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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lost in Thought Offline
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I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 03:04 PM

I did it! I finally told my gf of four years that I am gay. I explained in my last post more, but it had to happen, she thought we were going to live together and get married, and I did too for a little while. But I am 21, so is she, and it wasn't right to continue. She was surprised, and heart broken, she cried, I cried, we both have balled multiple times in the past 24 hours, I work 3rd shift so haven't slept yet.

I am emotionally exhausted. Im doing my best not to lead her on out of guilt, because i do love her, just not in the right way. I could use some support. I am lacking on friends, and shes been my only support for awhile. Its not helpful if all I can do is cry when I try and talk to her.

Thanks, Justin
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 03:17 PM

well first congrats on coming out big step second explain you love her still you just not in love and you care about her and will always be there get some rest first though you dont want to be craky you want to be calm in this conversation good luck




Life is too

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It at war with

Yourself.

Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 05:14 PM

Man, well done. I have to admit, I wouldn't be able to do that especially after four years. Well done, really, I can't repeat myself enough.

I'm here if you need to chat, just pm me.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 05:25 PM

Wow, you're awesome for coming out to her! That takes sooooooo much strength.
You're a strong person, you know? I'm sorry that things are rough for you right now.
But on the flip side, I'm also glad you're figuring out who you are. <3


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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 05:36 PM

It's so amazing that you came out to her. After 4 years it must've been super difficult.
If you ever need to talk PM me. =)
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 18th 2011, 08:55 PM

Wow, Justin, I admire you a lot right now. That took so much courage to do! It was the right thing, as you seem to realize, but I understand it is hard breaking up with her after all these years. Give yourself and her some time to grieve over the relationship. After a little while, maybe you could talk it out and see if you can remain friends. But it's okay if you need some time to think. Just let her know that, and tell her that you would like to talk at some point.

Talking to her about this might not be easy, but it would probably be harder for you at this point, since the break-up is still fresh in your mind. If you're both crying while attempting to speak to each other, the conversation won't go much of anywhere anyway. Get it all out of your system first. We're here for you!

Again, this was very brave of you. Take care!
   
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 19th 2011, 01:30 PM

Thanks a lot everyone. It means a lot to me. I think things are slowly improving, its just hard trying to be there for her when she has almost nobody else. This is the worst feeling i've ever felt, as dramatic as it sounds its true, listening to her cry just flares so many emotions up at once. I regret it now, but I will be happier in the long run.

I told my mom last night too on a side note, i've never confided in her, but I knew she would at least pretend to accept. It was rather easy compared to my gf, and I couldn't keep the grin off my face when i said. She wasn't thrilled, but tried.

I am getting better at this, I have told easy ones, and the hardest people, excluding my dad, I see no benefit or purpose there. Soon you can call me 'Lost, Slayer of hopes and dreams.' Kidding, of course. its my turn to be selfish for once.
   
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Re: I came out to the one person who matters to me. Just need some support. - May 19th 2011, 11:25 PM

I applaud you for being so brave to tell her!
I think you should definitely talk to her more once things settle down and she's had time to process everything. The two of you can still build a great relationship as friends, and you can still be there for her. She probably just needed some time to think things over.
Good luck!


I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day. Take me to the place I love; take me far away.
~Under the Bridge~
   
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