aDvICe PLeAse!!!!

[Aria67]

So I really, really need some advice. I have wracked my brain for weeks and I still do not know what to do. I am a 20 year old junior in college, i have a boyfriend of a little over 2 years, and I am bi (yes he knows). I recently transferred colleges and went from living at home to living in a dorm, which I share with 3 other girls. I planned to start fresh at this new college, just be myself, and be open about my sexuality. As you have already probably gathered things did not go quite as I hoped they would have.


My roommates and I are very close and are really good friends with each other. Seriously, I could not ask for better people to live with. However, I am not sure how things would be if they knew I was bi. I have a feeling they might not be all that comfortable with having a “non-straight” roommate. Just some of the things they have already said, in the general conversations we have had together, make it seem like if I say anything it may change their views on me, and possibly change the way the act around me or treat me. I think things might get a little awkward if they know and I try to compliment them on how nice they look or make changing and getting dolled up to go to the club awkward.



I guess here are the three things I am asking for advice on...



1) How can I tell my roommates I am bi without having it be an awkward conversation like “Sorry for not telling you sooner, but I’m bi.”?



2) Would telling my roommates change the way they treat me and view me, and ruin our friendships?



3) Would the fact that I have a boyfriend help any of this not be awkward and/or help not ruin my friendships with my roommates?



Any advice/input is very much appreciated!!! ThANk yoU!!!

[Roy-kun231]

Well, for your first question, I simply (out of curiosity) asked a friend of mine if she would be weirded out or anything if I were bi and right away she said no.

About your second question, it depends on the person. Drop little hints like LGBT issues on the news and see how they react.

And your third question, again, it depends on the person.

I really hope this helps you And you can PM me anytime you need help.

[Dr.Bobby]

Well, the real issue here is why you feel the need to tell them.

People are entitled to privacy, even with the people they live with, and even with friends. So, your being bi (or a vegetarian, or a Moaist inspired buddist that doesn't eat yogurt, or a devout Carpenter's fan, ftm), isn't really their concern, not now, at least. That might change if you get serious with someone and decide to have them spend more time with you in the dorm. But right now, I'd have to wonder what the point is in sharing something that is so personal, yet really so inconsequential to them, yet something you fear could change the quality of your life there.

[Aria67]

Thanks for the Advice! And I want to tell them because it's part of who I am. Like there are things I wish I could talk about with them, but can't because they don't know I am bi. So, yes I agree it is really none of their concern, but I hate not being able to be myself 100% and not being able to talk about certain problems that i'm having with them.