I've considered myself gay for a while but I have feelings for a Girl

[Nitro]

Hi Guys, I'm kind of confused about a topic that I wasn't confused about for a while.
I'm a guy and I'm Seventeen and I've considered myself gay since I was 13 or something. I didn't have a problem with it, I don't have a problem with it even now.
But now I have feelings for a girl that I've known for a lot of years, she's the kind of person I'd be with for a long time, we're that kind of best guy-girl friends, we have a ton in common and even if we don't see each other for a year it feels like no time.
I don't feel sexually attracted to her or by any girl as a matter of fact, but I think I'm growing feelings on girls too.

It's like I'd want guys for sex and girls for love but that doesn't make any sense at all, does that make me asexual? I don't care about badges but I want to know what's going on with me, I wish I could jump the fence to guys with love or the other way with girls.

[Dr.Bobby]

Nitro, just answered your other post, this one makes sense now! Or is it that one does?

Lots of different opinions on this, but sexuality is more about how you see and experience yourself, not others. It's the term "-Sexuality", it confuses a lot of people, they equate it with arousal. And while that's a part of it, it's mostly an emotional thing, it's about attachment. It's confusing and lengthy, at some point if there's enough support I'll attempt an article on it. But for now, think more about how you feel about yourself, rather than the girl.

Also, being gay (or straight, ftm) doesn't mean you cannot have close, loving relationships with members of the opposite gender, it just means that it's a lot different to you, you prefer (or need) to be closest with same sex people, there's a deeper sense of attachment and trust. Again, it's more about how you feel about you, (not them), how you feel about yourself when you're with them.

There are times when it's a lot easier to give advice, and I think your case presents that way: You might consider here being with this new person because you like her and your curiosity about yourself (how you feel) is being aroused. We define ourselves in many ways thru the relationships we have and the many new experiences and feelings that come up. This is an excellent chance to better help define yourself, and answer some important questions, too! Just stay away from the need to define this in any way, she's just a person in your life, a friend. And see where it goes.

[chemical.fate]

No joke this exact same thing happened to me over the summer and its was tearing me up inside because i was in love with my bestfriend who is a girl but i wasn't sexually attracted to her. i know it really sucks but i think u should sit down with this girl and talk to her about how u feel thats what i did and i felt so much better

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

I can't tell you what your sexuality is, but I can give you my opinion about what's going on here.

First off, sexuality and preferences can change. Liking guys at one point in your life doesn't mean you always will, so it's possible that your feelings are simply changing and you might be becoming attracted to girls too. Or it could just be an emotional attachment, and while you really like her as a friend, that's as far as it goes. It can help to take some time just to think things over.

What you've described doesn't sound like being asexual; closer to bisexual, actually, but it's not necessary to label things. I know how frustrating it can be to be 'on the fence', but it's not something you can help. If that's the way you feel, then you're going to have to get used to it; trying to force yourself to feel an emotional attraction to guys or a sexual attraction to girls will probably make things worse.

As Shawn said, maybe you could try talking to your friend about this? Or talking to somebody else who's close to you. Talking things through with somebody who knows you can really help sort things out.

I wish you all the best.

[Sythan]

Sexuality is extremely flexible, and is a very grey issue. It is possible to be homoflexible (gay with straight tendencies), bisexual but with more feelings for one gender than the other, or your gay but you just like this one girl.

It could be any of these, or none of them. It's what you ultimately decide.

[Boxy]

This is a fairly simplistic answer... but you don't need sex with someone to love them and you don't need to love someone to have sex with them (though not everyone considers the later on "moral"). It's not necessarily a certain gender you are interested in. When you meet the right person you will have love for them, and sexual attraction. In the mean time, don't worry about whether you like guys or girls (as there's an exception to everything).

Hope this helped at least a little,
Boxy