Coming out to roommate

[TheCrowing]

Simple question.

I'm going to be starting college in the fall, and I'd like to know some opinions on when or if I should come out to my roommate. It's a bit obvious that I'm not into men, but for an official coming out kind of thing.. When should I do it? Or should I just not do it at all unless I know 100% that she would be okay with it?

I don't mind not telling her all year, but that's such a huge part of my life.. and I'm also living with this person for 9 or 10 months. Any suggestions?

[Raylolo]

Originally Posted by TheCrowing

Simple question.

I'm going to be starting college in the fall, and I'd like to know some opinions on when or if I should come out to my roommate. It's a bit obvious that I'm not into men, but for an official coming out kind of thing.. When should I do it? Or should I just not do it at all unless I know 100% that she would be okay with it?

I don't mind not telling her all year, but that's such a huge part of my life.. and I'm also living with this person for 9 or 10 months. Any suggestions?

I am actually in the same position. Did your college send you anything asking you about yourself when you applied for housing? If they did and it was in depth I would assume they asked you if you were comfortable with LGBT or have a lot of LGBT friends. They use that information to select a roommate, so hopefully they sent you something like that or will in the future.

If the above did not happen, I would get her opinions on LGBT. For example, you could bring up a big news item about LGBT. Since Gay Marriage just passed in New York, I suggest that. You can always contact them before rooming with them too. Usually a college will send you information on who your roommate is and how to contact them. I advise doing that. It's a lot easier to talk to people online. Plus if you notice she has a problem with it, you may be able to switch your roommate before college even starts.

[bitesize]

I actually posted a similar thread last night, although I'll only be living with this person for two weeks!!Maybe it would be best to just say it straight away??x

[bitesize]

Ok, after reading your reply on my thread, I see that that mightn't be the best advice for you!! Maybe do what you advised me and drop little hints here and there, refer to an ex, etc??
I definitely think you should do it. I think it's better to let her know straight away than to keep putting off coming out to her. You'll feel more comfortable if you're honest.x

[TheCrowing]

I know my way of coming out to others, but it's just the whole.. timing thing that I want to get right. My friend and her roommate are dorming together for the 2nd year in a row, and she's still not out. I don't want to be that person. Aha. I mean, I am going to school in NYC, so it is a bit more open. No worries there, and the school has a huge LGBT center. It's not the support or the way.. it's more or less the timing.

Also, the college did not ask that. I would think that a school in the city should, or would. Just simple questions. night/day, visitors/none, older/same/younger, smoker/non.. etc. Very basic and general. I've hung out with a bunch of the kids going there this fall too, and a few of them are actually bisexual, so I'm not like, the only one. I guess because it's also an engineering school, and I'm like.. 1 of like.. 75 girls (about 15% women in the school), I don't want to mess anything up and be friendless. Most of the guys wouldn't mind (lol), but I do.. and I want friends that are girls too. Some of them are coming from conservative backgrounds, and I don't want to be the girl with the most homophobic roommate in the world.

Maybe this is more or less excitement/anxiety/fear than anything. Me worrying about my roommate.

[vegprincess]

I have lived in a dorm for two years and have been out of the closet for three years so perhaps I can help. I never told my room mates I was gay, they figured it out by themselves. I had a safespaces sticker on my desk, a pride button on my backpack and a little pride flag in my room. I introduced them to my partner and they knew I was a part of the campus group for LGBT people.

[ledalove]

Just tell her from the start, If you wait until the end of the year it may not go very well.

[TheCrowing]

Originally Posted by ledalove

Just tell her from the start, If you wait until the end of the year it may not go very well.

I've been thinking about doing that. I just have to wait to see what she's like. Lol, there are a lot of international students.. so I don't know how the whole LGBT scene is presented in, let's say.. India or Singapore (the 2 more popular areas).

[ledalove]

Originally Posted by TheCrowing

I've been thinking about doing that. I just have to wait to see what she's like. Lol, there are a lot of international students.. so I don't know how the whole LGBT scene is presented in, let's say.. India or Singapore (the 2 more popular areas).

Oh yes, I see what your saying. I guess that would be a good idea. I hope all goes well !