAIGHT!!

So today I was chatting with a friend from work on facebook. She graduated last year but came by work today. We didn't get a chance to really talk. But anyways....

She asked if I had a guy. I said no, I told her about how my last relationship ended, said I haven't had a guy since. That I have other stuff I gotta figure out. Told her that's what I wanted to talk to her about. Told her I'm questioning my sexuality. She said that's what college is about. Self discovery. She said it's cool and not to worry about it.

Then I told her about having thoughts whenever I'm hanging out with our friend N from work. She told me she doesn't "roll that way". I said I knew.

We chatted for a few. Then she told me not to worry about anything. Just "don't announce it". I asked what she meant. She said "not to make it obvious". I asked if she meant about me questioning or about N. She said both and to "not make any moves". After that she had to go for dinner.

WHAT? anyone wanna help me out here? I'm so very confused!

[Jaguar]

She sounds like a good friend who isn't freaked by your thoughts. It looks like you can talk to her about it frankly.

From some polls I ran I found out that about half of people have had some sexual contact with someone of the same sex, so your feelings aren't unusual at all. Yeah, don't make it obvious and if you have the opportunity you can do some experimenting with someone you like and not feel bad about it.

[Soliloquy]

Konton,

I can't tell you with absolute certainty what your friend meant. My guess is that she knows that N is straight (like you said) and wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable if a girl tried to make a move on her. (Not that you would make her feel that way intentionally, or even try to make a move on her with the knowledge that she doesn't "roll that way.") As for her "don't announce it" comment, she may know something you don't (for example, N or some of the employees at your job are homophobic). Or, she could just be trying to protect you blindly from discrimination within the workplace. Typically, I recommend not shouting your sexuality from the rooftops until you have a good idea that that's what you are (gay, bi, etc.). There's certainly nothing wrong with being any of those, but why go through the discomfort of coming out if you're not 100% sure? You can tell your close friends, but maybe you don't want to tell everybody just yet. Could that be what your friend was getting at?

If it's really bugging you, you might want to ask your friend personally why she doesn't think it's a good idea to show that you're questioning your sexuality.

Best of luck!