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(#1 (permalink))
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"Just Be Friends!"
Average Joe
*** 
Name: Bobbie
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Location: home :p
Posts: 115
Join Date: July 23rd 2011
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Is this healthy? -
November 3rd 2011, 03:10 PM
Okay, SO!
A while ago I posted that I've got a crush on my best friend. What I didn't say is that she triggers urges to self-harm sometimes. She teases me just for fun but some of the stuff she does really hurts and confuses me... Once she pulled off my bathing suit top because I squirted her with a hose instead of her friend Marylyn. Sometimes she'll smack my butt or poke my chest among other things. But she told me she was straight. It really hurts to think she's straight and yet her behavior is so confusing... I don't know if she only said that because she doesn't want to be more than friends with me or what, because she's had relationships with girls in the past. It hurts so much to think that she's straight and yet she acts like she likes girls... Is it healthy to feel like this???  |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
******** 
Name: Stephen Davis
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Flatland
Posts: 1,498
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Is this healthy? -
November 3rd 2011, 03:33 PM
It's clear that she can't openly admit that she's attracted to girls (you mention she's had relationships with girls in the past) probably because of the stigma attached to homosexuality in society. It's also clear that she's attracted to you and her denial of it comes out as teasing and aggression.
Does she know you're attracted to her? It could be that she doesn't want you to think that she's attracted to you because you would think less of her. You can either let this keep going like it is and make the best of it, or find an appropriate time to have a frank talk with her and let her know that her teasing hurts because you care about her. If she doesn't want to have a relationship with you, okay, but she should respect your feelings and know how easily what she does hurts you. What just happened?
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(#4 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Stephen Davis
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Flatland
Posts: 1,498
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Is this healthy? -
November 3rd 2011, 07:13 PM
That ought to do it.
In your opinion, can she accept that she's attracted to you? I'm sure she is with all the teasing and physical contact. Maybe she just can't break through the friend barrier. If you've told her twice that you're attracted to her, maybe the thing to do is back off a little and let her know that it's ok if she's straight, bi, or whatever she wants to call herself but that you want some loving and sex with her. Maybe she's afraid that you'll be possessive of her and you can assure her that you won't be. What just happened?
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(#6 (permalink))
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Member
I've been here a while
********
Name: Stephen Davis
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Location: Flatland
Posts: 1,498
Join Date: January 6th 2009
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Re: Is this healthy? -
November 5th 2011, 06:32 PM
Not something you can control. I think you should give it some time and see how things go.
What just happened?
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