Coming out to new people??

[bitesize]

Skip the first two paragraphs if they look a bit daunting.

I'm one of those bisexuals that people tend to assume are heterosexual upon first meeting, or until told otherwise. I'm girly and femme and have a long-term boyfriend. This isn't a huge issue right now as I'm in a relationship but when I've gotten to know some new people for a while and my sexuality has never come up in conversation, I feel oddly uncomfortable that they think I'm straight, like I'm being dishonest or something ~ to myself or to them, I don't know.

My secondary school was mixed, and renowned for being fairly alternative and very accepting of differences,so I was lucky enough never to have a lot of trouble coming out to my peers. But in university things are a bit different ~ a lot of people have some more trouble accepting different orientations. I have this major fear of starting to make friends with a girl, then her finding out I'm bisexual and finding the whole thing too weird and freaky for her to want to be friends with me. And of course, assuming that because I'm being friendly to her, I must fancy her. I'm going away in a week with a girl from my class and we'll be sharing a room. We're friendly but not yet 100% relaxed around each other, but I don't fancy her in any way (sure don't I have a boyfriend anyway!!) I don't know if she knows I'm bi as it's never blatantly come up in conversation. I don't know her stance on lesbianism ~ would she not give a shite or would it freak her out and make her not want to share a room with me, wear a bikini in front of me, etc?? Equally I'm worried that if she finds out in a few months' time that I'm bi, she'll feel weird that she never knew while we were spending time together. I do like this girl and want to be friends with her and not have her feel awkward around me,but at the same time I don't want to have to hide my real identity from her forever.


^^This got a lot longer and self-absorbed than I meant it too, my apologies!! Basically I want to know if you're like me, and people tend to assume you're straight...how do you come out to them?? Do you drop gradual hints or just blurt out that you're bi/gay?? Any experiences??

[TheCrowing]

Personally, I'm not the best at coming out, but I don't exactly just blurt it out. I'll usually gradually bring it up, or bring my gay best friend up.. See what the person says. And mention that I'm with someone. Eventually they comment and say something about going out or mention my "boyfriend", and I usually casually answer them by starting with..

"My girlfriend..." or "My ex-girlfriend..." or "Oh, there's this girl...."

I'd say that you should just bring a few LGBT related things around this girl, just to see what her response is. If her response isn't negative, you should just casually tell her when you feel comfortable.

[bitesize]

Thanks. The thing is that it's not like I have a lot of ex-girlfriends to refer to!!But maybe I'll find something (: x

[TheCrowing]

Lol, that could be a good thing though. I'm sure you'll find something. =]