Coming out

[theleftphalange]

Hi guys I'm Becky, I'm kind of new to this.
So I've known for a long time that I'm not straight, I've always had feelings for girls as well as guys. It's getting harder and harder for me to stay in the closet as I finally feel that I've reached a stage in my life where I have to be who I am now, or I'll be in the closet forever. My problem is that I'm afraid to come out. I think my mother already has her suspicions, I've kind of hinted at the subject and brought up 'gay' topics and she has generally reacted well, but I'm not sure how she'd feel if I did actually come out. I'm also from a relatively small town, everybody knows everybody, or so it seems, and as silly as it may sound, I am genuinely terrified of what people's reactions are going to be like. Small towns have the biggest mouths and I don't think I could handle the snide comments or the talking behind my back. Any ideas or help would be much appreciated, thanks guys

[SuperBrunetteCutie4Ever]

Personally I'd say come out! Even IF they talk about you use the quote I always use "I would rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I am not."

[Celestial.]

Hey Becky.

I think it's great you've reached the point where you're considering coming out. That shows that you've come to terms with who you are, and you're ready to share that with the world.

Coming out can be a tricky thing, not to mention terrifying. The thing is, you can never be entirely sure how someone will react to the news. You can have a rough idea, but people could surprise you. Your mother sounds like she might take it well, and she might be a good starting point. You don't have to come out to everyone at once - and in fact, that may not be the best way of going about things. Building a support network is very important - if some people do react badly, it's helpful to have people who support you, and can help you through it.

Chances are, if you came out to your mother, she'd still love you, and accept you. It may not have even crossed her mind that you're not straight. Most parents, even the most accepting and tolerant people, tend to make assumptions about their children, and are naturally surprised when these are proven wrong - such as when a child comes out as being gay, bisexual, or anything like that. So, she might be a little surprised at first, but she'll probably come around.

As for being in a small town, I can relate. I recently came out, and I live in a small town. I was worried about it, of course, but I felt it was the right thing to do - and it was, for me. I've received nothing but support, and I feel better for being out. I'm not saying it's necessarily what's right for you, but it may not be as bad as you think. In life, you're going to get people who disagree with you, or who dislike you - if it's not for your sexuality, it could be for something else. It's not about avoiding them, it's about dealing with them. If they want to treat you differently because of something you can't control, you shouldn't let it get to you. It's their problem, not yours. Be you, and be proud of that.

Overall, I'd say weigh the pros and cons and see which is best for you. What's the best possible outcome? The worst? What do you have to gain? Does it justify what you could lose?

Good luck, whatever you decide.

[Gooterz]

You should just come out people are going to react anyway, once your out your out

[Ancora Imparo]

Hey Becky,

I think it's great that you have reached the point in your life when you're so comfortable with yourself that you're ready to come out and be who you truly believe yourself to be. Self acceptance is one of the most difficult things in life that anybody will ever have to go through but it's one of the most rewarding things at the same time so I applaud you for that and I think you should be really proud of yourself.

In my opinion, you have to do what you feel is best for you because when it boils down to it, life is far too short. I understand what you're saying about being from a small town and everything but I think that it doesn't really matter whether you're from a big town or a small town because you'll never be able to please everybody and they will always have their own opinion but that's okay because you have to be true to yourself and be who you are. I'm sure that there will a bunch of people who will be really supportive of you and will respect you for being so strong and for being true to yourself.

I really hope that I have been able to help you in one way or another and if you ever feel like talking then feel free to either PM or VM me at any time as I'm always more than happy to talk.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

[RadkeLover]

I think you should come out, but only to certain people, like your family first, then depending on their reaction you could tell your trusted friends, then etc etc