Female Advice Preferred: Liking my teacher

[DivingCheska]

The reason this is in this section is because I am a lesbian and this has to do with that but if you want to move it you can.

First of all I have figured out that the age difference between me and someone I am going to date as of right now is about 7 years maybe all the way to 10 but that depends. Anyways on to why I am posting.

I like my englih teacher and I know I am not going to do anything about it, and I have known that for over a year because I had her last year too. I thought she was in her late 30's even though she doesn't look it at all but yesterday I found out that she is almost 50 and I was just wondering since that is a 20 year gap is liking her something to worry about? I mean like I said I a not going to do anything about it at all but I just want to know if that makes e crazy or not.

Any advise would be great

[Dr.Bobby]

Hi Frankie,

I'm a guy, but b/c I'm a psychologist I hope this means your preference for gals only doesn't apply to me! I have other qualifications that might be of use to you.

First, it's not at all uncommon to develop feelings for teachers. They're in positions of authority, they have responsibility over you, and in a way, they take care of you. The fact that she's older than you thought doesn't diminish those highly symbolic, yet very powerful emotional triggers. For whatever reason, you are particularly susceptible to them, and that is the issue. As you know, sexuality isn't about lust or arousal (that can be part of it), but rather a deeper emotional attachment. And, that's what you're experiencing here.

So, it wouldn't be a good idea to approach her with your feelings, as a professional, we'd expect her to politely (yet perhaps devastatingly) turn you down. And, on a deeper level, you'd actually expect and want that, good role models have first and foremost an appreciation of their roles in their charges lives (aka 'good boundaries') which here would mean she's the teacher and you're the student and never the twain shall meet. So, what's best here is probably to enjoy her and all she provides for you (a sense of safety and nurturance) in a private way, that doesn't risk ruining what you have and enjoy.