I don't know my sexuality :(

[Skyness]

I think I have/had a crush on a girl. It's pretty similar to a "girl crush", but for some reason I get turned on when I think about her. Ive never had these feelings for any boys, but I've had a boyfriend before. It was nice holding his hand, but it felt more like "family touching". It felt wrong kissing or cuddling with him. I only get turned on by gay porn. I'm also kind of girly. This makes me so confused.

[Ambush_Reality]

Sexuality is confusing. But you like what you like, you love who you love. Having feelings for a girl doesn't make you gay or even bisexual. Most straight people at some point in there life will feel attracted to someone of the same sex. Most gay people will at some point in there life feel attracted to someone of a different sex. I hate labels, it just makes it easier to explain things I guess. For example, I say I'm bisexual because it's easier to explain. I know Im capable of loving anyone. I guess you could say I'm pansexual but most people don't know what that means. I think I put a label on my sexuality for the benefit of others. Don't worry about fitting in, trust me. Be yourself

[Dr.Bobby]

Originally Posted by ilikepeople

Sexuality is confusing. But you like what you like, you love who you love. Having feelings for a girl doesn't make you gay or even bisexual. Most straight people at some point in there life will feel attracted to someone of the same sex. Most gay people will at some point in there life feel attracted to someone of a different sex. I hate labels, it just makes it easier to explain things I guess. For example, I say I'm bisexual because it's easier to explain. I know Im capable of loving anyone. I guess you could say I'm pansexual but most people don't know what that means. I think I put a label on my sexuality for the benefit of others. Don't worry about fitting in, trust me. Be yourself

^ Nicely said!

Sexuality is much more about how you see and feel and experience yourself, than what you feel for others. It's the "-sexuality" part that's confusing, it's assumed to be arousal. That's part of it, for sure, but before that comes the emotional things we feel (and ultimately know) about ourselves.

That said, teens=puberty=hormones=arousal. Lots of it, and it's often distracting. We feel a lot, and it's easy to misinterpret the signals, but what'
s felt is often just caused by that rush of hormones, i';s not necessarily a signal of who you actually are.

Give it time, try not to deal with the ambiguity (and anxiety) by trying to label something that's still not clear. With time, everyone is able to acknowledge who they are.

[Verità]

While it's not mandatory to label yoursaelf, I understand it can be frustrating to not know something about yourself. I'm going to take this post a bit at a time.

Having a crush on a girl doesn't immediately make you anything. Lots of people often find themselves attracted to people outside of their sexuality. A friend of mine is straight, but at one point, she did have a crush on a girl. For her, it was just an exception to her general sexuality, and she still identifies as straight. This could be your case, or it might not. My advice is to give it some time, and see if you develop any crushes on any other girls, as well as your sexual attractions. I had several boyfriends myself before I finally clued into the fact that I was a lesbian.

However, I don't want you to immediatly jump to conclusions from that, either. Kissing and cuddling with that boy might have only felt wrong because he was the wrong boy for you. You could try things out with another boy if you want to, and feel comfortable enough to do so.

Also, don't worry about what turns you on. I'm a lesbian, but typically only straight porn turns me on, which I find highly ironic. And what is it about being girly that confuses you? Have you ever heard of the term "lipstick"? It's typically tacked on in front of lesbian, but it's used to describe women attracted to other women, but aren't "butch".

Just be patient with yourself. Sooner or later, you will figure out what it is that you like. Just remember to be patient, and observe yourself and your reactions to different stimulus from both males and females. Hope this helped!

[SnowKitten]

Verita and ilikepeople really put it best, I'd just like to add on that if you feel you must put a label, unsure is a good one, queer is an amazing word, and 'still defining' is a phrase I've heard kids in high school use a lot. c: