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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Unhappy Issues - October 20th 2011, 05:33 AM

Ok, so I really love this girl. We are together since June, but our relationship is a secret cause my family is really intolerant with gays. My brother studies with me, so we can't stay together even in school.

The problem number 1 is: sometimes I think I love her, but sometimes I think I just like her. I have this bipolar disorder, so when I was really empty, she made me feel something. I'm confused. I don't know if I'm being egoist lying to her about my feelings just because sometimes I feel something.

The problem number 2 is: I can't assume the relationship. The only person close to me who knows is my gay friend, and he isn't that close. So, no one knows. In the beginning, lying was ok for me. But now I can't continue. I'm lying to the people I love! And you know, I really want to talk to my bf about that, but well, she is homophobic, so...

The problem 3 is: my mom found a letter that this girl wrote for me. In this letter, she told me how she love me etc My mom was so scared. She was crying because she thought I was gay. That just broke my heart. And now, the girl can't come to my house or I to hers, cause since my mom thinks she is lesbian, she wants me to keep distance.

So, basically (haha) it's that. Our relationship is amazing, we never had a argument, but this problems are really fucking up my mind. And those are just the ones I can remember. I have so much others. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. She wants to continue the relationship, but breaking up seems the best for me, even if I love her. I mean, sometimes love isn't enough, right?

Someone can help me, please? Sorry for the long text...
   
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Re: Issues - October 20th 2011, 04:21 PM

first problem: you can tell her that you like her at first, and then when you're sure you love her tell her that you love her. If it's confusing, I apologize.
second problem: holding it all inside won't help you. I know that I've never felt the same things as you, but I know that for sure. Maybe you should be brave and tell your family. If they really love you (and I bet they do) they'll understand. Maybe at first they'll look a little shocked, but that's quite normal I guess. Honestly, I don't know what you could do with your best friend.
third problem: if you've already told you mom about that and she still can't accept that, you have nothing to do. You can just deal with it. I'm sorry, but it goes that way, you can't change someone else's mind.
And honestly, I would rather lie to my family than to end up something so beautiful such as love.

I hope this helped.


MONACHOPSIS
the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home.
   
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